And the IL drama begins!

[Pom]

Had you and H considered hosting Christmas? Of course, she is totally freaking ridic to inform you AFTER she posts in on FB. As for the peeing outside, I am sure my FIL will do this too, since he is super classy. Nothing to offer, just co-suffering, LOL.

[cjeanette]

Peed on your house? wtmf?

That has me riled up enough that being mean is my instinct. Like responding on the FB status that this was news to you and you would be drafting a potluck list for everyone to bring. GMAIL can bring the main dish

[dexteroni]

Post this comment: "Ha ha, it sounds like everyone got this memo but us! As much as we would LOVE to have Christmas here, we just don't have enough room. We'll work something out and update everyone as to where Christmas is actually being held. Can't wait to see everyone!" FGMIL probably didn't do anything wrong; she was just going by what she was told.

Then call FMIL (don't text) and tell her in far more stern terms that not only are you not hosting, you don't appreciate her volunteering you without asking, and to never do that again.

And maybe you should consider moving even farther away. lol.

[rubytue]

(})

Potluck and a yankee swap!

[Deleted]

If you let them get away with it, your future will be filled with incidents like this.

The choice is yours.

[Deleted]

I'd tell your H to deal with it and say no, sorry, not this year.

[dexteroni]

Oct 29, 2012 12:29:25 GMT -5 steph96 said:

How am I supposed to back out now?

And it's not backing out when you never agreed to it.

[Muddled]

Oh yeah. If you host Christmas now (whether you wanted to or not), you are setting yourself up for more of this.

Just say no. Call her out on this BS.

What has your FI said about it?

[chessie]

Oct 29, 2012 12:36:16 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Oct 29, 2012 12:29:25 GMT -5 steph96 said:

How am I supposed to back out now?

And it's not backing out when you never agreed to it.

This completely explan there was some sort of communication issue with the IL's. My IL's pulled this crap with me for a bbq had over the summer, they invited everyone on their side 60+ and only wanted 40 of our closet family/friends, we just told everyone straight out, it had to stay small. I would not feel obligated, this is completely on your IL's, sounds like they just wanted to set you up to look like a fool anyway.

[Mrs.Beagle]

You don't do anything. Your fiance grows a set of balls and handle this.

[Deleted]

Oct 29, 2012 12:42:13 GMT -5 Mrs.Beagle said:

You don't do anything. Your fiance grows a set of balls and handle this.

This exactly. I would 100% expect my husband to call his mother and straighten this shit right out.

[steph96]

Forget the potluck list, I dont want those people in my house. I have cream colored couches and super light tan carpet. Im not going to have my house ruined. Not to mention that those people have no respect and would have no problem going thru everything in my house.

Is it bad that I'm making FI deal with this? I'm sooo mad over this that I cant handle talking to anyone without flipping out.

[jene]

I would have your FI handle it. I can't believe your FMIL did that though. Ditto pp who said you may want to consider moving further away.

[steph96]

Oct 29, 2012 12:47:40 GMT -5 @lilly said:

Oct 29, 2012 12:42:13 GMT -5 Mrs.Beagle said:

You don't do anything. Your fiance grows a set of balls and handle this.

I am so happy you guys said this. I was really hoping it wasn't mine to handle! You would think she would have talked to him to begin with. Grrrrr.

This exactly. I would 100% expect my husband to call his mother and straighten this shit right out.

[pugz]

oh it is 100% his job to call them and tell them to back the fuck off

[kellbell191]

No, this is your FI's job to deal with and telling people no is absolutely ok.

[Muddled]

Oct 29, 2012 12:48:26 GMT -5 steph96 said:

Is it bad that I'm making FI deal with this? I'm sooo mad over this that I cant handle talking to anyone without flipping out.

Absolutely not. His family, his job.

And he had better be using I's and We's and no She's.

[SuziSaysDa]

I would pretend like I have not seen the FB post, respond to FMILs text with - you are not ready to offer your home to host, and let her deal with the FB fallout.

