Ok I need to vent!

[kwpnjumper55]

I'm sorry, you don't need to read this but I feel like I'm in such a shitty place right now that I need to get it out. (Pardon moi francaise)

Right now I feel like I'm in limbo! I am waiting to get into a program and until then I am just in a craphole. I feel like I'm doing NOTHING with my life! A lot of my friends are buying gorgeous homes, are driving really nice cars, and have amazing jobs! I feel so jealous of them! We have a small starter home and both drive older Honda Civics. And NOTHING will change until I am done with nursing school and get a job because I was selfish and quit a perfectly decent paying job because I was unhappy and wanted to go back to school! ( holy run on)

I feel like crap because I have a BA and yet I work with a bunch of Highschool kids in order to help pay bills. I feel like I have let everyone down and sometimes I worry that I am a) depressed or b) dealing with the downfall of being raised with such high expectations. I feel like crying at least once a day and I don't really want to put my emotions on DH because he already takes the financial brunt of my decisions.

If you've made it this far, you deserve a cookie, or a brownie, or a glass of wine!

Thanks everyone for being here for me!

[madDawg228]

({) (})

:drink: :beer: :drink: :beer:

[georgeharrison]

I can see where you are coming from on this, and big hugs to you for feeling like you're in limbo. Remember, though, that material things don't bring happiness. Don't compare yourself to others with big homes or fancy cars. I went through that a little bit since we live in a condo, and gosh it would be nice to have a yard for Tman and Sadie, but we have so many blessings. Also, you don't know what kind of sacrifices or debt these others might be in for this lifestyle.

You, for sure, haven't let people down. Even if you had nothing else, you have those amazing boys who are SUCH GOOD KIDS. That's an accomplishment for sure.

I hope you get the answers about your nursing program soon. Until then, don't feel like you are selfish for quitting your job. You are bettering yourself and that's to your own benefit as well as your whole family.

KWPN

[jennlin]

:drink:

[kwpnjumper55]

I should know about this application by end of November. I don't have high hopes though, it's a lottery system and last time there were almost 400 applicants for 24 positions. I have better chances for spring start because there are 3 programs I'm applying for.

Thanks everyone. I know it will get better, I just am impatient

[Deleted]

BabyA and LB have great points!! H and I so often feel like failures...and we managed to finally find a nice house (but not in the "hot" neighborhoods like we wanted where many of our friends COULD afford to be) and H has a nice car. (Mine's been a bit banged up.) We have friends who take great amazing vacations regularly, and the only awesome one we've taken was our HM funded by his parents! However, we're both working rather dead-end jobs of no repute when we were both TAG students with so much "potential" growing up. I frequently struggle with feeling bad about myself and my lack of a satisfying work life considering I grew up thinking I'd be a surgeon.

I know it kind of sucks to be an adult working alongside HS kids at a retail gig, but you're sucking it up and being an adult to help with bills while waiting on school. You should ONLY have the option to feel badly if you had quit the better-paying job you hated and then refused to do anything to help out. And once you start school, there is so much involved, you wouldn't have had time for the original job.

Sometimes it also helps to count your blessings, and realize that YOU have things that OTHERS are jealous of! You have two darling boys while BabyA really wants a second child and I want even just one so you have something envy-worthy, too!

[sarack]

think of how incredible you're going to feel though when everything is all done and you're doing all of those things.

i sometimes feel this way too, and then remember that i've done everything in my life myself. i've worked hard and hard work pays off. whether my payoff is in 2012 or it's in 2024, i know when i get there it'll be incredible. also, when i'm feeling this way, i think of all of the other blessings in my life- my jobs, my intelligence, beauty, my husband, baby dog, confidence, my friends, family, ability to change my life if i want but know that i'm happy with how things are now.

i just feel like yes, things do get hard, but life is so much more than the hardships.. plus, once you're through it, you generally forget about it.

hope things start looking up soon. when you get frustrated, look at one of your babies and remember how blessed you are! it will all come to you soon!

