Update: Separation is done!

[Noralie]

Effective Oct 18 since that's when I moved out. Got all new furniture for my apartment and it is gorgeous - totally my style and just the way I like it vs my Ex's style of a cross between college dorm and 90s country (bleh).

My gf is f-ing fantastic. We have so much fun. Good sex (ok Great sex!! Never had an orgasm before her and now I must.have.it.every.day), great conversations, and I am so totally in love with her. My kids love her and I adore her son. It's happened fast, but we are in agreement that we are basically perfect for each other and neither of us have ever felt like this before.

I came out to my mom, brother, and my close friends. My mom is still processing and she is very conservative, but all in all I got positive reactions and everyone is really supportive. I am so happy to be coming out at this time in history when public opinion in moving in the direction of equal rights.

Ask me anything about anything. I am feeling very open right now and want to talk about it.

[Deleted]

that is wonderful! congrats!

[Noralie]

My kids don't know anything. She is just a friend to them and that's how it will stay for the foreseeable future. Her son is 14 and figured it out, but he is always encouraging her to go out with me because he sees how happy she is.

[cjeanette]

I'm sorry, you lost me at never had an orgasm before

[Susie]

Nov 9, 2012 12:08:08 GMT -5 Noralie said:

My kids don't know anything. She is just a friend to them and that's how it will stay for the foreseeable future. Her son is 14 and figured it out, but he is always encouraging her to go out with me because he sees how happy she is.

That's really awesome. (Along with everything else in your OP.) It's so good to hear you so happy.

[Noralie]

We have no interest in living together or getting married or anything like that. We are both way too independent. Right now we are just having fun. We'll see where it goes from here.

[Kore]

You had an orgasm!! I'm happy for you

[HoneySpider]

That's great, glad you are so happy!

[Noralie]

I know right, kore? I had no expectations of that, but it was just like Boom! So good. Penises are stupid.

I actually thought I had a medical condition because I was never wet. Ever. Turns out I just need the right person, because I definitely do not have that problem now.

[CloudBee]

Was it difficult to walk away from your house? How has the transition of space beein - downgrading from house to apartment? (Being able to style the apartment yourself, aside.)

[heyrebekah]

Good for you! I am so glad to see how happy you are living the life you are meant to have.

[Noralie]

I could have gone either way on the house, but he said he wanted it so that made it easy. I love my house, but I love my apartment even more. It feels like home to me already and is all mine. I have rooms for each of the girls and I didn't have to move much because I just got new stuff. Since I left most of the personal property, we agreed that I could get everything out of the joint money (up to an agreed upon amount). I spent about 8k and did not skimp on what I wanted. So not MM, but it was worth it.

I love not having to worry about maintenance and my budget is wide open for me to splurge on a regular basis. I'm excited to do a bunch of traveling and just live it up. All of the things that I couldn't do with my ex because he didn't want to or was too fixated on the budget.

[whitepicketfence]

I'm so glad to hear that everything is going well and that you're happy!

[bunch]

Woo hoo! I'm very excited for you. I'm glad it's all working out.

Oh, question - how is your h doing?

[KaraOrNot]

I am so happy for you!

[Noralie]

He is doing terribly. I feel bad being so happy and I really temper that when I am around him. He is starting to go out and is getting some new clothes and going to the gym - all things I encouraged when we were together but he never wanted to do. I really do love him and want him to be so happy. But then I get texts like the one he sent me the other day asking if I knew anyone single who was just like me.

I'm trying to be sensitive. I'm going with a supportive but distant model right now. I want him to know that I care and am there for him, but I also don't want to give false hope. It's an interesting dynamic.

[morningmania]

So happy for you. I am glad that things are moving forward for you.

[Noralie]

It was not sudden. He has known for a long time and was figuring we would just live platonically for the rest of our lives. He is not an angry person; he is just sad.

[lys]

You left your marriage so you go could go and have fun with someone else? (male or female doesn;t matter)
Sorry, but your whole post sounds very self centered and self indulgent.

[cjeanette]

Nov 9, 2012 13:25:08 GMT -5 lys said:

You left your marriage so you go could go and have fun with someone else? (male or female doesn;t matter)
Sorry, but your whole post sounds very self centered and self indulgent.

WTF? She left a marriage she wasn't happy in that had become a friendship. So she should have stayed with someone she wasn't in love with? Would that have made her a better person?

[protozoa]

Nov 9, 2012 13:25:08 GMT -5 lys said:

You left your marriage so you go could go and have fun with someone else? (male or female doesn;t matter)
Sorry, but your whole post sounds very self centered and self indulgent.

No, that is not what she did.

Noralie, did you have any idea you were gay when you got married? I think you posted on TN that you thought your H might be gay - do you still think that? (sorry if I have you confused on that one)

[Deleted]

So you said you are going to start traveling...where is the first place you are off to?

[auberge]

Good for you! I want to hear more about the first orgasm.

[Noralie]

I didn't think I was gay. Looking back it's clear, but it was not at the time. A lot of my friends were not surprised when I came out to them.

I spent two years agonizing over this decision and felt like no matter what I did, I was being selfish. It took a lot of courage to completely turn my life upside down and I hate myself for hurting the person who means the most to me.

I'm sure I do sound very selfish right now, but that is because I feel rejuvenated and like I am finally able to really be myself. My sexuality is just a small part of who I am and for a long time I accepted that it didn't matter. That most married couples didn't really have sex and that the companionship was the most important thing. I still think it is, but at the same time I wanted something that I could not find with my ex.

I know now that I should not have married him. I should have waited for someone who was a better fit for me in all aspects. I made a mistake and I have caused a great deal of suffering to remedy that mistake. Do not mistake my current happiness for being flippant about someone else's life.

I did not leave my husband for another person. I never cheated. The point at which I was ready to make this move happened to coincide with my readiness to see what else was out there. It was not until after we split that I met my girlfriend. From the outside it does seem as though I left him for someone else, but he and I both know that was not the case.

[dr.girlfriend]

So happy to hear that things are working out well. Hope your ex finds equal happiness.

[Noralie]

I don't know yet about traveling. Probably somewhere within the surrounding states to start. I have a long list of places that I have always wanted to go - many countries in Europe, Alaska, Japan, India, Australia/new Zealand, so many. I have a lot of time off, but the girls are still young so I don't want to go for too long unless they are with me.

[hannamaren]

Glad things are looking up.
For the record, I dont thinkyou are being selfish. I think in the end, 4 people (you, H and kids) will have better lives because of this change. (never mind, gf and her son, etc)
But if people think you are being selfish. Let them. Why cant you do something for yourself? Nobody else is.

[wannabe]

Nov 9, 2012 13:25:08 GMT -5 lys said:

You left your marriage so you go could go and have fun with someone else? (male or female doesn;t matter)
Sorry, but your whole post sounds very self centered and self indulgent.

What fucking bullshit, since you obviously don't know the backstory. And you apparently aren't reading this post either.

[Deleted]

Nov 9, 2012 14:11:59 GMT -5 wannabe said:

Nov 9, 2012 13:25:08 GMT -5 lys said:

You left your marriage so you go could go and have fun with someone else? (male or female doesn;t matter)
Sorry, but your whole post sounds very self centered and self indulgent.

What fucking bullshit, since you obviously don't know the backstory. And you apparently aren't reading this post either.

Since when has sisugal ever read a post or thread before responding with her idiotic bullshit?

She won't come back to read the reply either.

[Roc A Bee]

I'm happy for you! How old are your kids?