s/o TIght on money in exchange for private school?

[spankswife]

The schools by us are really bad, and we can't move. How do you feel about being tight on money for a few years (3-5 as your salary gradually increases) in order to pay for private school. Assume you have an efund and a significant retirement fund. You just wouldn't be able to save very much extra for a few years, and would have to be careful with spending.

This is my scenario if I want a second kid. I can do one fine, but if I want 2 *and* private school, this is something I would need to consider. Thoughts?

[drloretta]

It's important to me, so I'd make it work. My parents did.

[anna7602]

We would have to significantly revamp our lifestyle to commit to paying for 13 years of private school. We thought about it long and hard this summer and have decided not to even apply to private kindergartens for next year. I am attached to some of the things we spend our money on currently, like extra-curriculars for DD (ballet, etc.), babysitting for date nights and international travel. But, more importantly, I would like to keep the options to have the flexible worklife I have and for DH to have the option to switch jobs in the future without being too focused on whether he'd have to take a paycut for a job he would enjoy more. So, those were huge factors in our decision.

Instead of private school, we will focus on charter schools and bilingual programs within the city-wide public school system. If DD gets a spot at a school further away than I would like, then our compromise is to buy a car. This is far cheaper than committing to pay for private school for the long haul.

ETA: Maybe this is flameful, but I feel like DD gets more out of what we choose to spend our money on now than she would get out of any private school I considered.

[Saudade]

It's very important to me to give my children a better education that I received. I had such a terrible experience with no other option until 11 grade that I can't imagine making my children go through that. Since our jobs are portable we will be moving in a few years to an area with more options. It doesn't have to be private but it has to be better.

[dulcemariamar]

In your situation, I would do it but because you said it would only be a few years.

I would love to send my future LOs to a private International school. We could probably afford to send her to one but it would be tight at the end of the month. However, my DH is against the idea of sending our LOs to a school where she might feel left out because there will be a difference between her and her classmates. Plus, you have to take into consideration that there will always be "extras" to pay at the school (trips, classes, activities) And I would feel bad if I couldnt pay for it.

And I agree with Anna. I want to have extra money at the end of the month for activities and for traveling. Plus, I want to SAHM for the first few years so I enjoy having the flexibility of being able to do that.

[h]

If the public schools are really bad and you don't have a way to access a good public school (moving, charter school, requesting to transfer to a different school in the district, etc.), then I would absolutely stretch for a few years to do private. Education is pretty much right after food, shelter, and healthcare on the priority list for me, and I would make significant sacrifices to keep my kid out of school that I thought was "really bad."

[ohgillian]

Probably depends on what you mean by "really bad." I grew up in an area with mediocre public schools, but my parents felt it was important that we attend those schools, in part because we had more money than most of our peers there, and we were exposed to a lot of life that we wouldn't have seen otherwise. I don't know how to explain it in the right words. Like, it was important that I learn to be friends with people from all socioeconomic classes, and learn how other people lived, etc.

The education was satisfactory enough, and the schools were not unsafe. I assume that if the education had been truly horrible overall (some parts were, but most were decent), or if the schools had been unsafe, it would have been a different discussion.

My siblings and I are all very grateful that we attended public school and saw and learned the things that we did, and I don't mean the education-related things. I mean, the kids who didn't have clothes that fit, and the kids who couldn't learn to read, etc. I really think my public education shaped a lot of my worldview.

ETA: I don't think I was hurt by not getting a "better" education; I still attended a well-ranked college and a top tier graduate school.

[dulcemariamar]

Nov 16, 2012 9:37:28 GMT -5 ohgillian said:

Probably depends on what you mean by "really bad." I grew up in an area with mediocre public schools, but my parents felt it was important that we attend those schools, in part because we had more money than most of our peers there, and we were exposed to a lot of life that we wouldn't have seen otherwise. I don't know how to explain it in the right words. Like, it was important that I learn to be friends with people from all socioeconomic classes, and learn how other people lived, etc.

The education was satisfactory enough, and the schools were not unsafe. I assume that if the education had been truly horrible overall (some parts were, but most were decent), or if the schools had been unsafe, it would have been a different discussion.

My siblings and I are all very grateful that we attended public school and saw and learned the things that we did, and I don't mean the education-related things. I mean, the kids who didn't have clothes that fit, and the kids who couldn't learn to read, etc. I really think my public education shaped a lot of my worldview.

ETA: I don't think I was hurt by not getting a "better" education; I still attended a well-ranked college and a top tier graduate school.

I agree with you. I also think it depends on the kid and their grade level. I would rather spend money on a private grade school than on a private high school because you are really establishing a good foundation for the future. I went to public high school but my brother went to the private one. I had the choice and I was too lazy to ride on the bus for 45 minutes each way. My parents knew that I was a responsible enough student to do well in a school that wasnt particularly great. My brother is smart but lazy so he needed an environment that was going to hold him accountable.

[Deleted]

Giving the best education to my kids is one of my top priorities. The public schools here are mostly mediocre to bad with few exceptions that are difficult to choice into & extremely expensive to live in. We pay for 3 kids in private school now & will be paying for 4 on 1 income. We lucked out (as in put our kids on it's waitlist VERY early) & got in. It's an amazing & "cheap" private school but the waitlist is insane. Right now we pay around $15k/yr for 3--the 4th will be half price. It's painful to us but this is non-negoliable to me & DH. We are committed to 15yrs of private school each & it will be hundreds of thousands by the time we are done.

[spankswife]

Tight would mean, we could still pay for dance class/swim lessons, visit family, and go on a vacation we could drive to in a few hours. No home renos, no big trips, limited dining out. Clothes from Target/ Old Navy.

The schools are bad to the point where they can be dangerous (recently a girl brought a gluco-meter on the bus and tested 24 friends sugar levels - aka 24 kids under 10 shared a needle! frequent stories of guns at school, 85% of population is free lunch...)

We have already made the obvious decision to send DD to private, but my concern/issue is do we have another child and pay for 2 in private. It would be tight for a few years vs do we have 1 and live and travel more etc..

I like hearing other perspectives. It helps me think of things I wouldn't think of.

[regina22]

I would stick with one kid. I think you're life would be more enjoyable and your one kid might appreciate all the experiences you'd be able to provide.

[fortmyersbride]

Education is very import to DH and me. I would pay anything I could without going into too much debt if I were concerned about my children's education.

The glucometer thing is weird, and perhaps reflects poor supervision on the bus, but I'm not seeing how it demonstrates the quality of education.

[cjeanette]

I would pay for private if I wasn't happy with out public schools. Luckily I am very satisfied with the public education DS is getting thus far. At times more than the overpriced pre-school I pay for DD to be in.

[Deleted]

Private school is important to us. Education in general is I portent to us. We sacrifice for it.

And I've taught in many public schools as well as private. The whole "private schools are sheltered" is bull as a stereotype. Some are, but not all.

[Deleted]

So many variables. We may be in a similar boat in a few years. One option we are considering is renting out our current house so we can buy or rent in a better school district. Can you do this?

I would probably make the sacrifice though, depending on just how bad the schools are and just how tight things would be.