CBH: Telling people

[Cheesecake]

No advice, just do what feels best for you and YH. After all, there's no obligation to tell anyone at any specific time, except for your insurance company
If you would prefer to wait to tell when you reach 2nd tri, that's totally fine as well, so I don't see how waiting until Christmas would be a problem.

Sent from my phone, please disregard typos

[HoneySpider]

It's really hard to figure this stuff out - I say just go with what feels right.

We told our parents and siblings yesterday at only 4 weeks, 6 days. We had to tell them all over the phone. I would much rather have told them in person, but we won't see my family until end of Nov and DH's family I don't know when. But we're going to a wedding this weekend and my friends are going to know what's up when I'm not drinking. I really didn't want my friends to know before family so we had to tell them. It' crazy how something like this can be so complicated sometimes!

[tarheels]

We've talked about it. If we had gotten pg last cycle, it would have been perfect to tell DH's entire giant family at Christmas because that would have been 12 weeks. Now Christmas will be at ~7 weeks and he still wants to tell. I don't want to tell until after 12 weeks - I just have fears of something going wrong and I don't need all of his aunts and cousins to know all that.

I expect I'll feel the same way about my family (just my mom and my grandparents to tell), so that'll just be a phone call since they live 1000+ miles away. I actually feel weird telling my mom and my grandparents - I'm still very much the little princess (drives me batty, actually), so changing that family dynamic will be weird. (Mom actually called me princess in public in front of a store clerk the last time she visited and I was like, "really mom? in public? I'm 30.")

[jewel]

Yep, it's weird. I have major anxiety just thinking about spreading the news.

I found out I was pregnant this past summer. I, unexpectedly, even felt like I didn't know what to say to my husband. I got all weird and just put the positive test on the bathroom counter and waited for him to see it, LOL. I intended to keep it a complete secret until we saw the heartbeat, and only tell a few people until after 12 weeks. I broke the news to my mom by telling her that I was in the middle of a miscarriage - not the reveal I had imagined. I actually wasn't planning to tell her at all, but she called me when I was all hopped up on medication and I had no filter.

The next time, I think I'll tell my mom right away, since she already knows we're trying. I'll probably tell a few close friends at 8 weeks, but I don't really trust anyone else to keep a secret, so everyone else will be told at 12. I'm just generally a private person and I hate to be the center of any attention, so this whole pregnancy thing definitely makes me anxious.

I doubt this was helpful in any way, but the moral of the story is - Do whatever feels right to you. It's about you, your husband, and your baby. And, you are not alone in your anxiety.

[winecheery]

Ideally I want to wait until 12 weeks.

I want to tell the most important people first. (H, mom, sisters, in laws, be sties, YOU GUYS) and then let everyone else find out gradually.

Realistically, with my job being so physical, if I have morning sickness at all, I'm possibly going to be outed that way I'm hoping I can combat it enough to slide by...but. That and exhaustion are just things I can't control, and I'm generally a perky person, so we'll see.

If people notice I might have to fib hugely and say I'm sick or something, to the vast majority of people at least. I will be thrilled to share it with people when it's "time" however, and I cannot wait to share it with H

[VillainV]

Honey, we broke and told a few people last night, for exactly the same reasons. People I work with are going to know pretty soon (a few already suspect...I got some weird looks yesterday when I mysteriously took myself off the flying schedule), and we felt that if THEY know, then we really want our parents and our sisters to know.

Also, realistically, we know that telling people won't cause anything bad to happen to the pregnancy, and keeping it secret won't protect the pregnancy.

It still feels weird having told people, seeing as how I don't find it real myself yet...

[rt2008]

Well, I've also started to think about telling people at Thanksgiving if we did get pg this month So you're not alone with that! I would probably only tell my mom and sister though since Thanksgiving would only be a couple weeks or so after I found out, if I was pg.

I don't have any good advice though. I was pregnant this summer and miscarried at 8 weeks. We didn't tell anyone (well, I told my three best friends), and I was going to tell our families after our first ultrasound at 8 weeks, but I started to miscarry right before. But I will say it was VERY hard to keep it in the first few week I knew. I ended up telling my mom and sister while I was miscarrying. Not the way I wanted that to go, obviously. Now, I"ll probably tell more people earlier, since most know I had a miscarriage anyway.

[FastHands]

I hear you. I desperately want this cycle to work out. My parents are far enough away that we only see each other a couple of times a year, and I will be there for Thanksgiving. Conveniently, my mom opted to do a quieter holiday (just my parents, me, and DH) rather than going to my aunt's for a big to-do with 25+ people who I might not want to tell so early. So that would be PERFECT. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but that's easier said than done. So I wouldn't say I have anxiety about it, but I'm really looking forward to it.

I also have to find a way to tell my BFF (who lives near my parents still), since the way she told me was so awesome.

[bronxgirl]

I was thinking about this recently, too. If we get PG this cycle I'd be abut 6 weeks at T'giving. We'll definitely tell my parents right away, but I'm not sure about telling my aunt and cousin. I guess we probably will.

[mkesweetie]

I love love love thinking of ways I will tell people! If anybody needs help coming up with an idea, just let me know. lol.

[FastHands]

swizz, is everyone staying at the same place? Or could you plan a breakfast out with just the immediate family?

[FastHands]

ooooh I see. I say if you're all local, go to an early breakfast with immediate family, or do it another day entirely. In your shoes I defintely wouldn't do it at SIL's house. She doesn't deserve it! lol