Why did I do this to myself? Cat sitting related:

[usedtobebear]

So, I told my friend her outdoor cat can temporarily live in my backyard and garage, she's in between homes for 6 months.

The cat comes over Sunday night. The last two days have been stressful for me. The effing cat sad outside my bedroom door meowing all.fvcking.night! I'm not allowing the cat in my bedroom, it already keeps jumping up on my bed so he's banned.

I have two dogs, they are with stbx, when, they come home I do not see this situation working. I have said all along my dogs are my priority and I do not want to stress them out any more than they are. I original thought they could be friends, but now I'm changing my mind.

The cat is supposed to live in garage and outside but I guess it needs to get aclimated so it doesn't just take off. What is a reasonable time frame I can set here? I was not planning on this cat being in my house.

I feel like an ass trying to be a good friend and help her out, but today I woke up with so much animosity over the cat. I can't even be nice to the little fvcker!

I also feel like an ass because my stbx was allergic to cats and it just feels wrong to have a cat in our house. I also feel sad because I miss my dogs so much and this cat is trying to take over my house where my dogs belong.

I expressed my anxiety to my friend last night and she just said we can take it one day at a time, and if it doesn't work it doesn't work, but I feel bad because she's kind of out of options. I feel like an a$$ but I have enough stress right now.

:-(

[gozf]

Then why'd you say yes? You're projecting on this cat, who did nothing wrong and is in a new place, scared and confused. The least you could do is be nice to it while your friend looks for another option.

I'm sorry you're stressed out, but you feel like an ass for a very good reason. You're acting like one, big time.

[gozf]

Oct 16, 2012 10:07:28 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

This is your friend's problem, not yours. If it's not working, it's not working. You tried to help. I have too many things going on to take on someone else's problems, let alone a cat. Unless the cat will be euthanized if you don't keep it, I'd tell your friend it's not working. You don't need the stress.

This would be my advice had she actually, y'know, given it a shot, instead of freaking out after one night, imagining that her dogs might hate the cat if they ever join her again, and saying that it's a betrayal of her allergic ex to have a cat in the house. That's some crazy talk.

I understand being too stressed to handle this, which is why she shouldn't have said yes in the first place. But these reasons of hers? Are nutty. NUTTY.

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 10:09:33 GMT -5 gozf said:

Then why'd you say yes? You're projecting on this cat, who did nothing wrong and is in a new place, scared and confused. The least you could do is be nice to it while your friend looks for another option.

I'm sorry you're stressed out, but you feel like an ass for a very good reason. You're acting like one, big time.

No sh!t, that is exactly why I do feel like an ass!!

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 10:12:07 GMT -5 gozf said:

Oct 16, 2012 10:07:28 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

This is your friend's problem, not yours. If it's not working, it's not working. You tried to help. I have too many things going on to take on someone else's problems, let alone a cat. Unless the cat will be euthanized if you don't keep it, I'd tell your friend it's not working. You don't need the stress.

This would be my advice had she actually, y'know, given it a shot, instead of freaking out after one night, imagining that her dogs might hate the cat if they ever join her again, and saying that it's a betrayal of her allergic ex to have a cat in the house. That's some crazy talk.

I understand being too stressed to handle this, which is why she shouldn't have said yes in the first place. But these reasons of hers? Are nutty. NUTTY.

It's not like I'm going around kicking the fvcking cat for god sakes! I just don't want it in my bedroom and I'm definitely regretting trying to be a hero and save the day for my friend.

[gozf]

Right. So, are you going to calm down and stop it with the irrational thoughts? Regardless of how long you keep this cat, you really should be nice to it. It has no idea where it is, who you are, or where it's previous caretaker is. Of course it's meowing. It's fucking scared. Have some sympathy for the "little fucker," as you put it.

[blackkitty]

Put the cat in the garage (how cold is it?) or in a laundry room or spare bedroom. Give it a nice warm place to lay down (maybe a little bed or blanket/towels). Make the kitty feel welcome. It doesn't need to be in your room. Give it a chance.
And post a pic. I loves the kitties!