[mkate710]

Big huge hugs to you. And a glass of good red

If nursing is what you're cut out to do, then you are doing the right thing. It's so much better than being settled into a career you're not really happy with, and constantly second guessing your career decisions. It will pay off big time down the road.

Vent here any time! It's why you have your nexties

[llh0211]

({) (})

I know it's got to be frustrating, but like others have said, in the end it will pay off. Try to focus on all the positive you have in your life... you have two amazingly cute little boys that you're able to stay home with. You are taking the steps to make things better for you & your family. It took A LOT of courage to leave a decent job, to follow your dream. That's not something a lot of people do. You are extremely brave to do that.

I completely understand how you feel. I'm definitely no where near where I thought I should be, or where my friends are. But, you know what? I'm doing what is best for me, and in another 5 years or so, it'll be SO worth it. Gotta keep the long term in mind.

Hugs, kwpn. This too shall pass.

[Deleted]

I don't have anything to add other than big hugs.

[tacocat]

Oct 19, 2012 13:58:27 GMT -5 kwpnjumper55 said:

I'm sorry, you don't need to read this but I feel like I'm in such a shitty place right now that I need to get it out. (Pardon moi francaise)

Right now I feel like I'm in limbo! I am waiting to get into a program and until then I am just in a craphole. I feel like I'm doing NOTHING with my life! A lot of my friends are buying gorgeous homes, are driving really nice cars, and have amazing jobs! I feel so jealous of them! We have a small starter home and both drive older Honda Civics. And NOTHING will change until I am done with nursing school and get a job because I was selfish and quit a perfectly decent paying job because I was unhappy and wanted to go back to school! ( holy run on)

I feel like crap because I have a BA and yet I work with a bunch of Highschool kids in order to help pay bills. I feel like I have let everyone down and sometimes I worry that I am a) depressed or b) dealing with the downfall of being raised with such high expectations. I feel like crying at least once a day and I don't really want to put my emotions on DH because he already takes the financial brunt of my decisions.

If you've made it this far, you deserve a cookie, or a brownie, or a glass of wine!

Thanks everyone for being here for me!

I feel you, I really do! Are you working there because of the hours and flexibility? Can you get a job in health care now? I know we are hiring in our Renton office. I know you are applying to school now but you could get some experience before?

Oh and ({) (})

[kwpnjumper55]

Oct 19, 2012 18:50:46 GMT -5 tacocat said:

Oct 19, 2012 13:58:27 GMT -5 kwpnjumper55 said:

I'm sorry, you don't need to read this but I feel like I'm in such a shitty place right now that I need to get it out. (Pardon moi francaise)

Right now I feel like I'm in limbo! I am waiting to get into a program and until then I am just in a craphole. I feel like I'm doing NOTHING with my life! A lot of my friends are buying gorgeous homes, are driving really nice cars, and have amazing jobs! I feel so jealous of them! We have a small starter home and both drive older Honda Civics. And NOTHING will change until I am done with nursing school and get a job because I was selfish and quit a perfectly decent paying job because I was unhappy and wanted to go back to school! ( holy run on)

I feel like crap because I have a BA and yet I work with a bunch of Highschool kids in order to help pay bills. I feel like I have let everyone down and sometimes I worry that I am a) depressed or b) dealing with the downfall of being raised with such high expectations. I feel like crying at least once a day and I don't really want to put my emotions on DH because he already takes the financial brunt of my decisions.

If you've made it this far, you deserve a cookie, or a brownie, or a glass of wine!

Thanks everyone for being here for me!

I feel you, I really do! Are you working there because of the hours and flexibility? Can you get a job in health care now? I know we are hiring in our Renton office. I know you are applying to school now but you could get some experience before?

Oh and

I would love to work a regular office hour job, but I have to drop and pickup d from preschool 4 days a week and most childcare is more than I can afford so I only work when DH is home or my parents can watch the boys.

[tacocat]

It will get better. The waiting sucks, but it will be worth it in the end!

Yeah, the positions that are open are 8:30-5pm, so pretty much standard office hours. Let me know if you do ever change your mind though.

[joenali]

We don't own a home. YOu have a one up on us!! Does that make you feel better?