Estranged parent contact- WWYD?

[cjeanette]

I wouldn't open the lines of communication unless you wanted him back in your life. If extended family gave him this much info they can let him know you are safe.

[jennistarr1]

I kind of agree with both people who have responded...so I guess it depends on your level of comfort. I think the stronger message of "leave me alone" is no response.

[Deleted]

If you don't want to contact him, do you think something subtle like updating your profile picture to a new one of you and the baby or just the baby would send a message that you're okay (because if you weren't okay, you'd be dealing with things other than your profile picture) without making actual contact with him?

[rubytue]

I went down that road a few months ago, and it really did a number on me. Depression, stress, immune system issues. I will never do it again. I say let sleeping dogs lie.

The good news is I now just laugh at the delusional email I still get from my mother.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't write back, mostly because I know I wouldn't be strong enough to not respond again if a firm but polite rebuff of correspondence is met with pleading, criticism, guilt, etc. Assuming your extended family knows you're okay he likely already knows you are.

[mbcdefg]

I personally wouldn't reply if you are 100% opposed to letting him back into your life in any way, even if he cleans up his act. Your extended family would tell him if something bad had happened to you.

It IS nice that he's reaching out, sure, but like you said it sounds like an opening into getting back into your life. It's up to you if you want to allow him that - if you can't handle that (right now, or ever), don't allow him the opening.

[Deleted]

If you don't want to let him back into your life--ignore it. Whoever is keeping him updated can let him know you're ok.

[Deleted]

I would not respond and would block him from sending me any future messages.

[Deleted]

Ditto CJ.

I went through something similar with my estranged father a few years ago. He sent me a FB friend request after having zero contact for 15 years. I was livid and felt the need to let him know this via private messages. Alas, he pissed me off even more with the back and forth that ensued.

Save yourself from the headache and do not respond.

::hugs::

[Deleted]

I haven't seen my bio dad in forever, but if he contacted me on FB I would ignore it and carry on with life. I feel like even saying "please don't contact me" would be more than I could handle. I'd hate to open the lines of communication and actually acknowledge him, because I don't think he deserves it. Trust your gut though.

[Deleted]

I would not respond.