[gozf]

Oct 16, 2012 10:19:38 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Oct 16, 2012 10:12:07 GMT -5 gozf said:

This would be my advice had she actually, y'know, given it a shot, instead of freaking out after one night, imagining that her dogs might hate the cat if they ever join her again, and saying that it's a betrayal of her allergic ex to have a cat in the house. That's some crazy talk.

I understand being too stressed to handle this, which is why she shouldn't have said yes in the first place. But these reasons of hers? Are nutty. NUTTY.

It's not like I'm going around kicking the fvcking cat for god sakes! I just don't want it in my bedroom and I'm definitely regretting trying to be a hero and save the day for my friend.

You said you resented the cat. You called it a fucker. Now it's a fucking thing. I have no idea how you're treating it, but it doesn't sound like you're being reassuring or welcoming to it.

Evaluate yourself. Seriously.

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 10:12:07 GMT -5 gozf said:

Oct 16, 2012 10:07:28 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

This is your friend's problem, not yours. If it's not working, it's not working. You tried to help. I have too many things going on to take on someone else's problems, let alone a cat. Unless the cat will be euthanized if you don't keep it, I'd tell your friend it's not working. You don't need the stress.

This would be my advice had she actually, y'know, given it a shot, instead of freaking out after one night, imagining that her dogs might hate the cat if they ever join her again, and saying that it's a betrayal of her allergic ex to have a cat in the house. That's some crazy talk.

I understand being too stressed to handle this, which is why she shouldn't have said yes in the first place. But these reasons of hers? Are nutty. NUTTY.

Nutty, for sure... I lived in my house with my stbx for 10 years, I'm still getting used to the idea of living alone and without him. I have reminder's everywhere, and I was thinking last night how he would be rolling over in his tent knowing I have a cat in our fvcking house. I totally own my 'NUTTY' thoughts!

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 10:20:50 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Put the cat in the garage (how cold is it?) or in a laundry room or spare bedroom. Give it a nice warm place to lay down (maybe a little bed or blanket/towels). Make the kitty feel welcome. It doesn't need to be in your room. Give it a chance.
And post a pic. I loves the kitties!

Help me to love cats, ugh! I've always been a dog person, I've never 'known' a cat and loved it even though I've lived with cats.

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 10:20:48 GMT -5 gozf said:

Right. So, are you going to calm down and stop it with the irrational thoughts? Regardless of how long you keep this cat, you really should be nice to it. It has no idea where it is, who you are, or where it's previous caretaker is. Of course it's meowing. It's fucking scared. Have some sympathy for the "little fucker," as you put it.

I want to calm down and like the cat, I'm pissed at myself for agreeing to this in the first place. My friend is saying she will sleep over for the next few nights to get the cat adjusted, which is what she should be doing, IMO.

[doriswe]

This whole post has my eyes rolling back into my head....that's about all I have to say!

[gozf]

Oct 16, 2012 10:28:19 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Oct 16, 2012 10:20:48 GMT -5 gozf said:

Right. So, are you going to calm down and stop it with the irrational thoughts? Regardless of how long you keep this cat, you really should be nice to it. It has no idea where it is, who you are, or where it's previous caretaker is. Of course it's meowing. It's fucking scared. Have some sympathy for the "little fucker," as you put it.

I want to calm down and like the cat, I'm pissed at myself for agreeing to this in the first place. My friend is saying she will sleep over for the next few nights to get the cat adjusted, which is what she should be doing, IMO.

That'll actually be more confusing to the cat, who will then have ton wonder all over again where your friend went.

Have your friend call local foster organizations and rescues to find another solution. You're clearly not willing or emotionally equipped to make this work.

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 10:34:31 GMT -5 gozf said:

Oct 16, 2012 10:28:19 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

I want to calm down and like the cat, I'm pissed at myself for agreeing to this in the first place. My friend is saying she will sleep over for the next few nights to get the cat adjusted, which is what she should be doing, IMO.

That'll actually be more confusing to the cat, who will then have ton wonder all over again where your friend went.

Have your friend call local foster organizations and rescues to find another solution. You're clearly not willing or emotionally equipped to make this work.

Really? My friend is living with her Mom down the street, the whole plan is for her to take care of the cat at my house because her Mom is in an HOA and can't have the cat. I realize I'm being an ass and hope my heart softens for the cat.

