Visitting your parents - housework, etc.

[georgeharrison]

We just spent a weekend at my parent's house. They live in Mt. Vernon, so we occasionally will go up and spend the night.

My mom always wants to take care of us, which I appreciate. I try to help out by doing dishes and cleaning up after our family, but she always tells me not to worry about it. We were just up there and I washed the sheets and made the beds in the extra bedrooms we stayed in. She told me she doesn't want me to work when I go up to her house, but if I don't do it, she has to.

It just got me to wondering if all moms are like this.

James and I were talking and he said that I would be the same way with Tman, which is probably true.

So, when/if you go to your parent's house, do they treat you like a guest or do you take care of yourself like you would in your own home?

[niq]

My parents live in Atlanta, so I only see them in person a few times a year.

My mom's house used to be a bit of a hot mess. Whenever I went back she would ask me to tidy certain things up or move stuff around that she's not strong enough or tall enough to deal with. It really sort of annoyed me. Now it's a much cleaner place and she's stopped being as much of a pack rat as she used to.

I always get roped into doing IT for both parents but that's fine with me.

My dad keeps his house clean by throwing money at the problem, so that's a non-issue.

[Deleted]

I live a mile away from my parents and we live about 15 from H's parents. We've never stayed over, but we help where we can.

When we go over there all of the cooking is done, but we help with things like setting the table, clearing dishes, etc....

[Deleted]

Well, I generally am expected to pick up after myself, by all the sets of parents (I have 3).

[MrsH2010]

My parents live close and I am super close with my mom so we make dinner together and we clean up together. I am there all the time, so I always try to help out and do my part!

I would say that if she wants to take care of you while you are up there that is awesome, as long as you offer to help and then when she comes to your house you do the same thing!

[picksthemusic]

I think it depends... when we visit my ILs, we barely lift a finger - MIL gets upset if we do. Not mad, but just says things like, "No, mijita, you go and sit and relax. I'll finish up in here." But sometimes I do things without her permission (load the dishwasher, gather dishes, wash things, etc). We also try and make our beds and fold blankets, that kind of thing. But she doens't work and loves to be a SAHW/M.

My mom on the other hand, I will always help in the kitchen, cooking, tidying up, whatever, and she doesn't object at all.

[jennlin]

My parents and I'll's live close, so we never stay over. My IL's expect us to go above and beyond as if we live there- do everyone's dishes, take out trash, h still mows their lawn and washes his parents car-- they really come from a culture where kids are free labor. When we go to my parents house we don't do anything. And like niq, we are IT for both sets of parents.

[Deleted]

Whenever I go visit my family I help right along like I would have before I got married. Might make a difference that there are quite a few of us so there is always lots to be done.

[jennlin]

Oh and h does all the "handy work" at my parents' house-- fixing the wall, the garage, installl this, install that...etc.

He also remodled one of my parents' bathroom "for fun" when I was still living there.

[Deleted]

H's parents treat us like guests.. Or just.. Like H. Because his mom spoils all her kids ROTTEN. lol

My mom... no. My mom couldn't care less. She likes having visitors because she knows they will clean for her. Ridiculous...

[mkate710]

My parents will generally ask for help with little stuff - make a salad, dry the dishes, etc. but we rarely stay over at their house so that's about the extent of it. It's less of a "do this for us" issue and more of a "let's hang out in the kitchen and cook together" thing, because that's how my family spends time together.

ILs, we rarely see, but when we do, it's usually for a long weekend. MIL likes things sterile-clean, so any help we offer, she follows us around to do a better job of it. It's great.

H is IT for both sets of parents as well. I cracked up when Niq mentioned that because every single time we go see my parents, my dad needs H to fix something on his computer.

[livinitup]

My mom would do as much grunt work as I'd let her. So, I make a point of doing dishes and sheets, etc. My MIL asks guests to strip beds and wash down their bathroom, and everybody happily participates.

I think parents should direct a good level of clean up and participation by their adult children.

[larzhope]

May 21, 2012 13:42:35 GMT -5 georgeharrison said:

We just spent a weekend at my parent's house. They live in Mt. Vernon, so we occasionally will go up and spend the night.

My mom always wants to take care of us, which I appreciate. I try to help out by doing dishes and cleaning up after our family, but she always tells me not to worry about it. We were just up there and I washed the sheets and made the beds in the extra bedrooms we stayed in. She told me she doesn't want me to work when I go up to her house, but if I don't do it, she has to.

It just got me to wondering if all moms are like this.

James and I were talking and he said that I would be the same way with Tman, which is probably true.

So, when/if you go to your parent's house, do they treat you like a guest or do you take care of yourself like you would in your own home?

Interesting - my mom is exactly like this. H's parents are not - I imagine they expect us to pull our own weight (which we always do, so they never have to ask). My mom goes out of her way to make sure we don't have to lift a finger - very nice, but also very annoying sometimes.

For example, I was just in Michigan for a shower. My mom gave up her car so I didn't have to rent one (my parents have a work truck so it's not a huge sacrifice). She was driving me to the airport when I realized i forgot to fill up the tank - I felt awful, and she got almost offended/defensive saying she would've been upset that I filled it (despite the fact that I used all the gas!)