I don't know how I feel about my boy's diet at DC

[sewpinkgal]

I may be in the minority, but that doesn't look that bad to me. I'd prefer more fresh fruit and no banana bread, but that isn't that different than what we give J at home. Babies need the carbs/starches - it's not like when you or I are watching our calories and such. They're growing at such a rapid rate that they need those grains.

[sewpinkgal]

Also, are you withholding cheese due to pedi rec? I know they all differ on what they recommend, but we started giving cheese at 9 months and you name it, he's tried it (swiss, cheddar, cream cheese, monterey jack, etc). It can be another good source of protein.

[sewpinkgal]

I say this with love, but you need to not project your (and your husband's) food issues onto DS. We just had a nutrition lecture at our parent ed group and she specifically pointed out that good ol mac n cheese is a complete protein. Rice and beans - complete protein. Bread and grains - necessary for health and development. I get not wanting that to be ALL he eats, but as part of a healthy diet, it's good for him.

If you want to meet them in the middle, maybe send some addt'l fresh fruit/veggies, but I really don't think their menu is that bad.

[froggy76]

Cheez-its?? Yeah, that kinda sucks. But I don't get why you don't give him starches, either. I would just try to encourage your DC to come up with some healthier options.

[sewpinkgal]

Nov 2, 2012 22:54:39 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Nov 2, 2012 22:49:47 GMT -5 sewpinkgal said:

Also, are you withholding cheese due to pedi rec? I know they all differ on what they recommend, but we started giving cheese at 9 months and you name it, he's tried it (swiss, cheddar, cream cheese, monterey jack, etc). It can be another good source of protein.

Pedi said in small doses ok. My bigger concern with bananas, cheese, rice, etc are that he is majorly prone to constipation & these foods can aggravate that.

Okay, well that makes sense then. I'd make sure he gets lots of "juice" fruits at home - orange, peach, blueberries, pears, apples, etc. These were all things we had to stay away from when J had the GI bug because they can lead to looser stool.

[ijack]

Nov 2, 2012 22:55:09 GMT -5 sewpinkgal said:

I say this with love, but you need to not project your (and your husband's) food issues onto DS. We just had a nutrition lecture at our parent ed group and she specifically pointed out that good ol mac n cheese is a complete protein. Rice and beans - complete protein. Bread and grains - necessary for health and development. I get not wanting that to be ALL he eats, but as part of a healthy diet, it's good for him.

If you want to meet them in the middle, maybe send some addt'l fresh fruit/veggies, but I really don't think their menu is that bad.

This. N is in the 12% and he's not even a year old - now is not the time to worry about him overeating. He needs fats and carbs and proteins to be healthy. I get that processed food isn't your idea of good food, I agree. But it's better to expose him to all tastes (like mashed potatoes) now and let him make the decisions, instead of having them be a forbidden food and him wanting them just because you won't let him have them.
I know food issues suck, I deal with different ones every day. Hugs.

[starlily]

I agree with sewpinkgal. Kids have different dietary needs and I think you & your H are projecting onto him.

My kid eats stuff at daycare that I rarely serve at home (juice, animal crackers, hash browns, etc.). I figure that in the long run, serving healthy food at home and modeling good habits myself will be more important than fighting the 1/2 cup of juice she gets twice a week at daycare.

Fwiw, my mom tried to control my food choices when I went through puberty and it completely backfired.

[Deleted]

I wish my kids (2 younger) would eat half that stuff. They'd eat the waffle, crackers, Mac n cheese & nothing else. I dont think it's bad at all if he'll eat it. Id kill for my kid to eat an apricot, meatloaf, pineapple. I've seen nutritionists for my kids who are not nearly that small (then again DH & I are both built huge) & from what they've said, they'd be ok with this stuff by & large.

[starlily]

Just saw that thing about the cookie...

One of the cutest things I heard about from our first dcp was the first (and only I think) time they had a cookie as their afternoon snack. J wouldn't stop saying "mmmmm" after every bite. The visual of that still cracks me up.

Really, it's ok to let him have the occasional treat.

[sewpinkgal]

Farmer - I'm convinced that babies have all different appetites. J is typically not a huge eater. We offer healthy stuff and he eats what he wants. If I think he is short on calories, I offer a food pouch, which he may or may not eat. (Even my pedi said thumbs up to this approach). There are other babies in our parent ed group that eat ALL THE THINGS. And they are not these huge gigantic babies - they're proportionally well within normal range.

I really hope that you're able to find some peace with all of this and just roll with the food stuff. At this age, I'd be more concerned with exposing him to as much as possible, as with most kids, picky eating is just over the horizon. Hugs.

[starlily]

And my parents didn't let me eat to my hearts content, and I also ended up with weight issues.