[newhomeowner]

Oct 29, 2012 13:17:41 GMT -5 suzubell said:

Have your FI straighten it out with his mother. If he won't back you 10000%, consider it a sign to run away fast. No way would I host in this situation.

Yes, this exactly! I'm sorry you're having to deal with this BS.

[aurora]

Oct 29, 2012 12:48:26 GMT -5 steph96 said:

Forget the potluck list, I dont want those people in my house. I have cream colored couches and super light tan carpet. Im not going to have my house ruined. Not to mention that those people have no respect and would have no problem going thru everything in my house.

Is it bad that I'm making FI deal with this? I'm sooo mad over this that I cant handle talking to anyone without flipping out.

You know, it doesn't even matter if you had a well-established banquet hall and a staff of cooks and servers on hand: nobody gets to decide that you're hosting an event except you and FI. Absolutely have him deal with this, but don't let him get into making excuses (couch, space, or whatever). Just, "We are not going to host Christmas, and we don't appreciate you volunteering us publicly on your Facebook. Please tell everyone that you made a mistake about the plan."

[ECB]

Oct 29, 2012 14:27:06 GMT -5 aurora said:

Oct 29, 2012 12:48:26 GMT -5 steph96 said:

Forget the potluck list, I dont want those people in my house. I have cream colored couches and super light tan carpet. Im not going to have my house ruined. Not to mention that those people have no respect and would have no problem going thru everything in my house.

Is it bad that I'm making FI deal with this? I'm sooo mad over this that I cant handle talking to anyone without flipping out.

You know, it doesn't even matter if you had a well-established banquet hall and a staff of cooks and servers on hand: nobody gets to decide that you're hosting an event except you and FI. Absolutely have him deal with this, but don't let him get into making excuses (couch, space, or whatever). Just, "We are not going to host Christmas, and we don't appreciate you volunteering us publicly on your Facebook. Please tell everyone that you made a mistake about the plan."

Definitely this. Don't make excuses. Just say "no". But say no! If you don't, this will not be the last time.

[EmilieMadison]

Are you sure your FI *didnt* tell them you'd host this year?

[steph96]

Oct 29, 2012 15:45:40 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Are you sure your FI *didnt* tell them you'd host this year?

Oh god no. He is even more livid than I am. During FMILs visit this past weekend, holiday plans were never even mentioned. We havent even responded from when they asked everyone what date works, so they dont even know that we are coming. This is just how his family is. I dont know how him or his sibling made it out normal and polite.

He said he will handle it, but I dont know if he has even had time to even check his phone today.

[mollz007]

I would say no flat out, and make HER tell everyone that christmas is not at your house. Or, if you do wanna have it at your house, i like the suggestion of doing a potluck thing.

As for the peeing thing, I have nothing to say, but I feel ya. My ILs are quite classy as well. 8-D

[AAM2012]

Please do NOT set yourself up for this stress!! I got suckered into doing both thanksgiving and Christmas one year and even with just 10 people it was still the most stressful time and I'll never do it again!

[dexteroni]

OK, everyone's advice is better than mine. FAR better to have your FI deal with it private than for you to deal with it publicly on FB. I have no business participating in crappy IL posts. Brain fart on my part.

[thatgirl]

Agree with above posts. This is your FI problem to resolve. This is a great test of your future life together. If he can not man up you have some decisions to make about your life.
PS- shut down your FB account, people over the age of 12 need to spend more energy on real-life relationships and communication.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2012 9:11:21 GMT -5 thatgirl said:

PS- shut down your FB account, people over the age of 12 need to spend more energy on real-life relationships and communication.

[cjeanette]

Oct 30, 2012 9:11:21 GMT -5 thatgirl said:

PS- shut down your FB account, people over the age of 12 need to spend more energy on real-life relationships and communication.

[Deleted]

I'm glad to hear your DH is on the same page as you - hopefully he handles things quickly and gets this sorted out.

They sound like fun