I'm sooooo lonely!

[Deleted]

Seriously. I have tons of friends, I ask friends to do things all.the.time. They are always too busy or decide they don't want to do anything except stay in their houses by themselves.

It's seriously bumming me out. I'm a super social person and like to do stuff. My friends used to be too, but it's like all of a sudden they just shut down. I know it isn't personal. And yes I realize I could go out and meet new friends, and I have (yay for GBCN get togethers). Despite my socialness, I have terrible social anxiety when it comes to trying to meet new people. Overall I'm just so tired of not doing ANYTHING and I really miss my friends. It really bums me out.

Yes I've told all my friends this. They're like "sorry, we're just tired." WTF? do my friends all have chronic fatigue syndrome or something?

This is really just a vent I guess.

[blackkitty]

go to MEETUP!!

[achase123]

Ugh, I am sorry! I would try joining some local things (I'm involved with the chamber as well as the local cattlewomen's association and different networking things for work). It keeps me busy and definitely helps me meet new people.

My friends are pretty good about getting together but I have some that are like yours, they just want to relax/veg on the weekends. When XH has P I tend to want to go out and do things.

I usually have a couple of go to friends who are up for hanging out. It sounds like your friends aren't as outgoing/social as you are.

[lovelybb]

I was right there with you last weekend. I work for myself from home too, so I can feel really isolated sometimes. It's rough, but I usually have a small pity part for myself that involves a good sob fest then I go for a run or take myself to the movies. Keep asking and hopefully they'll snap out of it!

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 11:09:14 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

go to MEETUP!!

I am! On Thursday:)

[llh0211]

I can definitely relate. I decided to join a Meetup group, and have gone out with them a couple times. I'm also learning to do things on my own... which has always been a challenge for me.

[baa1981]

Oct 16, 2012 11:14:51 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 16, 2012 11:09:14 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

go to MEETUP!!

I am! On Thursday:)

I'm in a similar position that you are pdx - but i don't have a large base of friends here yet. I downloaded the meet up app last night and was looking at upcoming ones today. I found one for nude yoga with the hill country nudist. I sent an IM to my friend telling her I was going to try it out (totally joking). She sent me a text and said I forgot to tell you that I called IT and they are remoted into my computer fixing something...

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 11:17:26 GMT -5 llh0211 said:

I can definitely relate. I decided to join a Meetup group, and have gone out with them a couple times. I'm also learning to do things on my own... which has always been a challenge for me.

Yea I mean I guess the thing for me is I miss my friends. We are super close and I have so much fun with them. And I don't really have an issue doing things on my own, it's just I do them ALL.THE.TIME on my own. I prefer doing it with friends you know?

I think part of the issue is that work is pretty isolating as well. I just work with two other dudes and have very little interaction. So by the time work is over I'm all like "I WANNA SOCIALIZE."

[usedtobebear]

Oct 16, 2012 11:05:25 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

; WTF? do my friends all have chronic fatigue syndrome or something?

This made me LOL,

Are they late night activities? I'm definitely not as outgoing as I used to be and now that I'm back to being single I definitely don't have the stamina I did back in my 20's. I like going to dinner and having a few drinks but have a hard time staying out late unless it's an occassion of some sort. I went out to a concert at a bar on Friday (it was actually a duo from Portland), anyway, we didn't leave the house until 10:30 and I was thinking wtf, this is way past my bedtime. ha ha.

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 11:39:58 GMT -5 usedtobebear said:

Oct 16, 2012 11:05:25 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

; WTF? do my friends all have chronic fatigue syndrome or something?

This made me LOL,

Are they late night activities? I'm definitely not as outgoing as I used to be and now that I'm back to being single I definitely don't have the stamina I did back in my 20's. I like going to dinner and having a few drinks but have a hard time staying out late unless it's an occassion of some sort. I went out to a concert at a bar on Friday (it was actually a duo from Portland), anyway, we didn't leave the house until 10:30 and I was thinking wtf, this is way past my bedtime. ha ha.

Ha! No! They are not late night activities. It's like let's get together Saturday afternoon and watch the football game, go to the pumpkin patch, grab happy hour after work, come over to my house and I will cook them dinner.

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 11:49:02 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

That's a bummer. I have trouble scheduling things with friends sometimes so I can appreciate what you mean. I hope they get their butts in gear soon!

Right? I mean I don't want to brag or anything, but I'm kinda a good time. ;D

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 11:52:39 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

I'm also a good time and often come with baked goodies. I can assure you that if I go apple picking with someone, there will be apple crisp at the end. Pumpkin picking? Boozy cider and roasted seeds. Yet, alas, there have been no fall yummies to be shared with friends this season

Me too!!!! I tried to plan this event with friends this weekend. And everyone accepted the invite and is now "not sure" if they can make it. WHAT? MCC I wish we didn't live on opposite coasts, I think we'd have a good time.

[chrissie3416]

PDX, I am in the same boat. My friends are a blast when we can actually all get together but it is rare that any of them actually want to do anything. So unless Im with J or my DD, I tend to just do things alone...shop, eat, go to the movies, etc....
So I can definitely relate.

