Post by dr.girlfriend on Oct 16, 2012 11:38:32 GMT -5
LOL. Chiming in with a dissenting opinion. Two parents from Mumbai, and they pretty much let me do my own thing and even let me pursue a career in psychology. :-) It helps that I was kind of obsessed with grades all on my own, though. And I got a really nice car in high school.
I am not Asian. My MiL is. We thought marriage would make her back off. Nope. She still is trying to force him to change his career, live where she decrees, buy the house she wants, etc.
I don't think it has a thing to do with Asians - try talking to a Jewish kid.
I don't understand what this means.
Signed, a Jewish kid whose mom was the opposite of a Tiger Mom
It's the "My mom was waaaay worse. Try having an Irish/Catholic/Greek/Orthodox/Atheist/Italian/CEO/Hippie/Jewish/Long Island Mom!"
~signed daughter of a Jewish mother who is now a Jewish mother. WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME ANYMORE? No, that's okay. I'm fine. Alone. In the dark. And cold.
Oh my mom was a totally stereotypical Jewish mother. Just not what I picture as a Tiger Mom. Like, she never forced me to do an activity/play an instrument I never wanted to play, didn't make me do math workbooks over the summers, and let me have sleepovers.
But the Jewish guilt? And the "you are going to be a doctor/lawyer/banker"-- yes. "Why didn't you call me today??" oy vey.
I don't think it has a thing to do with Asians - try talking to a Jewish kid.
I don't understand what this means.
Signed, a Jewish kid whose mom was the opposite of a Tiger Mom
The only particular commonality between the Jewish parents I know and Tiger parents I know is the general valuing of education and achievement.
Amy Chua's husband, Jed Rubenfeld, is Jewish and was raised by what seem so have been fairly typical Jewish parents, and in the book Amy paints her in-laws as being decidedly un-Tigerish. I think that Amy Chua would tell you that sterotypical Jewish parents want their kids to do well and may encourage them to pursue higher ed and enter certain career fields, but that their methods are very different than those of typical Asian Tiger parents.
Signed, a Jewish kid whose mom was the opposite of a Tiger Mom
The only particular commonality between the Jewish parents I know and Tiger parents I know is the general valuing of education and achievement.
Amy Chua's husband, Jed Rubenfeld, is Jewish and was raised by what seem so have been fairly typical Jewish parents, and in the book Amy paints her in-laws as being decidedly un-Tigerish. I think that Amy Chua would tell you that sterotypical Jewish parents want their kids to do well and may encourage them to pursue higher ed and enter certain career fields, but that their methods are very different than those of typical Asian Tiger parents.
I'd agree with hens based on people I actually know and grew up with.
I think there are other factors at play too. Like whether the parents are immigrants. What or how much exposure the parents had to people who were not the same ethnicity in their day to day lives (at work, etc.). I also think they may be tougher on the first born child, as compared to any younger siblings.
Anecdotal, I know, but my mom is an immigrant. and I'm the first born.
I definitely think it's quite common among immigrants. The Nigerian immigrants I know tend to be very strict with their kids (no dating, strict curfews) and want them to study engineering/business/law/medicine. I imagine I might end up being similar, hopefully a little more chill though lol.
My parents were funny though. They were SUPER strict about doing well in school and we never got to do social things like sleepovers or school dances, but they also never had us take music lessons or go to Chinese school. They also never pushed any of us into the typical doctor or lawyer career tracks. Neither of my parents went to college so maybe they figured if they got us all that far that they'd done their job.
As for how long they tried to force us to do shit we don't want to do...they haven't stopped yet!
ditto this exactly. My parents are immigrants and they really pushed me up until I left for college and moved out of the house. I guess they knew me enough to know that they didn't have to spend so much effort after that. I'm like tone-deaf with two left feet so I didn't have any non-academic extracurriculars. They only cared about the grades. One semester in junior year of hs, my ranking dropped from #1 to #2 and my mom balled.
But for the Asians I know with more Americanized parents, they were much more involved in other non-academic activities also.