When personal life affects business-wwyd

[aemanager]

WWYD?

I am a manager in an office of 5. There is a senior manager above me. We work in a small town in a well known office. We are professional and deal in the financial industry. Much of our business comes from personal connections and referrals. The other manager and my income is mostly commission.

One of the employees here is a single mom that is having fun sowing her wild oats. She is 30, but is having fun banging college age kids. We hear frequently about her adventures.

I got a call over lunch today from someone who told me that Employee has been trying to get the attention of this 19 year old. So much so, that she sent him pics of her in nothing but a thong. He showed his boss and as guys do, it is spreading around.

I haven't said a word. I bounce back and forth between personal life is personal life, but when business is affected by things we do in public or things that become public - it's hard to not think about how it affects business.

What do you think? Should I address it with her? Shut my mouth?

[Deleted]

I would keep my mouth shut

[emptygee]

Nov 8, 2012 16:29:28 GMT -5 vigurl said:

I would keep my mouth shut

I agree.

[vanillacourage]

I would refer the matter to your senior manager to address, or not. If you do nothing, relationships are damaged and it comes out that you knew, it could be bad for you.

ETA: I would tell the senior manager in a factual manner that you received a phone call stating X, Y and Z and that you have no knowledge beyond that.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't even refer this to management. Although the behavior is very unprofessional in a small town this is not related to work activities. So unless she is sending the pics from a company phone or flirting at company activities I would stay out of it.

[mrssavy42112]

I don’t see how this is work related. Unless she is sending these pictures to a client, it’s her personal life.

[bronxgirl]

What does this have to do with work?

[bronxgirl]

Nov 8, 2012 16:56:04 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

I can see both sides, so I will play devil's advocate. What if her personal actions start affecting business? What if clients start withdrawing their contracts or take their business elsewhere? Do you get involved then? Would it be too late if it got to that point?

If her behavior directly affects her work than yes, it should be addressed. Until that point I don't see how it is relevant.

[aemanager]

Nov 8, 2012 16:56:04 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

I can see both sides, so I will play devil's advocate. What if her personal actions start affecting business? What if clients start withdrawing their contracts or take their business elsewhere? Do you get involved then? Would it be too late if it got to that point?

This is what I am concerned with. We have already had comments about her from clients about her partying and other things she does in her off time.

Don't get me wrong, I really don't care what she does, but when I have people calling me telling me that people are talking and showing photos, and yes, some of them are current clients, It makes me wonder.

We are in a conservative area and a small enough town that it can impact things.

[wanderlustmom]

I don't see how this affects work either, even with the additional information, I would say nothing.

[limey]

Nov 8, 2012 17:12:02 GMT -5 aemanager said:

Nov 8, 2012 16:56:04 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

I can see both sides, so I will play devil's advocate. What if her personal actions start affecting business? What if clients start withdrawing their contracts or take their business elsewhere? Do you get involved then? Would it be too late if it got to that point?

This is what I am concerned with. We have already had comments about her from clients about her partying and other things she does in her off time.

Don't get me wrong, I really don't care what she does, but when I have people calling me telling me that people are talking and showing photos, and yes, some of them are current clients, It makes me wonder.

We are in a conservative area and a small enough town that it can impact things.

I think this is mostly an MYOB situation, but if you decide to talk to your manager, than do so about the statements that clients are making.

[SusanBAnthony]

I am not in HR, FWIW.

But I would definitely address it.

You could address it with all the employees and not point fingers- just a "lets all sit down and review our policy on professional conduct". She will (hopefully) know that she is the problem and be a bit more discreet.

[livinitup]

Based on your information, I fully expect her to get fired for some minor work-related offense while everyone knows it's really because of her sexual activity with young co-eds that's deemed offensive and/or unprofessional at your office. And I'm only assuming, but feel confident in asserting that this is a huge double-standard for the single, 30-something men who would be banging the college co-eds without reprocussions.

So, give her a good referral/recommendation on her next job search.