Random insecure moment

[gozf]

I need you to talk me down from this, mmkay? And let me be clear, I'm not all worked up. I'm not annoyed. I just have this little twinge in my tummy.

So, one of Thor's exes in back in town visiting. I haven't met her but she is supposed to be a lovely person. They're friends, and that's cool with me, too. He has good relationships with all of his exes, and I'm super close with exH. Everyone plays nice. I have no fear that there is anything going on. They're ancient history.

But guys. This girl is flat-out GORGEOUS. Like, stunning. And one of those naturally, effortlessly beautiful people. She's also brilliant. As in, has an advanced degree from a very prestigious university overseas. Oh, and she has some kind of really awesome, socially conscious, important type of job.

I cannot help feeling inferior. It's crazy. But I had this moment of thinking how I look like a compact little drag queen compared to her (seriously, you've seen my eye makeup), and how I almost went back to school but then got too lazy, and I feel like a turd.

I need to meet this person the next time she's in town, in order to demystify her. I'm usually really good about not comparing myself to other women, and I have healthily high self-esteem. But I'm being plagued by how extraordinary this girl seems!

GAH!


Don't quote this, please. I'm totally DDing later.

[doriswe]

I bet she smells bad....and has horrible grammar

I think it's normal....which obviously doesn't help. There's a reason Thor is with....you're beautifu, incredibly witty and an assload of fun.

[udscoobychick]

Thor picked you, not her. So, he obviously thinks you're way awesome-r than her. And that's what matters.

Oh, andplusalso, I'm pretty sure all of SO thinks you're way awesome-r than her, too. Even JM.

[bullygirl979]

GOZF...who is Thor with right NOW...hmmm???

[bullygirl979]

Oct 25, 2012 13:47:39 GMT -5 udscoobychick said:

Thor picked you, not her. So, he obviously thinks you're way awesome-r than her. And that's what matters.

Great minds think alike, scooby!

[dakotadangerdog]

I bet she has a ridiculously ugly laugh.

[gozf]

I know it, Doris. And thank you! He and I have both commented that our relationship is a lot less work than others we've been in. Which isnt to say that it doesn't take effort, but we sail along really nicely and without conflict.

I'm more right for him than the other people he's been with -- and vice versa. I know that. I'm just being a dummy!

[gozf]

Thanks guys! I needed this boost.

[bullygirl979]

It is totally normal to feel that way around someone who presents like that. But you need to remember that just because someone APPEARS perfect doesn't mean they are on the inside or behind closed doors.

[starburst604]

If she meets you, I guarantee she'll have the same sort of thoughts about you that you have about her. Like "Damn, Thor's new gf is gorgeous/fun/smart/talented and could she give me a lesson on applying eye makeup, even if I don't need to wear any!"

[gozf]

Oh, god. No makeup necessary with that one. Yeesh.

I take a LOT of work. I'm fairly hideous in the mornings. She probably doesn't have morning breath, or fart in her sleep.

[formerlyak]

Watch Bridget Jones' Diary. See the scene where the girl like the one you describe that Bridget is worried about turns out to be a lesbian. Because it is a great lesson in why we shouldn't get worked up or nervous if we don't know all the background. You know her outside and "on paper" attributes. You don't know her, kwim?

They tried. They didn't work for whatever reason. He is with you. Repeat this to yourself.

And Thor might like that you fart in your sleep. Fi likes that I do because then he feels like he can and it makes him more comfortable around me because I am "real."

[Deleted]

she has a penis

[achase123]

SO thinks you're totally awesomer than her. You are gorgeous, incredibly intelligent and VERY quick and witty. PLUS your rack is amazing. On a scale of 1-10 you're about a 98. And I get the feeling Thor is head of heels for you too. She's got nothing on you babe.

[Deleted]

There's a reason why they didn't work out, even if she is gorgeous.

[jojoandleo]

Maybe she kicks puppies and is a stage 5 clinger. Regardless, Thor wants you. He picked you, chose you, loves you! We all have those moments of insecurity. Put on a cute outfit/shoes/do your hair all fun and have a glass of wine.