There are no guarantees as to how he'll be years from now. Or heck, even months from now. J used to eat all the things. Then she went on a dinner strike. Then there was a carb phase, followed by a veggie pouch phase. Now she's in a cheese phase. His tastes and preferences are going to be changing constantly. Right now I think your focus should just be offering him a variety of nutritious foods. With a small cookie thrown in every now and then.

[UnderProtest]

Please don't project your food things onto your baby. First of all, you look great. Your husband can go eff himself if he thinks you need to lose weight. Second, kids have different needs and 12% seems low to begin with and they drop weight when they start walking and running. Other than the cheez its, that menu doesn't sound horrible, I would just try to offer more fresh fruit and vegetables at home. And my ped was talking about how she restricted her kid from sweets to the point that the kid gorged herself on cake at a party and got sick. Don't restrict to that point. It's unhealthy for all of you.

[Deleted]

Babies eat an incredible amount! I am amazed at what DD eats sometimes. She's a completely healthy weight. You should use his weight/height ratio as a guide about whether he's eating "too much." It sounds like he absolutely is not. He's also only 9 mos - it's a really *good* sign he will eat anything at that age. That may change as he gets even a bit older.

I understand some of your hestitation about what he is getting at daycare - it really is hard to set good eating habits. At that age DD ate mostly fruits and vegetables and few starchy carbs, but that was in part because she was home. I will say that even so she LOVES bread and crackers now. It's not like you're going to hide them forever. We just try to make sure it's balanced and that she eats so other good things too. And you never know - we had pizza and salad for dinner tonight. DD (2) refused to eat the pizza and only wanted lettuce( she also had some chickpeas that i offered her). I think the best thing you can do is offer a lot of good choices.

[cilantro]

I don't know how to say this without sounding overly critical, but it just sounds really sad to have a baby on a low carb diet with a father who might flip out if they ever enjoy a cookie. Good luck, though, I know I will struggle, too, when the time comes.

[Deleted]

Ditto pp about babies having different dietary needs than adults so I won't go into that.

The other part of this is his activity level which will *skyrocket* as soon as he starts walking/running. Truly. A lot of pudgier babies start slimming down around a year because they suddenly start burning so many calories. Activity level is also something you and your H can model and encourage at home. Make sure he gets outside to run around every night after daycare. When he gets old enough, put him in activities like Little Gym and swimming and soccer to encourage any nascent athletic interests he might have. Plan to encourage him to do a different sport every season (which has benefits beyond physical health). I think this will end up having a much bigger impact on his health and weight than trying to control whether he has juice sometimes at daycare or a couple pieces of candy on Halloween.

Lastly, I just want to say I totally know where you're coming from with the food issues. I really, really struggle with not projecting my anorexic tendencies and problems with food onto the kids. I worry a lot about doing this to DD in particular. I just try to remind myself that they're at a healthy weight for their height, they're very, very active, and it's NORMAL to eat a variety of foods (including some fats and carbs) and to ENJOY food. I don't want them to grow up with my issues, you know? In a contest between happy and skinny, happy wins every time.

[krystee]

Your husband makes me sad. Is he going to restrict the kid from birthday parties someday because there's cake served? Or tell him he can go, but can't have any? Seriously, what will give him food issues is if every other kid at DC gets the occasional treat, but he is left out because his dad said no treats because he's afraid he'll get fat.

[luvmagoldn]

Farmer - you might talk to a pediatric nutritionist. We saw one to discuss Ds#3's diet at about one year. We were concerned about making sure he got sufficient calories and nutrients because of all his food allergies. We only went once but I found the visit to be very helpful. It might help you to hear from a nutritionist what lo's need vs what is appropriate for adults.

[hannamaren]

Layla went through a phase where she would eat 90% carbs. I still use carbs to hide veggies and meat.
And babies need fat for their brain development. Yes, good fats are best, but be prepared to have a child that doesnt eat everything. Layla will not touch avocado.

[Deleted]

I think the daycare menu might be a bit carb-heavy, and a bit too processed for my tastes but otherwise is just FINE. Im sure I will be a bit weird when the time comes too, but I think it's great your child isn't picky! We just started introducing things at 6 months, and so far ds hates most of it. Lol.

[MamaMaui24]

I'm amazed how much and what kinds of foods your 9 month old is eating! We're slaking a bit but working on it.

I agree with the others that his diet looks fine and as a fellow working mom, adding in preparing and packing up food everyday sounds really time consuming and will take away play time with your boy.

[whitepicketfence]

While I do think that menu is a bit too carb-heavy and I wouldn't be thrilled with CheezeIts as a snack, I don't think it's terribly bad.

