Date plans..unusual?

[Deleted]

So a date has been set for friday with the guy from work. (Backstory:shy, one real date so far, kiss on cheek only, couple of lunches at work, fairly new to NY from Midwest). He said, "hey, how about Friday night I come to your place, we get some take out and watch movies?" I agreed, thinking, ok cool. Maybe it's a NY thing, but it's kinda unusual for a guy that hasn't even kissed me to want to come hang at my place. I like the idea of a casual night of movie watching...hopefully snuggling and kissing....but I'm like, hmmm he's kinda shy with making a move so is it gonna be me on one side of the couch and him on the other? Maybe he's more comfortable making a move in a home environment, or maybe he just wants to be....friends?? Can't wait to see how this turns out!

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Oct 15, 2012 20:22:51 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

I'm thinking he wants a more relaxed environment to make his move. Good luck!

I agree with this. Movie is always code for "hook up."

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Oct 15, 2012 20:22:18 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

If you're not comfortable having him come to your place then don't.

No, I am comfortable around him. And I know him, so it's not creepy or anything. I'm just curious if this is common? Especially before any moves have been made

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Oct 15, 2012 20:29:12 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 15, 2012 20:22:51 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

I'm thinking he wants a more relaxed environment to make his move. Good luck!

I agree with this. Movie is always code for "hook up."

I hope so!

[Deleted]

PS-I haven't even kissed anyone since xh... :-| lol

[doriswe]

My XH was like that....he didn't make any moves and I ended up inviting him over to watch a movie and so he could grab my computer to fix it. He didn't even try anything then, so I grabbed him and kissed him!

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Oct 15, 2012 20:43:33 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Ok as long as your comfortable! Seems like he's definitely doing the "lets watch a movie" aka "hookup" move!

Lol...I feel like I'm 17 again!! I hope he makes the move bc I think I'm too nervous. Holy crap--exciting! :drink:

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Oct 15, 2012 20:45:27 GMT -5 dynamoo said:

OK, his being from the Midwest explains a lot. Midwestern gals don't flame me but from this East Coaster's POV, they tend to be more shy and respectful than guys from here.

Yeah, he's definitely trying to make things more comfortable aka intimate. If you're feeling comfortable enough to make a move on "movie/take out night" then go for it. Very unlikely that he will not be relieved!!!!

I like this scenario for you. A lot. A *really* lot!!!!

Yay!! I like it too, but I'm nervous to make my move Yes, he's not like the typical NY guys I've encountered( which is a good thing...don't flame, born and raised NYer, but it is what it is), shy and respectful. ;D

[leahmel]

This is probably just me, but I think it's weird to invite yourself over the other person's house if you're not in a relationship or at least dating for a while. Him inviting you over, cool. You inviting him, also cool. Him inviting himself, weird.

And I agree that when a guy invite you to his place, or invites himself to your place, he expects to get some usually. (not that there is anything wrong with that, but I would plan for it.)

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Oct 15, 2012 20:55:13 GMT -5 leahmel said:

This is probably just me, but I think it's weird to invite yourself over the other person's house if you're not in a relationship or at least dating for a while. Him inviting you over, cool. You inviting him, also cool. Him inviting himself, weird.

And I agree that when a guy invite you to his place, or invites himself to your place, he expects to get some usually. (not that there is anything wrong with that, but I would plan for it.)

I feel like if a guy invited me to his place, then yeah he may be looking for a hook up...I think I'm more comfortable in my place anyway. Since he's so shy, I highly doubt he's thinking about sex, but you never know. I mean he totally had an opportunity to kiss me on our first dat, but didn't KWIM? I think he has relationship potential, so I think I'd like to hold off on sex anyway ( not that I've ever been able to do that in the past...).

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Oct 15, 2012 21:19:56 GMT -5 dynamoo said:

Oct 15, 2012 20:51:24 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

Yay!! I like it too, but I'm nervous to make my move Yes, he's not like the typical NY guys I've encountered( which is a good thing...don't flame, born and raised NYer, but it is what it is), shy and respectful. ;D

No, I get it. Isn't your X middle eastern or Lebanese? Either one is the COMPLETE opposite of a sweet, midwestern guy, LOL!! ( I can say that since my 4 brothers are ME ) Never a sure thing but a shy guy seems less likely to cheat = .

And why wouldn't he be shy? You're beautiful, smart and successful!!! He has a lot to do to prove he's worthy. ;D

Awww...thanks . Yes xh is from morocco...that Arabic/ME culture was very strong. And thanks to my experience with him I would absolutely shy away from the culture in the future (not trying to be rude, just honest..I'm sure they're not all like him.). And yes COMPLETE opposite doesn't even do it justice. It's kind of a breath of fresh air.

[Deleted]

Agreed. I think my shy guy is just that:shy. As for those guys in your family, yes it's unfortunate, but all too common(even though I SO dislike to generalize). Even my x, he was so handsome and charming...very charming...until we got into a serious relationship- what went on behind closed doors was absolutely horrible and I can't believe I dealt with it as long as I did. And his handsome looks and charming ways lead him to another woman( maybe women, who really knows?). With my history, in my current life I am only looking for kind, honest men that are sincere. Those who are decent and not looking to "sow their oats" at my expense. My experience definitely made me grow as a person- I became someone I didn't recognize while I was with him- and now I take that with me as a learning experience. I hope to find a partner who will also be my best friend...this new guy is just the beginning for me, but it's a good start, and you never know!

[leahmel]

I didn't know much back story on OP or this guy. I wasn't trying to be negative about it, so sorry if I came off that way.

My BF was extremely shy at first too, and I still would've felt weird about him inviting himself over after one or 2 dates, but that's just me. Anyway, shy guys are usually sweet guys, that is definitely true!

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Oct 15, 2012 22:52:38 GMT -5 leahmel said:

I didn't know much back story on OP or this guy. I wasn't trying to be negative about it, so sorry if I came off that way.

My BF was extremely shy at first too, and I still would've felt weird about him inviting himself over after one or 2 dates, but that's just me. Anyway, shy guys are usually sweet guys, that is definitely true!

I didn't take it to be negative .

[leahmel]

OK, good. I know sometimes I come off that way when I am just trying to be helpful.

[Deleted]

It was common in HS, I didn't see it much in the adult dating world. At least not until a relationship was established.

[wingingitinmotown]

I agree that it's a shy Midwestern thing. A similar situation happened with George when we first started dating. As long as you're comfortable with him and you trust him (which is sounds like you are/do!) then pop some popcorn and snuggle up!

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Oct 16, 2012 20:53:21 GMT -5 dynamoo said:

When is this date? I want an update afterwards about the smooch!

Friday night