Eh. You're talking about a pretty common dish here. I'd do just what you did, take some and pick around it, and have more of what I actually can eat, regardless of reason. Whether your thinking is "I don't like this" or "I'm a vegetarian" in this instance, the upshot is you're not willing to eat the food your host provided, and this is something you have to be polite about.
Where is that a common dish?
My dad made this all the time for me when I was growing up in California. If it was something he had as a kid, then it is either a Midwest or Texas dish. And, it is really not gross, I promise. I feel like a pariah for liking this dish.
Post by downtoearth on May 21, 2012 15:32:06 GMT -5
I was veggie for 12 years, so I often just asked ahead of time if I could bring a salad or anything else since I was a veggetarian who didn't eat most meat courses. If I couldn't ask, I would just let the host know when we arrived that I didn't want to come off as rude, but that I was a veggie and was sorry I didn't tell them earlier.
I never ran into someone who seemed pissed or put-off in over a decade of gatherings.
Now if it's something I don't normally eat, I just take it and gladly eat it for the sake of social happiness. I sometimes eat smaller portions if it's beef since that's the meat I eat/like the very least.
Well I am a vegetarian so it makes it easy for me to avoid most foods I don't want to eat. I'm pretty laid back about it though. As long as there's some non-meat thing there, I'll eat it.
Anyone inviting me over knows that I'm a vegetarian. I always make it clear that they shouldn't make something separate for me and I will eat whatever there is that does not have meat. I don't think I know anyone who serves just a slab of meat for dinner with no sides, which makes it easy for me.
My dad made this all the time for me when I was growing up in California. If it was something he had as a kid, then it is either a Midwest or Texas dish. And, it is really not gross, I promise. I feel like a pariah for liking this dish.
My mom grew up in Ohio and made something similar to this for us when we were not feeling well. It was canned baked beans and ground beef. I have very fond memories of it, but they stopped making Big John's Beans, so I don't make it anymore.
To the OP: At a certain point I think you just have to stand your ground. Don't drink milk? Ask them for water when you sit down. Bring things to snack on when you come over or bring your own food. They'll figure it out eventually. It's a little ridiculous to me though that they wouldn't just ask someone what they want to drink and offer what they have. I know plenty of people who don't drink milk.
I'm vegan, so most people who know me know that already and I usually offer to bring something, which has always worked out well in the past. But I wonder is it seen as rude to not eat the meal at all and just enjoy the company and conversation, because I usually don't eat when I am out somewhere.
I don't feel it is. But it really depends on the way it's done too. If the person has an arrogant attitude & puts out as if they're a better person because they're not eating that...then yes, they're rude. But if they're just abiding by their own beliefs & not making a fuss about it, then no. At least, IMO.
This is weird. I never serve milk to guests. Only water, tea, coffee, alcoholic beverages, and occasionally soda.
Thank you! I always get this look, like I'm a freak for not drinking milk. I've never liked it, I'm kind of lactose intolerant, but it's all his family drinks. I find it really odd that they offer this to adults, but whatever. My H goes through like two gallons a week on his own.
I eat what the host serves and say thank you. I take larger portions of healthy food. I've never been somewhere where they didn't serve a salad or at least a veggie tray.
Yikes. There's no way I could have eaten that. Just the smell of baked beans make me want to hurl. I would probably say I had a stomach ache and just eat some of the fruit you brought....and then continue to bring something edible and eat before you go.
I'm lucky in that my IL's are very accommodating to my food aversions and weirdness. But I did have to be politely upfront with them, and my SIL sees it more as an exciting challenge than anything. And both my SIL and MIL are very good cooks, so that helps a ton.
hmm if I didn't see them often i'd tell them I was a full blown vegetarian (even if I was still eating organic meats at home).
I would have trouble eating that beefy beanie weenies dish, but I would probably try just a bit.
I can't believe that is ALL they served though. I mean heat up some canned green beans or throw some bread on the table, but no side dishes at all is weird.
as is not asking what you want to drink. I love milk, but only skim.
Post by basilosaurus on May 21, 2012 21:19:47 GMT -5
I'm sorry, but I can't eat hot dogs just to be polite. I have eaten a ton of crazy stuff in my travels, but hot dogs are beyond me. Even the smell makes me gag. Literally, the last time I ate them I was 4 after which I was promptly sick. I simply cannot eat them to be polite. Politeness is not serving me nastiness. Hot dogs are about the only thing on the planet I won't suffer through, even for family.
Thankfully not even my ILs have ever asked me to eat such a thing. My parents haven't served hot dogs since that one ill fated occasion when I was 4. My ILs would ask me to cook for them b/c they appreciate my little to no meat mentality. At least, my MIL did, even if my FIL gave me shit. She used me as an excuse to not eat a pound of steak
Post by frauschmindy on May 21, 2012 21:41:25 GMT -5
No side dishes and milk as the only option is weird. It's especially weird considering they know you don't consume these things. I would bring a bottle of water with me and carry it around, since that is what I already do with my in-laws.
Ironically, the one meat product I really miss since becoming a vegetarian is hot dogs. I haven't found a good "imitation" hot dog yet, all of the brands I've tried have been gross. Most other meats I've been fine finding suitable imitations or substitutes.
I have found that with family and close friends I will be completely honest. If you see each often and have a good relationship, I don't think its a big deal to say, "well I really don't eat X." Bring something that you know you can eat and go from there.
I would talk to your DH (if you haven't already) about speaking to his family before you have to eat there next time just to remind them so it doesn't happen again.
My MIL knows I don't eat a lot of what she makes (mainly because everything she makes tastes bad) so I can't really establish eating guidelines with her. I can't tell her I dont like leg of lamb or lasagna or even chicken when I do-- just not when she cooks it.
Also, to avoid this situation, I often volunteer to cook, and we try to get them to go out to eat.
I think my in-laws are just mostly clueless, and don't understand that anyone wouldn't eat meat or drink milk. We're also just newlywed enough that there's still an amount of awkwardness.
MIL called H yesterday morning to ask why I wasn't eating Saturday night, and if I was "unhappy". WTF. He told her once again that I don't really eat meat, but I guarantee next time I'm at his mother's or one of his sister's houses, there will be some kind of random meat dish in a huge pot served with milk to drink.
I'm probably blowing this out of proportion, I just don't want them to think I'm being rude or stuck up if I don't eat or bring my food every time.
I have only read the first 2 pages of the post, so forgive me if this has already been suggested.
What about just telling your IL's that you are a vegetarian? Do they really need to know if you occasionally eat meat? It sounds like they are all bad cooks, so are you likely to ever eat any meat that they serve? My cousin's wife is a vegetarian, except actually I found out a few years after meeting her that she also eats bacon, lol. No one except maybe your DH needs to know every single detail of your diet preferences!
Alternately, I am a vegetarian, and I am also a bit of a snob about some food things- like going to the Old Country Buffet, for example, lol. I have established with DH's family that I am a picky eater. Now the truth is their food is just nasty, so I am only picky at their house. But they don't need to know that. So now I just make sure I bring something that can constitute a full meal whenever we eat with them. For SIL's party next month, where she is serving pizza and fried chicken (AND THAT IS IT!) I am bringing a quinoa salad with veggies and chickpeas in it, so that I can just eat that, and have a balanced meal.