I have one kid who will eat anything you give her and another that is extremely picky. I'm just thankful if I can get her to eat, regardless of what the food is. Both kids are 25th percentile for weight so I don't worry about it. I just offer healthy foods with every meal; if they eat them, great. If not, well, I can't force them to so it's not worth stressing over.

[Ashley&Scott]

I agree the dc menu is a little carb heavy but overall looks pretty good. I wouldn't be too crazy about the cheezits or banana bread. Could you send an alternate snack?

We haven't given M meat yet, we should though. Pedi said to hold off on dairy so we haven't given any cheeses or yogurt either. We just started sending food to daycare yesterday. It went really well but I was so nervous to do it. I'm not sure when we'll start letting him eat their food, for now we're sending our own.

I totally get where you're coming from about wanting to make sure he's eating the right foods. M mainly just eats fruits & veggies, there are some starches like sweet potato or red potato. Occasionally we give him toast with mashed fruit.

I wouldn't worry about N eating too much as long as you are offer healthy options, which you are. Babies don't really overeat like adults. You're doing a great job, don't beat yourself up.

I don't think it's crazy that you & YH don't want him to have cookies at this age, he's 9mo not 2-3yo. M hasn't had any pasta yet or desserts. I worry about the salt, sugar & artificial sweeteners. This doesn't mean we will never allow these things, we're just waiting a while longer to introduce them. (I think I read somewhere their little bodies were better able to process salt after one year?) We will let him have cake on his birthday

ETA: I missed the mac & cheese, that's not something I'm comfortable with at this age, especially if its from a box. Also I'm wondering how they make their mashed potatoes...are they boxed or from scratch? I give M mashed potatoes sometimes but they're just boiled red potatoes & breast milk. I would not be okay with boxed potatoes.

[h]

The cheez-it's wouldn't thrill me, but they wouldn't keep me up at night either. I would prefer fresh fruit to canned. The rest sounds pretty reasonable to me.

I agree with the thoughts that have been posted about projecting food issues on to your kids. My college roommate's parents had food issues themselves, worried constantly about their kids turning out fat, and restricted a lot of foods, and it was heartbreaking to see the problems it lead to for her as an adult. The people I know with the healthiest attitudes toward food as adults are generally people who grew up in households where a wide variety of mostly healthy food was consumed and there was relatively little focus on weight loss.

[pamela]

Nov 2, 2012 23:22:37 GMT -5 starlily said:

One of the cutest things I heard about from our first dcp was the first (and only I think) time they had a cookie as their afternoon snack. J wouldn't stop saying "mmmmm" after every bite. The visual of that still cracks me up.

DS does this and I love it! I see it as a good thing because he's enjoying/savoring yummy foods instead of wolfing them down in excess. That's a healthy relationship with food.

OP, I think your daycare menu is fine. Awesome, no. But fine for kids that are running all day. A low carb diet probably isn't the best for active kids. Definitely talk to a professional on this topic though, both you and your husband together. It sounds like he really needs to hear it from someone he'll trust.

[Deleted]

[quote author=starlily313 board=mmmoms thread=83990 post=1381466 time=1351916212]I agree with sewpinkgal. Kids have different dietary needs and I think you & your H are projecting onto him. My kid eats stuff at daycare that I rarely serve at home (juice, animal crackers, hash browns, etc.). I figure that in the long run, serving healthy food at home and modeling good habits myself will be more important than fighting the 1/2 cup of juice she gets twice a week at daycare.

Fwiw, my mom tried to control my food choices when I went through puberty and it completely backfired. [/quote]

I totally agree w/ this. Limit treats and juice and "empty calories" but whole grains and potatoes, etc. are not "empty". Soda is "empty". You obviously don't want a diet of starches, but they ARE a necessary building block of a healthy meal plan. If your kid is in the 12th percentile for weight I wouldn't be stressing over some mac and cheese.

[elocrates]

The fact that you are aware of your own food concerns and how they can impact your DS is a sign of a great mom. Good for you for thinking about this.

I think that we can see from PPs that many of us have the same concerns. And we all just want what is best for our children.

A few things to keep in mind: grains are an important part of a growing child's diet, kids use nutrients differently than adults do, exposing your DS to a variety of foods now will likely lead to better food choices in the future. It sounds like you are doing great with the other food groups. My kids (4.5 and 2 now) have gone through spurts where they can out-eat me (including between 9 months and 1.5 years at times), then other days they will hardly eat anything. They stop when they are full. We just make sure we offer a variety of healthy foods and talk a lot about the importance of "fueling our bodies and helping our minds grow" by eating vegetables, fruits, proteins, etc.