[redredwine]

Oct 16, 2012 11:14:51 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 16, 2012 11:09:14 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

go to MEETUP!!

I am! On Thursday:)

Woot!

And for those who suggested Meetups-PDX and I have tried...I just joined like 10 groups and alot of their meetups are groups that sound like they could be fun, but have events I'm not interested in (Bollywood movie night? Not interested!)

I feel ya, PDX! I actually planned a wine night at my house last week with my co-workers from my last position. They'd been bugging me forever to host one and then we wanted to celebrate my new place. I invited 8. 7 canceled...mostly day of/last minute. Awesome ladies...and ya wonder why I don't plan anything!? I was really miffed.


But DUDE-I'm always up for meeting up. My only thing is that I have to get home to my dog most days. Because of my new commute, I can't stop home at lunch and then go out after work, so unless I plan it a little better (walk her in the morning if I'm planning to go out after work), it's hard. I'm ALWAYS up for visitors near my hood-so anytime you're feeling lonely, come on over to my hood and we can grab a bite to eat, grab a drink, whatever. There's a place literally 2 blocks away from me that's a local neighborhood bar that always has live music during the week (it's very chill). I never have anyone to check it out with-all of my friends here minus YOU are married/in relationships/with babies. So, invite away my friend. I often suck at the actual inviting...mostly because I get home, excercise with the dog, eat dinner, chill, bed. Very exciting (and lonely) life.

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 12:33:11 GMT -5 redredwine said:

Oct 16, 2012 11:14:51 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I am! On Thursday:)

Woot!

And for those who suggested Meetups-PDX and I have tried...I just joined like 10 groups and alot of their meetups are groups that sound like they could be fun, but have events I'm not interested in (Bollywood movie night? Not interested!)

I feel ya, PDX! I actually planned a wine night at my house last week with my co-workers from my last position. They'd been bugging me forever to host one and then we wanted to celebrate my new place. I invited 8. 7 canceled...mostly day of/last minute. Awesome ladies...and ya wonder why I don't plan anything!? I was really miffed.


But DUDE-I'm always up for meeting up. My only thing is that I have to get home to my dog most days. Because of my new commute, I can't stop home at lunch and then go out after work, so unless I plan it a little better (walk her in the morning if I'm planning to go out after work), it's hard. I'm ALWAYS up for visitors near my hood-so anytime you're feeling lonely, come on over to my hood and we can grab a bite to eat, grab a drink, whatever. There's a place literally 2 blocks away from me that's a local neighborhood bar that always has live music during the week (it's very chill). I never have anyone to check it out with-all of my friends here minus YOU are married/in relationships/with babies. So, invite away my friend. I often suck at the actual inviting...mostly because I get home, excercise with the dog, eat dinner, chill, bed. Very exciting (and lonely) life.

YAY!!!! I will definitely be hitting you up to hang out more. I love your hood, so I totally don't mind hanging out there! Let's check out that bar soon. And dude your ex-coworkers suck. WTF?

[jade28]

I so know how you are feeling and the same thing happened to me. I never had any fun plans even though I loved going out. My circle of friends just weren't available for the things I wanted to do. I would take it really personally.

But Meetup really made everything better. I found people with similar interests and most of all, people who love going out and being sociable. Now, I don't really have time to do meetup with school and work but it really changed my life. I met awesome people but unfortunately, now I am that person who is never available to hang. Makes me sad, but gotta get my master's degree so that is my focus now.

[naeljun]

Oct 16, 2012 11:09:14 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

go to MEETUP!!

This is what I have been doing. I actually met some nice women and we are pretty much the staple group every other weekend. That is how I met my new attorney. She is a family law attorney. I go out with them more than my friends I have known for a while.

[redredwine]

Oct 16, 2012 12:41:06 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 16, 2012 12:33:11 GMT -5 redredwine said:

Woot!

And for those who suggested Meetups-PDX and I have tried...I just joined like 10 groups and alot of their meetups are groups that sound like they could be fun, but have events I'm not interested in (Bollywood movie night? Not interested!)

I feel ya, PDX! I actually planned a wine night at my house last week with my co-workers from my last position. They'd been bugging me forever to host one and then we wanted to celebrate my new place. I invited 8. 7 canceled...mostly day of/last minute. Awesome ladies...and ya wonder why I don't plan anything!? I was really miffed.


But DUDE-I'm always up for meeting up. My only thing is that I have to get home to my dog most days. Because of my new commute, I can't stop home at lunch and then go out after work, so unless I plan it a little better (walk her in the morning if I'm planning to go out after work), it's hard. I'm ALWAYS up for visitors near my hood-so anytime you're feeling lonely, come on over to my hood and we can grab a bite to eat, grab a drink, whatever. There's a place literally 2 blocks away from me that's a local neighborhood bar that always has live music during the week (it's very chill). I never have anyone to check it out with-all of my friends here minus YOU are married/in relationships/with babies. So, invite away my friend. I often suck at the actual inviting...mostly because I get home, excercise with the dog, eat dinner, chill, bed. Very exciting (and lonely) life.

