Just asked the ex about medical

[naeljun]

according to our decree, he is supposed to supply DD with medical. When he lost his job a couple of years ago, I put her on my insurance and never asked him to pay me for it, or if I did, he never did and I never enforced it because he wasn't working. He has been working now for about a year and I still haven't asked him to pay.

It's open enrollment time so I just sent him an email basically saying according to decree, he has to supply her with insurance. I gave him the option of checking out the cost and coverage on his or paying me the difference between what it would be for me alone and for me and her which is only about 72.00/month. We will see what he says.

Most likely he will come back and say no because he wants me to take him back to court so my support will be lowered(he thinks anyway) but little does he know that if I take him to court, he is in contempt for a couple of different reasons and he will most likely have to pay some of my attorney fees as well.

Wish me luck with this one.

[achase123]

Good luck! Ugh.

[turtle1120]

I'm irritated for you that he thinks he can pick and choose what parts of the decree he wants to follow. Good luck. I hope that you're pleasantly surprised and he actually cooperates with you on everything.

[doriswe]

Oct 15, 2012 16:08:50 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

I'm irritated for you that he thinks he can pick and choose what parts of the decree he wants to follow. Good luck. I hope that you're pleasantly surprised and he actually cooperates with you on everything.

All of this!!!

[Deleted]

Yes, I'm hoping he will do the right thing if not for you then for your daughter. My sister makes her XH keep a life insurance policy on himself for at least 250,000 that is payable to her since their kid is so young. Understandable.

[naeljun]

Oct 15, 2012 16:11:37 GMT -5 @lemonlover33 said:

Yes, I'm hoping he will do the right thing if not for you then for your daughter. My sister makes her XH keep a life insurance policy on himself for at least 250,000 that is payable to her since their kid is so young. Understandable.

That's actually a really smart thing. I should have thought of that when we were going through the divorce. Not that he would have probably adhered to it.

[naeljun]

As I figured....

We talked about this when we got divorced and again 2 years ago when I lost my job. If we go back to court I will be paying you a minimum of $50 less per week. We decided then to keep things as they were and I have kept up my end. If you now are changing your mind, then we will have to go back to court. I am paying you everything I can. I take money for my parents to buy groceries and am trying to find a second job or a better paying day job.

We had our health coverage meeting today and it will cost me $119.10 per pay period to add her to my medical and dental is $14.11.

I am doing the best I can. If you are unhappy then we will have to go to court because I cannot currently do any more.



Ugh. Looks like I am taking him to court. He won't pay me for the medical. The thing is, even if the support decreases by 50.00 as he thinks it will, the medical is 72.00 so it would still be an increase in what he pays me and he will have to come up with about 7K for half the 401k that he cashed out and spent without giving it to me.

[doriswe]

Normally I would say "is it really worth the $72?" But with the 401K stuff and him being a royal dick recently, I say "get your ass to court!"

[roselis]

Oct 16, 2012 10:36:25 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Normally I would say "is it really worth the $72?" But with the 401K stuff and him being a royal dick recently, I say "get your ass to court!"

ITA

[stephbfan]

Hmm I think he is just trying to scare you so you stop demanding things.

The one time I requested an extra to my ex and he said no. I told him, listen you know I WILL take you to court, not just because the amount of money (ti was very little) but because its the principle of it. Its your OBLIGATION to pay for it.

I told him, I will give you until xx date to make your final decision, so let me know so I can start the proceedings. Im sure it will be better financially for both of us to settle this now than having to pay hundreds of dollars to a lawyer.

That was enough but I was ready to take him to court.

In your situation you need to go to court. If it was just the medical, I would tell you otherwise but when you talk about the 410k, you need that resolved.

[naeljun]

I'm willing to forgo the 401k. I won't take him to court just for that. It may cost me for to fight than what I would get and truth be told I don't have any money to take him to court. Nothing.

We are talking about an extra 18.00 a week here for something that is in our decree. That is worth fighting for.

[prettyinpearls]

Where on earth is he getting the "$50/week less, minimum" from. Out of his ass?

Totally take him to court. I cannot STAND when these losers think that a CO is just a suggestion they can follow when they feel like it.

My XH flipped out when I sent him a request for $30, which was his percentage of OOP medical expenses for DS for a Dr’s visit. Our CO states I have to pay a certain amount OOP (which is several hundred dollars, FWIW), and once I reach that threshold, XH is responsible for 30% of DS's OOP medical expenses. I explained all of this to him in the letter that I sent with the forms for the $30 payment. That was nearly 3 months ago. He had 28 days to pay it before I could have it court enforced – I haven’t gotten around to taking it that far, but will be doing it shortly. Am I “hard up for $30” as XH put it? No. But I’m doing it to prove a point and keep XH held accountable for his full financial responsibility to our son. I don’t have the option to just not pay for his doctor’s visits, so why should XH? Fuck that.

[turtle1120]

These kind of things piss me off so much. As PIP said, it's not like we have an option to decide not to pay these bills. My Ex is the same way. I sent him a bill and his portion was $25. When I sent him the email, he replied with a sob story telling me that he had less than $1 in his checking account and he wasn't getting paid for another week. Then he had to produce his bank statements before we settled on a final child support amount....which revealed a charge for $59.99 from Match.com. Among charges for other stupid crap - but he has no money to pay for his child's doctors appointments.

We just settled things a month ago, and I know we'll be back in court before the year is over. DD had a trip to the emergency room and a couple doctor's visits lately. If he couldn't afford $25, I know these bills are not getting paid.

Naeljun - I don't think the medical issue alone would be enough to haul his butt back to court given the small dollar amount (although the principle of it all would royally piss me off), but the 401K is a big deal and I wouldn't let that one go. Might as well settle the medical issue at the same time.

[naeljun]

He said his lawyer told him that based on what I was making at the time of divorce. I make more now. He said he makes less but won't tell me how much he makes.

I can't afford to take him to court. I would have to retain a new attorney and I don't have a few thousand to do so. I'm so annoyed. I know that he may have to pay for some of my fees but is it worth it?

He owes me so much money in co-payments too.

[achase123]

Oct 16, 2012 12:16:11 GMT -5 naeljun said:

He said his lawyer told him that based on what I was making at the time of divorce. I make more now. He said he makes less but won't tell me how much he makes.

I can't afford to take him to court. I would have to retain a new attorney and I don't have a few thousand to do so. I'm so annoyed. I know that he may have to pay for some of my fees but is it worth it?

He owes me so much money in co-payments too.

Sounds like you and I are in a similar situation. I want to scream for both of us. It's so frustrating

[naeljun]

It's not our problem Achase that they are lazy a holes. But we get stuck with the crap all the time.

[achase123]

Oct 16, 2012 12:18:20 GMT -5 naeljun said:

It's not our problem Achase that they are lazy a holes. But we get stuck with the crap all the time.

I just wonder when karma will come around? Every time I feel like I'm getting ahead and things are evening out (getting a raise, passing my test, etc) he never fails to remind me that he's still got the upper hand and always will. It's so maddening.

[naeljun]

I know exactly what you mean.

I called a lawyer...ugh. There goes my Disney trip in December. I can't let him keep getting away with this.

he is now saying that I said he wouldn't have to pay her medical....what? I did say that he didn't have to put her on Cobra when he lost his job because she could go on mine and I didn't ask him for money then, or if I did I didn't enforce it. I am not even asking him to pay me until January. I am giving him over 60 days notice.