Help me make my next move: quit vs. stay

[orangeblossom]

The time has come for me to make some decisions about what to do next for work.

As background, I have been working away from DH for almost two years (MM helped with that decision too). I get health insurance but nothing else, and have been putting money in an IRA in the meantime.

To keep it less confusing:

City A: where I'm currently working and where I grew up
City B: Potential City (where DH and I used to live)
City C: where DH and our house is

DH was looking in City A and City B, and hasn't really had much luck, though he's had lots of recruiting calls for places we don't want to go.

Fast forward to a month or so ago, his job in City C is getting serious about him doing some higher level management training (he is already a manager). Therefore, it looks like it will be better for DH to stay with his current company. This leads me to my current question: What should I do?

My "contract/agreement" is up January 31st, though it can be renewed if mutually agreed upon. I am supposed to give an answer in December. Technically, I can leave before then, as it's a very vague "leave on or before 1/31" statement.

Our marriage isn't suffering per se, but obviously being together would definitely be better. I just don't see any growth in this position. Based on what I've seen this office is not good at making people permanent (as in they don't), but they talk a good game about building up the office. They would, however, be in a tight spot if I left, though I am not letting that sway me. Part of the reason the team has gotten so small is the management style and the consistent use of fellows.

All of that said, would you quit and if so, when?

If I do quit, I'm considering going out at the holidays (just so I can be done with the quarterly tax business), but then think I can suck it up to January 31st.

Alternatively, I can do a lot of work from home, but since I'm not permanent, I'm not technically allowed to do so. I've thought about asking to do that, but am on the fence about it.

I would prefer to have another position before quitting, but that just may not be feasible, and I feel like if I do that it will always be about waiting for "xyz" before I can get back to DH.

DH and I can manage on his income, though I would look for something part-time at least (while looking for full-time work) just to help bring some money in.

I've left some things out, but will be happy to answer more questions. Any advice, suggestions, things I'm not thinking of are welcome.

[ijack]

I would ask to work from home and if they say no then I'd quit. Do you get any sort of incentive for staying through 1/31?

[orangeblossom]

Oct 30, 2012 11:46:19 GMT -5 ijack said:

I would ask to work from home and if they say no then I'd quit. Do you get any sort of incentive for staying through 1/31?

No incentive. They benefit from me being there. See this is the problem, I feel at this point, they are the only ones who benefit from me being there (of course I benefit from having a job)

We've got two people doing details right now. One of which I've become chummy with, and she was stating that the other person doing the detail (our temporary director) was really saying that I should be doing and getting more, and am really the person with the subject matter expertise and the only person in our office who has actually worked on/and with my topic areas.

[orangeblossom]

Oct 30, 2012 11:48:58 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

Have you been job searching in city C (or other cities)? Can you make it long-term on his income in City C if you quit your job and move back there, and then can't find another job (even part-time)?

I have not been searching in City C as much. Now that DHs company is talking more seriously about things, I plan to look more.

I can talk to my old job and see what's available there, and go from there.

Yes, we could make it long-term, though I would feel much more confident with a job. He make about 15K more than when we first moved there.

[ijack]

Then I would write up a proposal to have you work from home, including you being an asset and subject matter expert. I don't know how far your H is, but if it's reasonable for you to come into the office once a week/month or whatever you may want to include that too. Present it to them and if they say no then you can quit. I don't really see being away from your H as a long term solution and it sounds like they need you more than you need then.

[dexteroni]

Oct 30, 2012 12:05:54 GMT -5 ijack said:

Then I would write up a proposal to have you work from home, including you being an asset and subject matter expert. I don't know how far your H is, but if it's reasonable for you to come into the office once a week/month or whatever you may want to include that too. Present it to them and if they say no then you can quit. I don't really see being away from your H as a long term solution and it sounds like they need you more than you need then.

Agree. Then if they say no, you've at least given it a shot. And who knows, they may agree to at least some part-time work. You don't know unless you ask.

[orangeblossom]

Oct 30, 2012 12:05:54 GMT -5 ijack said:

Then I would write up a proposal to have you work from home, including you being an asset and subject matter expert. I don't know how far your H is, but if it's reasonable for you to come into the office once a week/month or whatever you may want to include that too. Present it to them and if they say no then you can quit. I don't really see being away from your H as a long term solution and it sounds like they need you more than you need then.

Thanks for the advice. I think I will do the proposal. I can get here easily once/month, and even once/week would be tolerable.

See, this is where I am, I do feel like I'm more of an asset to them, than them to me. The first time I said that out loud, I thought, man that's kind cocky, but then a coworker said it's not cocky when it's true. I've definitely outgrown the position, but like everyone else would like to have something before leaving.


It's slightly frustrating, because before coming I was told they were so excited to have me, couldn't believe I left my current position for this job, etc, but the experience has just been so so, for a multitude of reasons.

Part of it is my direct supervisor and I have a so/so relationship (though now I just put on to get on) and part of it is, I think the person that runs the whole office would rather permanently hire senior level staff, while keeping a running door of temps/fellows at lower positions and then doesn't see that people are either not completing their year commitment, leave right at at year, or don't complete their second year. Of all the of the fellows only 1 out of 6 has completed a second year or more.

[orangeblossom]

Oct 30, 2012 12:09:45 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

If one of the options is the DC area, I vote there. This is without reading what you posted. I will go read and come back with a real response.

I'll PM you.

[noodleoo]

I'd quit before the holidays. Other posters had good advice about trying the work from home, but based on what you are saying I doubt they'll go for it. It also sounds like you don't really like your job anyway, in which case I'd get out sooner than later if you don't really need the money. I'd be pretty sad living away from my H for 2 years and I'd rather get back soon and particularly before the holidays and maybe take some time off and then start looking seriously for a new job in Jan.

[limey]

You're not being cocky. It's called leverage. Use it.

And start aggressively looking for jobs in City C.

[Deleted]

I would also try the work from home route. If that shoot that down then I'd quit before the holidays and begin looking seriously in City C.

[orangeblossom]

Thanks for all of the advice. I really appreciate it.

I love the topic area I work in, it's just the switch to the policy has been so so There's actually a future project that we've talked about that I wouldn't mind working on, but I don't want to work on it at the same level I am now.

Again, thanks. I'll give an update when some decisions have been made.