YAY!!!! I will definitely be hitting you up to hang out more. I love your hood, so I totally don't mind hanging out there! Let's check out that bar soon. And dude your ex-coworkers suck. WTF?

Yah-they DO suck. I'm really annoyed and won't be reaching out unless they reach out to me, which is totally immature I know.

[heavenly]

I am sorry! I like what the other's have suggested to you. I will admit, I am very lonely right now too. It is hard because my son is at the age where trouble 2's are hitting hard and limits what activities I can do since we need to be home before 7pm weeknights.

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 13:35:15 GMT -5 redredwine said:

Yah-they DO suck. I'm really annoyed and won't be reaching out unless they reach out to me, which is totally immature I know.

You are not the immature one here...

[leahmel]

I had a lot of luck with meetup groups myself. Most of my old friends are married and don't go out much anymore. I know exactly how you feel!

[emma245]

Oct 16, 2012 11:05:25 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Seriously. I have tons of friends, I ask friends to do things all.the.time. They are always too busy or decide they don't want to do anything except stay in their houses by themselves.

It's seriously bumming me out. I'm a super social person and like to do stuff. My friends used to be too, but it's like all of a sudden they just shut down. I know it isn't personal. And yes I realize I could go out and meet new friends, and I have (yay for GBCN get togethers). Despite my socialness, I have terrible social anxiety when it comes to trying to meet new people. Overall I'm just so tired of not doing ANYTHING and I really miss my friends. It really bums me out.

Yes I've told all my friends this. They're like "sorry, we're just tired." WTF? do my friends all have chronic fatigue syndrome or something?

This is really just a vent I guess.

I feel like this a lot too. I have a lot of different groups of friends (college, law school, work) but I feel like the majority are married or want to go out and get wasted. I can get wasted but I dont want to do it every single weekend night.

Sometimes I just want to go to dinner or something else and no one seems interested.....I need to Portland to hang out! Ive seriously been checking out places and taking the Bar there in February

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 16:13:17 GMT -5 emma245 said:

I feel like this a lot too. I have a lot of different groups of friends (college, law school, work) but I feel like the majority are married or want to go out and get wasted. I can get wasted but I dont want to do it every single weekend night.

Sometimes I just want to go to dinner or something else and no one seems interested.....I need to Portland to hang out! Ive seriously been checking out places and taking the Bar there in February

That would be AH-MAZING!!!! :Y: :Y: :Y:

[emma245]

I know Im actually totally pumped for it. Im also considering finishing up my pilates certification because there is a shortage in Portland. If I had the money, Id totally try to open a studio using the SPX method because there is no where that has it in Portland currently and its my obsession. But Im going to take the Bar as a fall back. Ugh I should probably start studying. The good news is Ill be there in Feb for another GTG!!

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 16:30:46 GMT -5 emma245 said:

I know Im actually totally pumped for it. Im also considering finishing up my pilates certification because there is a shortage in Portland. If I had the money, Id totally try to open a studio using the SPX method because there is no where that has it in Portland currently and its my obsession. But Im going to take the Bar as a fall back. Ugh I should probably start studying. The good news is Ill be there in Feb for another GTG!!

This is very exciting news! And I'd totally join your studio if you opened one! I've never done pilates, but I really want to learn.

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 17:00:58 GMT -5 @darkangel said:

I feel you on this. I had one friend keep pulling this "well I'm busy, but we definitely do something next week" thing any time I suggested plans and then I'd hear nothing for weeks. Even then the next time we talked there would be no mention of meeting up, so I've finally written them off. If they want to hang out they know where to find me, but I'm tired of being let down. I need new friends, but I'm so shy when it comes to meeting new people.

This is me! I'm super social around people I know and I love it! But I have a really, really hard time meeting new people.

I honestly don't get it. 99% of the time I'd always prefer to do something rather than sit around at my house.

[leahmel]

Oct 16, 2012 17:06:23 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 16, 2012 17:00:58 GMT -5 @darkangel said:

I feel you on this. I had one friend keep pulling this "well I'm busy, but we definitely do something next week" thing any time I suggested plans and then I'd hear nothing for weeks. Even then the next time we talked there would be no mention of meeting up, so I've finally written them off. If they want to hang out they know where to find me, but I'm tired of being let down. I need new friends, but I'm so shy when it comes to meeting new people.

This is me! I'm super social around people I know and I love it! But I have a really, really hard time meeting new people.

I honestly don't get it. 99% of the time I'd always prefer to do something rather than sit around at my house.

I am the same exact way, too! It always sucks when you get to a lonely place because you want to do things but getting past that barrier of knowing new people is so tough. The meetup thing is great, but going for the first couple times to a new group is hard. I just had to force myself and push through that part of it.

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2012 20:01:07 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

We can all hang out in Portland when I move there!!

YES! I heart by GBCN friends.