@ (or lack thereof) :(

[georgeharrison]

I have recently become pretty good friends with a girl at my church. Her son and Tman are the same age and are friends. She also has a now 2 year old that I babysat 2 days/week all last school year. She is really sweet and has been a great friend to me lately...and I hope I have been to her. James and I don't tell many people about our IF struggles, but I did confide in her. She emailed me today and told me that she is 9.5 weeks pregnant. She said she's put off telling me to spare my feelings. I appreciate that she thought of my feelings, but it makes me sad that she felt like she had to do that. I'd hate to think that our situation took away from her joy even for a split second when she thought of telling me.

Oh yeah, and it makes me want to burst into tears with yet another of my friends getting pregnant with no issues...just whenever they feel like it where we are nearly beyond even hoping it will happen.

I think I'm going to buy some boots.

[emyinpink]

Hugs. Major thoughts. And go get yourself some fabulous boots!

[kwpnjumper55]

Ditto! And some really good coffee!

[georgeharrison]

Ordered the boots and have the coffee in front of me.

You know, one of the hardest things is that this isn't something that I can really share my feelings with James about. He seems to always act like I'm blaming him when I bring it up.

[karebear219]

Hugs! I'm glad you got your boots and coffee.

[InBetweenDays]

I'm sorry

[mkate710]

*** Hugs!! ***

I'm glad you got your boots. Hopefully you and your H can find a way to talk through things in a way that he knows you're not blaming him.

[tacocat]

({) (})

I know it is hard! I hope you guys are able to talk through it. He is probably just sensitive.

Love the boots though!

[georgeharrison]

It's just especially hard for him, because he wants to be able to "fix" it, and of course he cannot. It's not like he's not supportive, we talk about TTC a lot, but I know that when he finds out that someone we know is pregnant, it just reminds him this is something he can't fix.

[fiddles]

Big hugs babya! I know it's tough. If you ever need a little break away for girl coffee or pedicures or whatever...let me know!

[picksthemusic]

I'm so sorry.

I can't imagine what you're going through. I wonder if you can go to your OB/Gyn and see if they can do any simple testing on you? Maybe do an ultrasound or something? I think that there are a few tests that you can do that aren't IF related that can tell you a few things. Also, do you the ovulation pee sticks? They're fairly cheap on Amazon if I remember. That might help you to understand if your body is working well (not saying it's you - but more information is better than none), and are you temping your cycles? It might be helpful for you to know what's up with your body. Just because you have a period every month doesn't mean you ovulate (which I'm sure you know) - so I'd try gathering as much information about your body's current state as I could if I were in your shoes. At least that way you have a place to start, KWIM?

[georgeharrison]

Oct 22, 2012 10:52:40 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

I'm so sorry.

I can't imagine what you're going through. I wonder if you can go to your OB/Gyn and see if they can do any simple testing on you? Maybe do an ultrasound or something? I think that there are a few tests that you can do that aren't IF related that can tell you a few things. Also, do you the ovulation pee sticks? They're fairly cheap on Amazon if I remember. That might help you to understand if your body is working well (not saying it's you - but more information is better than none), and are you temping your cycles? It might be helpful for you to know what's up with your body. Just because you have a period every month doesn't mean you ovulate (which I'm sure you know) - so I'd try gathering as much information about your body's current state as I could if I were in your shoes. At least that way you have a place to start, KWIM?

Thanks for the reply Picks.

I did temp for about a year and everything was like clockwork. I did use the ovulation pee sticks and got a clear positive every month followed by an obvious temp spike a couple days later. My cycles were 26-30 days with the spike right in the middle every time. I eventually just stopped because everything looked just fine. I have talked to two different OBs and both of them said that since James's SA came back normal that the next step would be more invasive testing on me. James wants me to do it, but our insurance doesn't cover it. His SA was cheap and easy, but the testing for me, not so much. I did have bloodwork done and it was all normal. We are unexplained, and it sucks.

BUT, I have to try to remember that I do have this amazing boy and be more thankful for what I have than lamenting what I do not have.

[picksthemusic]

Oct 22, 2012 11:01:15 GMT -5 georgeharrison said:

Oct 22, 2012 10:52:40 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

I'm so sorry.

I can't imagine what you're going through. I wonder if you can go to your OB/Gyn and see if they can do any simple testing on you? Maybe do an ultrasound or something? I think that there are a few tests that you can do that aren't IF related that can tell you a few things. Also, do you the ovulation pee sticks? They're fairly cheap on Amazon if I remember. That might help you to understand if your body is working well (not saying it's you - but more information is better than none), and are you temping your cycles? It might be helpful for you to know what's up with your body. Just because you have a period every month doesn't mean you ovulate (which I'm sure you know) - so I'd try gathering as much information about your body's current state as I could if I were in your shoes. At least that way you have a place to start, KWIM?

Thanks for the reply Picks.

I did temp for about a year and everything was like clockwork. I did use the ovulation pee sticks and got a clear positive every month followed by an obvious temp spike a couple days later. My cycles were 26-30 days with the spike right in the middle every time. I eventually just stopped because everything looked just fine. I have talked to two different OBs and both of them said that since James's SA came back normal that the next step would be more invasive testing on me. James wants me to do it, but our insurance doesn't cover it. His SA was cheap and easy, but the testing for me, not so much. I did have bloodwork done and it was all normal. We are unexplained, and it sucks.

BUT, I have to try to remember that I do have this amazing boy and be more thankful for what I have than lamenting what I do not have.

No problem. The one test that I was thinking about for you was to see if you have a blockage in one of your tubes or something - I can't remember what it's called. But basically they put saline in your uterus to make sure that there aren't any blockages preventing your egg from being fertilized. Because you may be ovulating, but there could be something there (scar tissue, or something). Anyway, that's just what went through my head.

But I totally agree with you - you have a great kid who loves you and you guys are a great family.

[fiddles]

Oct 22, 2012 11:06:01 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

No problem. The one test that I was thinking about for you was to see if you have a blockage in one of your tubes or something - I can't remember what it's called.

HSG

[georgeharrison]

Oh, and btw, she emailed me this morning and said that after her husband, I was the second person that came to her mind. She is so sweet, but I HATE that she felt bad about it.

[picksthemusic]

Oct 22, 2012 11:21:39 GMT -5 fiddles said:

Oct 22, 2012 11:06:01 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

No problem. The one test that I was thinking about for you was to see if you have a blockage in one of your tubes or something - I can't remember what it's called.

HSG

That's it. Thank you!

[jennlin]

no advice that hasn't been said...just hugs!

[Deleted]

I have an idea of how you feel since I just found out friends are pregnant again with their second girl. I'm happy for them, but I'm hitting that stage where my second though is sadness, disappointment and pity for myself.

[y] for the boots and coffee!!

And it totally makes sense that your H gets sad to talk about it. They love us so much and want to "fix" anything that's wrong and it's extra-difficult when its something they can't have any control over.