The attorneys came to an agreement right before our hearing started...basically, we all approved my twatish aunt to be the executor, however she is to be supervised. No disbursements of the estate can be made without a court order. We still need to get a plan together as far as the trust goes, but I spoke with our attorney before we left and let him know that I'm 100% okay with letting the house go, so long as we ensure my grandmother is taken care of. He said that that'll make things much easier b/c he's pretty sure that the trust is going to end up being a big deal to Aunt and Uncle Twat.
Neither of them said a word to me or my mom, but I absolutely loved that she went to court in her Sunday best...torn up, grass stained jeans and tennis shoes that had to have been 20 years old. And here I was, freaking out that my skirt didn't cover my brace.
I'm so sorry you're going through this crap. And I"m VERY glad everything has to be court approved. It may slow some things down, and your aunt may figure some things just aren't worth the hassle of court for.