Also- YOU are beautiful. You can try and down play it and be self-depreciating, but we have seen pictures. I would be insecure going up against a funny, beautiful, quirky (in the best way possible) girl like you.

[gozf]

It's not even that I worry about them rekindling anything. I really don't. I just feel like a downgrade! And that's a pointless thought. But it's true.

[doriswe]

You are not a downgrade....you are perfect for him. He meows at you for pete's sake!

((gozf))

[bullygirl979]

And I am sure that is EXACTLY what he was thinking when he decided to move in you and get serious with you.

Silly woman!

[gozf]

You people are the nicest.

[doriswe]

She's probably feeling just as insecure about you....because you're who he picked! And you're freaking fabulous!!!

[jojoandleo]

Oct 25, 2012 15:18:44 GMT -5 gozf said:

You people are the nicest.

In that crazy stalker way.

I get it. We ALL have those days. I popped the button off my favorite pair of jeans the other day and was depressed and fat feeling all day. Then, I decided to blame it on the cheaply made jeans rather than by J-Lo booty. (I also consumed copious amounts of alcohol and made my gay friends tell me I am pretty and thin.)

[formerlyak]

Fi has an ex who I was very insecure about -- tall, blonde, well traveled, lawyer (although having met her I can honestly say she is the dumbest lawyer I have ever met -- horrible conversationalist). They were still very good friends when he and I started dating. It quickly became apparent that she wanted the friendship with him because he was her "back up." When I finally met her (about a year in) it was right after he told her we were moving in together. You could tell when we met she was more nervous to meet me than I was to meet her. It actually became hard for her, because when she met me you could tell she realized she no longer had her "back up." She knew that what ever it is that I have is what fi wants -- I may not be perfect, but people who know us together will say I am perfect for him and vice versa. She could see that and she messaged me on facebook after to say just that.

Point? I'll bet she's just as nervous to meet you.

[blackkitty]

Nobody's perfect but you don't have to put her down to bring yourself up.
You are awesome and you are happy with who you are. That's all you need

[naeljun]

You are unbelievably gorgeous!!!

[gozf]

Oct 25, 2012 15:45:53 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Nobody's perfect but you don't have to put her down to bring yourself up.
You are awesome and you are happy with who you are. That's all you need

Oh, I have no interest in putting her down! I do, however, look forward to meeting her, so she's an actual person, not some weirdo, perfect fantasylady I've cobbled together in my mind, with the help of facebook!

[blackkitty]

Oct 25, 2012 15:54:52 GMT -5 gozf said:

Oct 25, 2012 15:45:53 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Nobody's perfect but you don't have to put her down to bring yourself up.
You are awesome and you are happy with who you are. That's all you need

Oh, I have no interest in putting her down! I do, however, look forward to meeting her, so she's an actual person, not some weirdo, perfect fantasylady I've cobbled together in my mind, with the help of facebook!

I'm glad that you don't want to put her down, I know that was suggested by others.
All it really means is that Thor has great taste in women. What you see in her that you think is great reflects the great things he sees in you too.

[wrathofkuus]

You're full of crap. Your beauty is all bone structure; how could it require makeup?

Anyway, I think this feeling is so normal that it makes me almost relieved that you're a real human instead of some kind of super-evolved alien being. Why'd they break up?

[achase123]

Oct 25, 2012 16:52:59 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

You're full of crap. Your beauty is all bone structure; how could it require makeup?

Anyway, I think this feeling is so normal that it makes me almost relieved that you're a real human instead of some kind of super-evolved alien being. Why'd they break up?

I was thinking the same thing...not that I want you to be insecure by any means, but it just means that you are HUMAN! I am impressed that you showed us this vulnerable side. It means a lot!

[gozf]

Aww. Guys.

They broke up ages ago. I mean, at least 5 years ago, likely more. It was her decision, and he told me it was because she was worried about his lack of a career path and his reluctance to live abroad. She has dual citizenship, is well traveled and has since lived in England and somewhere in South America. Currently, she's in Canada.

Andplusalso, I feel like I need makeup because of my really, really mediocre (read: blotchy and acne prone) skin.