Once again, I am annoyed at my family

[ridethelightning]

with regards to my grandmother.

This is a long vent, sorry.

She went to the rehab portion of the nursing home a few months ago. This is the second time she has been. We have known the date she would be home (tomorrow) since she went there.

She has to have someone sit with her everyday. Not for the entire day, but someone needs to be there in the morning when she wakes up to take her blood pressure, to make sure she eats her meals and drinks her water (she's stubborn), and just be in and out in case she passes out. Basically, 4-6 hours a day. My mom arranged for a paid sitter, but she can't start until the middle of June, so family is supposed to be pitching in until then.

There are 2 daughters, one son, 4 girl grandchildren, and 2 boys (not in the area). One aunt and myself are the only ones who have a full time job at the moment (2 of the girls are teachers, one is a stay at home mom.) I also live an hour away.

She comes home tomorrow. I'm working all day, the other girls are taking their kids to the zoo, the son is on vacation. That only leaves my mom to be there when she gets home.

I'm annoyed at that, because I imagine she would like it if a few people were there to visit her when she gets home. If that were the only thing though, they might get a pass. But no, they are all "booked up" for the next 2 weeks. That leaves my mom, and my husband when he's not working, to take up all the slack. Oh, and me on the weekends. How about you selfish assholes unbook yourselves and help out? I'm sorry it would eat into your 3 month summer vacation, and you would miss one or two trips to the beach or pool.

[Deleted]

Ugh. This happened to a friend of mine and her mom did all the work. I don't think there is really an easy way to solve this. I'm sorry At least it's only for a month, right? It's times like this when family shows their true colors.

[darkling_glory]

This is so hard. It is really tough because many times it's not that family is necessarily being inconsiderate - to them it's terrible to see that their family member needs so much help and it makes them want to look away from it. Pretend it isn't happening. Hopefully people will come around.

[ridethelightning]

May 22, 2012 13:30:19 GMT -5 darkling_glory said:

This is so hard. It is really tough because many times it's not that family is necessarily being inconsiderate - to them it's terrible to see that their family member needs so much help and it makes them want to look away from it. Pretend it isn't happening. Hopefully people will come around.

In normal cases, maybe. In this case, it's pure self-centeredness. These are the most self centered people in the world. They truly don't consider what needs to be done, when it comes to family members. They will, on the other hand, rush to help other people, like their friends. When my mom had her bad wreck, and I was balancing college, a full time job which I had to take 2 weeks off unpaid, and caring for her fulltime, no one offered to help. I had to call her sister in law to sit with her so I wouldn't miss so many classes I had to drop out. That was the only help I got. And there was no doubt she was going to be fine, she just couldn't move due to her broken neck (not bad) and sternum.

When I had pneumonia, no one came to check on me or my mom, who had to take care of me full time, since my husband was out of town working. But, when someone else in the community had pneumonia, they rushed to cook meals to take over there, etc.

[louietunes]

I'm sorry, will the zoo suddenly disappear after tomorrow? I'm pretty sure Grandma coming home is a little bit more important than dragging the kid around a park that specific day. They should go help and say hi, at the very least. Teach the kids a sense of family responsibility.

[darkling_glory]

Oh geez! That is terrible! I wish that they would help more. There are plenty of other days to go to the zoo!

[Bridey]

At least you will have no regrets in the future if something should happen to her. They will have Karma to look forward to.

[ridethelightning]

May 22, 2012 13:47:10 GMT -5 Bridey said:

At least you will have no regrets in the future if something should happen to her. They will have Karma to look forward to.

This is what I tell my mom all the time. We all do whatever our conscience will let us get away with.

[Trouble]

I know what you are going through and it is the most aggrivating thing in the world. My husband, who lived an hour away, was the only one who used to take his grandparents to all their medical appts, even though a majority of thier children lived next door to them, and had nothing to do. He would also be out with them for like 10 hours, go home and then go to work for another 8.

[lizo11]

May 22, 2012 14:18:18 GMT -5 ridethelightning said:

May 22, 2012 13:47:10 GMT -5 Bridey said:

At least you will have no regrets in the future if something should happen to her. They will have Karma to look forward to.

This is what I tell my mom all the time. We all do whatever our conscience will let us get away with.

This is all very true. Though it sucks that you all have to pick up the burden from their slackasses.