[gozf]

Oct 16, 2012 10:54:32 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Oct 16, 2012 10:34:31 GMT -5 gozf said:

That'll actually be more confusing to the cat, who will then have ton wonder all over again where your friend went.

Have your friend call local foster organizations and rescues to find another solution. You're clearly not willing or emotionally equipped to make this work.

Really? My friend is living with her Mom down the street, the whole plan is for her to take care of the cat at my house because her Mom is in an HOA and can't have the cat. I realize I'm being an ass and hope my heart softens for the cat.

If your friend will still be present, then having her stay over will probably be fine. Will she see this cat, like, every day?

I hope your heart softens for this cat, too. You sound less frantic and angry than your OP and subsequent follow-ups. Feeling better?

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 10:59:12 GMT -5 gozf said:

Oct 16, 2012 10:54:32 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Really? My friend is living with her Mom down the street, the whole plan is for her to take care of the cat at my house because her Mom is in an HOA and can't have the cat. I realize I'm being an ass and hope my heart softens for the cat.

If your friend will still be present, then having her stay over will probably be fine. Will she see this cat, like, every day?

I hope your heart softens for this cat, too. You sound less frantic and angry than your OP and subsequent follow-ups. Feeling better?

Yes, she will likely see the cat every day and be it's care taker, feed it, litter box, etc.. I just offered for the cat to live in my backyard and garage. Yet, last night it was just me and the cat in my house and he kept me up all night There is also more to the story that happened yesterday with said friend so I think that is creeping it's way into my pissed off self. Thanks for sticking up for the cat at least!

[gozf]

Oct 16, 2012 11:03:41 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Oct 16, 2012 10:59:12 GMT -5 gozf said:

If your friend will still be present, then having her stay over will probably be fine. Will she see this cat, like, every day?

I hope your heart softens for this cat, too. You sound less frantic and angry than your OP and subsequent follow-ups. Feeling better?

Yes, she will likely see the cat every day and be it's care taker, feed it, litter box, etc.. I just offered for the cat to live in my backyard and garage. Yet, last night it was just me and the cat in my house and he kept me up all night There is also more to the story that happened yesterday with said friend so I think that is creeping it's way into my pissed off self. Thanks for sticking up for the cat at least!

Make friends with the cat. Cats are awesome. This cat is confused. It's probably pissed at your friend, so you two have that in common. You'll be fine.

But if you and this friend aren't on the best terms right now, or if you're harboring any resentment, don't have her stay at your house. That's not going to help decrease your stress at all.

[blackkitty]

Be nice to the kitty and give it love. You get what you give in this life. If you treat it shitty and are unwelcoming, you are going to make the poor kitty sad and misbehave.

[lovelybb]

This post is cracking me up... I'm sorry OP that you're having problems, but it looks like it will hopefully settle down soon... Poor pussy was just looking for some love LOL!

[Deleted]

What is actually causing you stress with the cat? That it's meowing outside of your bedroom? As a PP mentioned you can keep it in a room with lots of snuggle stuff and close the door. That should help you sleep better. Otherwise the cat seems pretty low maintenance.

[starburst604]

Oct 16, 2012 11:10:20 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Be nice to the kitty and give it love. You get what you give in this life. If you treat it shitty and are unwelcoming, you are going to make the poor kitty sad and misbehave.

Seriously. It's a cat, not a disgusting rat or something. My cat is very affectionate and low key, but when I've moved, he cries for days, loses weight and is basically inconsolable until he adjusts to his new spot. And that is WITH me, his person, living alongside him. They are very territorial and can't just go from home to home without batting an eye. I can't imagine how he'd act if I popped him in a strangers garage/backyard where he was basically ignored. Animals can sense when you don't like them, you know.

You don't have to let it in your bedroom, plenty of people don't. But try interracting with it a little, scratch it's head and ears and give it treats and toys and a comfy place to sleep. If not, like someone else suggested maybe your friend can find a foster situation for her kitty. Also, was this cat previously an outdoor cat? If not, she should really find a better situation for it. Indoors is the ideal situation for any cat. Too much danger living outdoors with cars, predators etc.

