I saw the therapist today. I actually liked her fine, and felt totally comfortable telling her what was going on with me - both present and past/family issues. She diagnosed me as having a "major depressive episode" brought on by exogenous factors. Essentially life kicked my ass. She recommended antidepressants and got me in to see the psychiatrist there next week (instead of mid December) so he can evaluate me and prescribe something. I will be seeing her every 2 weeks after that for as long as needed for CBT along with the meds.
I felt a million times better after I left even though we didn't really do anything except assess what has been happening.
On another note, I'm struggling with my husband's reaction. Or non-reaction, actually. He isn't NOT supportive but he isn't really saying much of anything. I don't want to let how I feel NOW complicate my relationship but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed in his lack of response. He basically said "she did all this after only talking to you for an hour?" and then "oh, well...good, then". And that was it. It kind of makes me sad even though I know we are both just worn down by life lately. I'm guessing in my mind what he is thinking and that's probably worse than what he's actually thinking. He probably just thinks along the lines of "a doctor is handling it, I don't know what else I could do for her" kind of thing. Or maybe he is annoyed but doesn't want to say that.... I don't know. What he could do for me is be sympathetic and reassuring that he still loves me even though I've been so crazy lately. I'm reluctant to bring it up inside of how I currently feel - like maybe I should wait till I feel better to decide if my husband is really an ass or not.
I know he is/has been overwhelmed and very sleep deprived (due to his job) as well. Sigh. Baby steps I guess.
Thanks for all the support though - for those who had sent me PMs I actually just saw them today (ProBoards fail). I replied. Thank you.
Sorry about your dh's non-committal reaction. Could it be he just feels bad that he was unable to help or thinks he should have seen how much you were struggling? I know my husband is a "fixer" and really just doesn't understand those "I need cuddles & love not a solution" situations.
I know that my husband is generally supportive, but he would have a hard time not knowing what to say either. I hope that's all it is and he becomes more articulate as he sees you feeling better.
I'm glad you found a good therapist. I would give your husband some more time to respond. Actions speak louder than words and sometimes I know words fail my H. I hope he gives you the support you need and don't be afraid to ask for it.
Also, my H would have no clue how to react in this situation. I was really down the other day and he told me to "be happy." Ummm...ok? I think it's normal for men to underestimate the severity of the situation and to have no idea how to be supportive.
Thanks for updating. I am glad to hear that you are going to get the help you need. Regarding your husband, my guess is that he just doesn't know how to handle it or is having a hard time understanding exactly what you have been going through. I would talk to him and let him know what you need from him. If it doesn't change, you can safely call him an ass
I am glad things are looking up! My H had similar reactions when I went to a counselor after an anxiety attack. He wasn't UNsupportive, he just didn't know what to say. Maybe a nice conversation where you say something like, "I know you're going to be dealing with more around here since I'll be needing more time off, and I'll be dealing with a lot as well. Let's make sure we are both totally open and honest about what we need from each other and make sure we support each other as much as we can." And then you can lead into what you need from him.
Post by whitemerlot on Nov 1, 2012 18:57:05 GMT -5
I'm glad you got in right away. I agree with the pps that it's sometimes hard for my husband to know what to say in situations like this. Maybe he just needs a little time and sleep.
haha. Yeah. He is definitely all action, little words. I think he is not really sure how to respond yet. I wouldn't be surprised if he started doing things to make life easier for me without making a big deal out of it. I'll reserve ass-judgement for a later date
Could your husband come with you to one session? That might be really helpful. One of my first sessions with Ron (my awesome therapist) was designed to be with DH so we could all go over the plan/how he could be supportive/etc.
I will ask about this!
I am feeling really sad for the lady in the other thread. I cannot imagine what she is going through right now
I'm so glad you got to see someone and it's alraedy helping you feel a little better. I know being proactive about any situation that gets you down can help a lot - that first step out of the hole.
My husband has been through depression and addiction and is VERY good at talking about things like that - he's even better than I am... I know most men are not good at talking about feelings, etc --- so maybe your DH just doesn't know WHAT to say - i know sometimes I have a hard time thinking of what to say/ask my DH when we have discussed depression, etc.
I think your dh going to a session is a GREAT idea - I went to one with my DH (when we were dating) to help myself understand everything he was going through, and how/why therapy helped him, and how i could support that.
I think bringing H to therapy or just talking to him is key. He cant read your mind. And if you leave it, you may just get madder at him. And I am glad you are on a good path.