I can understand your concerns, though. DS1 will start kindergarten next year and looking at the school menu makes me cringe. I'm still trying to decide if he'll eat school lunch most days or if we'll pack lunch most days. We've been spoiled with great foods at their current daycare (which does, for the record, include grains, starches, and the occasional treat).

Ooof, that got long. Sorry.

[knitty]

Nov 2, 2012 22:52:08 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Ok I was kind of wondering that, whether he needed those starchy carbs unlike me. He's 12% in weight so I know he can stand to gain, but H thinks weight should be from good carbs and fats like avocado, veggies and fruits.

I kind of don't want him getting used to liking things like mac n cheese, breads, mashed potatoes, bc if he's anything like me he will LOVE those things. And overeat. He's a strong eater (haha but I'm being serious).

Maybe I just need to get over my own issues and not project.

Kids have a surprisingly high need for carbs. He's more likely to become an overeater in response to being restricted than from being encouraged to eat until he's full and then stop.

Still, some carbohydrate-dense foods are healthier than others. Healthy sources of carbohydrates include:

whole-grain cereals
brown rice
whole-grain breads
fruits
vegetables
low-fat dairy
For kids over 2 years old, a healthy balanced diet should include 50% to 60% of calories consumed coming from carbohydrates. The key is to make sure that the majority of these carbs come from good sources and that added sugar in their diet is limited.

The actual amount of grains will vary depending on a child's age, gender, and level of physical activity. On average, school-age kids should eat about 4- to 6-ounce equivalents from the grain group each day and at least half of these servings should come from whole grains.

An ounce equivalent is like a serving — so one slice of bread; 1 cup of ready-to-eat cereal; or a half cup of cooked rice, cooked pasta, or hot cereal can be considered a 1-ounce equivalent.
kidshealth.org/parent/growth/feeding/sugar.html#

I don't let my kids have public school lunch because it's junk food, but they do eat things at home like bread and butter oudding, mac and cheese, roasted root vegetables with gravy, I but a dab of butter on steamed veggies. They get a varied diet, including fat and sugar, spices and salt. I just make sure it's home made so it doesn't have all that added sugar, salt and weird stuff, and it's in moderation (and not daily) because I can control what does and does not have added sugar salt or fat. In our house, we have sweet things, but not everything is sweet, IYKWIM? I buy bread made of flour, salt, yeast and water, we have scones and jam and cream and the scones have no sugar or cream in them so you can adjust the taste with the jam and cream. When I mash potatoes I add milk, parmesan and some butter. They have porridge for breakfast made with quick oats, spices, brown sugar and milk. Or muesli with oats, seeds, nuts, dried fruit and milk. Barley risotto with chopped vegetables and parmesan. In the winter I buy tinned fruit and drain off the syrup (the no added sugar ones just concentrated juice and are as sweet). Tonight we're having spanikopita which is pretty calorie-full, but is packed with spinach, and the only way one of them will eat spinach. What really makes me warm and fuzzy is times like last week they got a slice of cake each on an outing and neither finished their slice, plus the pile of uneaten halloween candy on the floor ( I want it out of the house, so we have a bad week then it's gone, but they are not really gorging). They're 40 and 48th percentile for weight BTW.

What I'm trying to say is that if you don't give him carbohydrates you could drive him to eat junk to get the tastes he's craving, whereas if you provide them in his normal diet you're not only giving his body what it needs but teaching him how to eat in moderation for the rest of his life, which is what it sounds like you want to do.

Have you read anything by Ellyn Satter? She actually adresses this exact thing in 'child of mine'.

[arch01]

Farmer, if you find some good sites, let me know. I've also side-eyed some things that DC has given DS (pizza being one big one), but a lot of that comes from the things we just don't typically eat at home. I side-eye the cheezeits on that menu, but otherwise, nothing else really.

[CloudBee]

You're such a good mom. N is so lucky to have you!

It looks like you have gotten some great advice. I saw this touched on, but will suggest myself as well. Do you think the DC would let you drop off a few day's worth of something like sliced avocado, or soft fruit/veggies? You could prep a container and replace mid-week. They could use this to supplement his DC meal with a whole food.

Sounds like you're feeding him really well at home. I would consider throwing some brown or purple rice into the rotation.

[bunch]

But pizza is bread, tomato sauce and cheese! I agree that you want more variety sometimes, but I think it's a perfectly acceptable meal.

I agree with everyone else that you're projecting on this one. I think it's fair to say that you're very critical of yourself and that it's moving on to traits that you don't like about yourself that you see in your son (his nose for example). Ill admit that i was a little sad for me when I noticed that dd had my fair skin (she's already getting freckles), but you just have to shrug and get excited about how well she's going to rock them.

Another thing, just because it stood out to me, when he cleans his plate, do you give him more? I'd keep feeding him until he stops, especially since he's so little.