Kitty Shelter volunteer steps off soapbox now.

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 11:17:59 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

What is actually causing you stress with the cat? That it's meowing outside of your bedroom? As a PP mentioned you can keep it in a room with lots of snuggle stuff and close the door. That should help you sleep better. Otherwise the cat seems pretty low maintenance.

Yes, last night the meowing was too much for me. Mostly I'm worried about when my dogs come home (which could be any day). I'm worried to cause them stress and I hope they can get along, even if the cat is outside most of the time, my dogs will still pace around I'm sure. I just think it was a bad idea but I can't take back the offer and need to make the best of it. I did lay down cozy blankets in the spare bedroom and open the windows so it can sit on the window seal. I guess I'm not used to cats.

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 11:18:19 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Oct 16, 2012 11:10:20 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Be nice to the kitty and give it love. You get what you give in this life. If you treat it shitty and are unwelcoming, you are going to make the poor kitty sad and misbehave.

Seriously. It's a cat, not a disgusting rat or something. My cat is very affectionate and low key, but when I've moved, he cries for days, loses weight and is basically inconsolable until he adjusts to his new spot. And that is WITH me, his person, living alongside him. They are very territorial and can't just go from home to home without batting an eye. I can't imagine how he'd act if I popped him in a strangers garage/backyard where he was basically ignored. Animals can sense when you don't like them, you know.

You don't have to let it in your bedroom, plenty of people don't. But try interracting with it a little, scratch it's head and ears and give it treats and toys and a comfy place to sleep. If not, like someone else suggested maybe your friend can find a foster situation for her kitty. Also, was this cat previously an outdoor cat? If not, she should really find a better situation for it. Indoors is the ideal situation for any cat. Too much danger living outdoors with cars, predators etc.

Kitty Shelter volunteer steps off soapbox now.

Thanks, this helps! I do want to be a good cat sitter, I will buy it some toys. Yes, this cat is an outdoor cat. My friend has two cats, one is indoor and one is outdoor, she can have the indoor cat at her Mom's but not the outdoor due to HOA, so since it's an outdoor cat I say hey, he can live in my backyard and garage. So, I think the plan has made a slight detour which I wasn't prepared for.

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 11:27:41 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Oct 16, 2012 11:26:36 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Yes, last night the meowing was too much for me. Mostly I'm worried about when my dogs come home (which could be any day). I'm worried to cause them stress and I hope they can get along, even if the cat is outside most of the time, my dogs will still pace around I'm sure. I just think it was a bad idea but I can't take back the offer and need to make the best of it. I did lay down cozy blankets in the spare bedroom and open the windows so it can sit on the window seal. I guess I'm not used to cats.

Someone once told me that our biggest worries in life are usually the ones that never come to fruition.

I sure hope so!! I hope I can eventually post an update how my two 100lb dogs and the cat are BFF's. ;D

[udscoobychick]

Oct 16, 2012 11:31:14 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Oct 16, 2012 11:27:41 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Someone once told me that our biggest worries in life are usually the ones that never come to fruition.

I sure hope so!! I hope I can eventually post an update how my two 100lb dogs and the cat are BFF's. ;D

They may not get to be BFFs, but they're not guaranteed to fight...my roommate's huskey and her cat just generally ignore each other. Except when they get into these Wild Wild West-type showdowns staring at each other to see who flinches first. It's hilarious!

[jade28]

Honestly, I get your frustration. I had to stay for a cat for a few days and was miserable. I am not a cat person. The smell, the scratches and meowing bothered me. I am also really, really allergic.

Granted though since I am not a cat person, I would never agree to keep one. I think you are not so much frustrated at the cat but at yourself for agreeing to something you knew wouldn't make you happy. You have so much on your plate right now. Do what is best for you.

[usedtobebear]

The cat is gone. I've been talking to my friend and we both agree that having this cat live outdoors is unrealistic and I for sure do NOT want an indoor cat for 6 months. I do feel bad, but I never offered to have the cat indoors and was naive to think that this set up would ever work. I clearly didn't think this one through which reminds me how I don't trust myself to make smart decisions these days.

Thanks ladies for all of your advice. I will stick to dog sitting only in the future!!