Costs of caring for parents

[niq]

Mom is 61 and diabetic. She can't work and has no assets other than her house, which is paid off but there's a $30K HELOC. My sister & I got her to apply for disability but even if she gets it, it's not clear that the benefits will cover even her regular monthly expenses.

So we need to figure how much it will cost to take care of her as she gets older. I have no idea how to do this. Does anyone have any experience with this kind of situation, or who has some idea of what her regular expenses might be, including health care not covered by Medicare/Medicaid, home care, etc.?

[doobeedoo]

I do have some experience in this area, but I doubt my costs/expenses would be much help to you. My mom has dementia and has not been able to care for herself for many, many years. However, they have many assets and my dad was her primary caregiver until he got sick himself. So, her initial costs were paid for out of her assets, now out of joint assets, without touching hte house.

If your mom can't work, why not? And if she really cannot work, then she should absolutely qualify for Disabilty. I believe once disability kicks in, you need to wait for 2 years to get Medicare (don't quote me on that), so time is of the essence.
Medicare pays for the vast majority of mom's medical expenses, including her hospice care now. But we pay 100% out of pocket for her assisted living per month...which is a staggering amount annually.

You may want to consult an elder attorney who has some background dealing with these issues. But I think selling the house might be necessary, if her disability check does not cover her monthly expenses. Can you look into her moving in with you or a family member. Or, if she is still able to live independently, can she live in a cheap(er) place once the house is sold?

[niq]

Oct 30, 2012 15:36:08 GMT -5 doobeedoo said:

If your mom can't work, why not? And if she really cannot work, then she should absolutely qualify for Disabilty. I believe once disability kicks in, you need to wait for 2 years to get Medicare (don't quote me on that), so time is of the essence.
Medicare pays for the vast majority of mom's medical expenses, including her hospice care now. But we pay 100% out of pocket for her assisted living per month...which is a staggering amount annually.

You may want to consult an elder attorney who has some background dealing with these issues. But I think selling the house might be necessary, if her disability check does not cover her monthly expenses. Can you look into her moving in with you or a family member. Or, if she is still able to live independently, can she live in a cheap(er) place once the house is sold?

She can't work because ... well, that's can of worms I'm just not going to get into. Let's just assume that she won't ever earn much money again.

We found her an attorney who is helping with her disability claim on contingency. Medicare kicks in 2 years from the date they SSA determines she was disabled (we are claiming she was disabled as of mid-2008 when she was in a car wreck). So if things go well she will get a few thousand dollars in back payments and be eligible for Medicare immediately.

The big unknown for us is OOP health care costs and other elder care costs (home aides, SNF's, assisted living, nursing home, hospice, etc.). I have no idea what's covered and typically how many years someone ends up needing that level of care.

[fuddyduddy]

This may be cost-prohibitive, but have you looked into taking out a long-term care insurance policy out on her? Splitting the premiums with your sister might be more manageable than paying out-of-pocket for additional expenses.

I'm not sure who would be best to talk to about those costs. You could try calling local assisted living places and the like to see if they can give you some input or refer you somewhere.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2012 16:08:06 GMT -5 fuddyduddy said:

This may be cost-prohibitive, but have you looked into taking out a long-term care insurance policy out on her? Splitting the premiums with your sister might be more manageable than paying out-of-pocket for additional expenses.

I'm not sure who would be best to talk to about those costs. You could try calling local assisted living places and the like to see if they can give you some input or refer you somewhere.

Exactly what I was going to reply. My parents and my husband's parents have purchased policies, and did it in their 50s and it was a very reasonable expense. Well worth it given the costs of elder care these days.

[doobeedoo]

Re: LTC policies, they say they're best for people with some assets but not the wealthy. The rationale behind that is that people who are poor will ultimately qualify for Medicaid more quickly and people who are rich can essentially "self-insure" with their assets. That said, I doubt her mom would qualify if she is already disabled and/or diagnosed with a disease. Of course, it is worth looking into.
As far as OOP costs, I can shed some light on that. We used home aides for my mom for a few years (showering, getting her dressed, keeping her company, feeding her lunch, NOT nursing care) and it ranged in price from $12-$25 an hour. Now that she is in an assisted living facility, we pay approximately $6k per month for everything other than prescriptions. If she were to require more extensive nursing care, she could go into a skilled nursing facility, which would cost anywhere from $8k to 10k+ per month, depending on the facility. The ones I would consider going to are at least 10k per month around here. And even then, not so wonderful.
OP, look into Medicaid. If your mom truly doesn't have any assets other than her house and truly cannot work, Medicaid might be a potential solution. Medicaid will pay for skilled nursing care in a facility, if/when that becomes a possibility. They may even pay for some in-home care, but I am not sure about that. I do not know how hard it is to get on Medicaid, but it seems to me your mom might qualify now or in the not so distant future.

[SusanBAnthony]

Hospice is always free with Medicare/Medicaid.

[niq]

Oct 30, 2012 18:18:32 GMT -5 doobeedoo said:

OP, look into Medicaid. If your mom truly doesn't have any assets other than her house and truly cannot work, Medicaid might be a potential solution. Medicaid will pay for skilled nursing care in a facility, if/when that becomes a possibility. They may even pay for some in-home care, but I am not sure about that. I do not know how hard it is to get on Medicaid, but it seems to me your mom might qualify now or in the not so distant future.

Will do. She can't qualify until next year (her home state makes it hard to qualify until you hit 62), and even after that she needs lots of doctor's notes to quality for home care or nursing home care. But it's good to know that there is a backstop even if she loses the disability case.