Post by kimibrighteyes on Nov 14, 2012 11:31:49 GMT -5
I would buy her a nice new outfit for her baby and tell her that you aren't giving away any of your baby clothes until you are sure your family is complete.
We pass clothes back and forth. Can you label them and then get them back when she is done? If she is 20 weeks ahead of you this could work right?
My friends and I pass around the expensive clothes (that hold up well - not just onesies etc etc) all labeled as to whose it was. I just got some of DS's clothes back from a good friend and am storing them. My girlfriend just loaned me a crap ton of amazing and expensive baby clothes for upcoming DD. They will go back to her when I am done.
Is this something you could consider?
You can also just say no. They are your clothes. Maybe pick out one outfit or two to pass down?
Post by londoncalling on Nov 14, 2012 11:40:17 GMT -5
Regarding the loaning of clothes. I know that it can work, but my DD2 was a massive spitter and did a number on her own clothes and mine for that matter in terms of staining. A lot of her clothes now have greasy looking stains on them. Don't lend anything that you aren't OK with losing.
I threw out a ton of her newborn/3 mo clothes instead of saving them this time around because of the spots.
I would go through what you have and give her a few things, stuff you don't love, stuff that doesn't have high resale value, etc. And then tell her you are keeping the rest for any future children.
I do buy some of my kid's clothes new, and plan to consign what I don't need for future kids so that I can use that money to buy bigger sizes.
Londoncalling has a great point. Plus, I honestly don't know how one keeps track of which clothes belong to which person, unless it's just everything that goes back to someone.
I say keep your stuff and don't feel guilty. Given that she was already planning to be a SAHM, I don't feel as bad for her losing her job. It still sucks, but they were going to make it work without that income anyway.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Nov 14, 2012 12:00:26 GMT -5
If you are anything like me, when you go through the old clothes the will be some you no longer want due to stains, style, general changing tastes, who knows. And you will probably want to buy a few new things regardless. Or perhaps you ended up with a ton of one certain size due to gifts, or a bunch of extra shirts buy not enough pants, or a matching outfit that got the shirt ruined but you still have the pants. Give her all that random stuff, and tell her you are keeping the rest for future babies. If you are lucky she will decide that your hand me downs are crap and stop asking for them
I was just chatting with my mother about it. She said the same thing. Just give her the ugly stuff and be done with it. Though it would difficult because she had a ton of cute stuff.
She's really out of line. Her presumptious attitude would turn me off, even if I did have items I wanted to give away. You can tell her that she can get inexpensive items at garage sales and consignments shops.
I have no idea what she is referring to when she said it's a family tradition. Perhaps she gave baby clothes to her sister but there has never been an exchange of baby clothes between family members that I am aware of. That said, I do think they are in a financial bind since she got laid off from her job. However, she was planning to be a SAHM anyways so I am not sure exactly her budget or what they can afford.
Your OP is making my blood boil. It is not your problem that she does not have a job and not your responsibiltiy to clothe her kid. Tell her you are trying for another kid and not done with the clothes.
Post by whitepicketfence on Nov 14, 2012 16:28:02 GMT -5
Team you. I think it's crazy that she just expects you to let her have your baby clothes, especially because she knows that you're not done having kids.
I'm team you, but since you told her you'd look through your stash and since she is going through a hard time, I would send her a few (5?) outfits you're not particularly attached to and keep the rest.
Why can't she send them back to you when she's done? Send just Newborn and 0-3months now. Just make sure not to keep your favorite stuff. Write your initials on tags and make it clear you want them back.
Why can't she send them back to you when she's done? Send just Newborn and 0-3months now. Just make sure to keep your favorite stuff. Write your initials on tags and make it clear you want them back.
Team You. My bro mentioned passing on my girl clothes to his kid--I ignored it. I give away/toss stuff that is stained/ugly & only keep/store my fav pieces...I'm not giving those away until I'm sure I'm done. I wouldn't part with anything you want back--IME stuff gets stained after a few kids...DD3 had few hand me downs especially after size 12-18mo.
Post by mollybrown on Nov 14, 2012 23:46:35 GMT -5
I definitely agree that you should just let her know you won't be able to pass anything her way until you are done having babies. I guess I'm really a bitch, because I wouldn't even give her the stuff I didn't like or that was worn. Those items become pajamas/inside clothes/diaper bag extras in my house.
I experimented with loaning some of DD's things to my niece (complete with stickers with DD's name in them), and a year later I still haven't gotten them back. I would have been ticked if I had sent more than a few outfits. Learned my lesson to never loan anything unless you don't actually want it back...
Chiming in late, but I don't think you're being selfish. Regardless, I understand your mixed feelings about this.
I passed on most of my maternity clothes to a very, very close friend who had a baby a year after I did. I was just home earlier this month and planned to ask for the clothes back, since we are trying. I found out she just had her second IUI the week I rolled into town. So what did I do? I didn't mention my maternity clothes at all.
I foraged through drawers and closets in my home and found the 2 pairs of maternity pants I didn't give her and a few tops. But all of my good work clothes and cute maternity dresses are still with my friend. I figure I am WAH now anyway, so won't need as much if I do get pregnant. But, really, I just felt guilty asking for the clothes back when I know that my friend has spent a lot of money on trying to get pregnant and that she doesn't make very much to begin with.
Why can't she send them back to you when she's done? Send just Newborn and 0-3months now. Just make sure to keep your favorite stuff. Write your initials on tags and make it clear you want them back.
This only works in theory. Depending on the size of the babies, they might fit around the same time. Plus, if they don't see each other often, she may not have the clothes when she needs it.
If you read the conversation (which I literally c/p from FB) I was totally put on the spot. I never said at any point that I was going to share my baby clothes. She just assumed that I am. I know I should have just nipped it in the bud and I plan to tell her as soon as I out my status to her. I just didn't know what to say.