Nudity. Probably a repeat question.

[hannamaren]

So right now, my baby is 1, so not an issue (well, at least I dont think so) but my H mentioned something and made me think.
When do you think kids should stop seeing their parents naked? Should it be avoided at all costs? Only okay in the bathtub, etc?

Right now, the only way we can shower when only one parent is home is for Layla to be in the room with us. It is funny, she likes to peek around the curtain and laughs at us while we are in the shower. Works for now, but not for a 14 yr old - of course.

So what age is it wrong? Maybe you think we are wrong now? My H feels weird about her watching but I dont think it is a problem. People take baths with their kids - not a problem.

Thoughts?

[DarcyLongfellow]

I remember when my dad decided I shouldn't see him naked anymore -- I think it was around first grade, maybe a bit before. That seems to be on the older end from earlier discussions on here. I just remember thinking it was odd that all of a sudden dad would hide from me if I barged into their room!

DD still sees DH naked. He's starting to reach the limits of his comfort level with it, though. He says she looks at him. I told him, of course she is. Just be matter of fact about it!

As for the same sex parent, I still see my mom naked, and my mom, grandma, and I used to all share a dressing room when we went shopping, so I don't really think there needs to be an end point there.

It's really whatever you guys are comfortable with. There's no magic "too old" point.

[glitzy07]

My step-son is 6 now, and I've probably been making sure that I change in a different room since he was 4-5. He'll still see me in a bra and underwear occasionally, but I try to avoid it if possible.

[drloretta]

Ditto Mrs Starry. DD is almost 3 and DH hasn't been comfortable being naked around her since she was around 1. I'm fine with her seeing me naked for a while.

And it clearly varies by family. My one brother and SIL were naked around their kids and everyone left the bathroom doors open for YEARS

[karinothing]

Nov 16, 2012 14:42:18 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

Same sex parent - as long as you both feel comfortable.

Opposite sex parent - preschool age. This is more because of societal norms than anything.

Ditto this. I mean I am still nursing so DS obviously sees my boobs a lot. I don't really think about it.

ETA: DH doesn't appear uncomfortable with DS seeing him naked (he likes to peek into the shower too) but that might be becasue they are the same sex. I don't know how he would feel if we had a girl.

[hocus]

I'll be honest the answer to this will be very culturally driven.

I think it is OK to see a parent of the same gender naked pretty much forever. I share changing rooms with my mom now for example.

For opposite gender parents I think the cut off varies but it is probably around 3 or 4. But honestly seeing any adult naked in a natural setting at any age shouldn't be a hugely traumatic. Obviously children in adults should not be in sexual situations together but if a 12 year old boy sees say a mom breasting then I think that is fine.

[ijack]

My oldest is 4.5 and still sees her dad naked. It's not like he's walking around naked all the time, but if she sees him getting ready to shower or whatever it's not a big deal. I think if you don't make a big deal out of it then it doesn't really become uncomfortable for either party. And I can't really imagine getting to a point where I thought DD shouldn't see me naked.

[Deleted]

My girls still see me & I don't see this changing ever. They ask questions & we talk about when they'll get boobs, breast feeding, hair, etc. I think it'll make puberty talk easier & natural.

I know DD1 & 2 don't walk in on DH peeing or in Bathroom anymore. He's never walking around naked so it'd be peeing or peaking in the shower. None of them look in the shower I know even when it's me. My DD3 will still walk in bathroom (usually to use it) on occassion & it doesn't seem to phase her yet. I think many kids naturally decide that it's uncomfortable around 4-5. I remember being 5 or so & not wanting to walk in on my Dad anymore. No biggie.

[h]

I have started trying to limit the extent to which DS1 sees me naked fairly recently--he is 5. I still don't have a problem with him seeing my breasts, though. I will be breasting the baby that we are expecting in April, and I am not going to hide from my older sons to do it.

I didn't worry about it at all until DS1 was between 4 and 5.

[8675309]

Nov 16, 2012 15:49:46 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

DH doesn't really like to be naked around Lu because she makes a big deal about his penis and asks questions and tries to grab him LOL.

This.
After DD ran up to DH pointing at his junk and said "Ewww daddy has poopoo on his peepee", the nudity stopped for DH.

[anna7602]

DH started feeling uncomfortable with it when DD was getting very curious about his penis and asking a ton of questions about it. This also coincided with her noticing and discussing that the boys at school pee standing up and not sitting down. She was around 3.

I let DH make that call. I didn't have any pre-determined age in mind.

DD still sees me naked now. We sometimes shower together at places like the public pool or on vacation and it doesn't feel like a big deal to me.

[jena]

Dd is 5.5yo. She still sees dh naked, but we are phasing out taking showers with daddy. I still take showers with both kids- ds just turned 3.

Dd has never made a big deal over seeing dh's junk, perhaps because she's always seeing ds's -that boy just will not keep his pants on- so she thinks it's no big deal.

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[sewpinkgal]

For same sex parent - I don't think there would necessarily be a strict cut off in our house.

Opposite sex parent - probably around the time that the child starts inquiring about parts that are different between them and the parent.

Like a pp said, I still change in front of my mom and it's no big deal. I don't remember ever seeing my dad naked, so I'm guessing he stopped changing in front of me fairly early on.

[Willis Jackson]

DS is 3.5 and still sees me naked. I'm more concerned that he'll be haunted by memories of his naked mother and want to barf.

I have no memory of seeing my dad naked, thank god.

[zacksbride]

DS is just over 3 and he still sees us naked on a regular basis, he will walk in the bathroom when i am showering, etc. Honestly, at times it's kind of unavoidable - if DH is at work and I need to shower, I have to leave the bathroom door open so he can get me if he needs me. And public bathrooms, he always comes in the stall when its just the 2 of us, and I don't see stopping that in the forseeable future. I try not to make a big deal about it and it doesn't seem to phase him...

[cjeanette]

Our house is too small to avoid seeing each other naked. It really doesn't seem to be an issue.

[Deleted]

I am really prudish about this stuff. DS hasn't seen me naked since we left the hospital with him when he was born. I ff & I have always been able to shower & change while he was asleep, napping or DH or my Mom were with him. He has seen DH nude in passing once or twice. He has seen me in a bra & underwear before. I realize I am a huge prude & this is not normal.

[rootbeerfloat]

The kids are often in our room when we are coming out of the shower and dressing. They are almost 6 and 3. We don't go out of our way to cover up in front of them, but we don't lounge around nude for hours, either. If they're there, it's no big deal.

Then again, my kids are budding nudists who like to take their clothes off.

[cjeanette]

Nov 16, 2012 17:26:57 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

When do kids see their parents naked? I don't see my kid ever seeing me or my husband naked.

When changing clothes are getting in and out of the shower. When they barge in while I am using the restroom.

Our home is tiny and all three bedrooms and the bathroom are clumped together.

[fortmyersbride]

I don't have a definite cutoff. The kids wander in and out of our room or bathroom while we're changing. I assume that when it gets to the point that they are weirded out by it, then they'll stop coming in the room

I think I'm pretty acclimated to nudity though since I see a lot of patients in varying degrees of nudity. I think that if that weren't the case then I would feel more weird about it.

[bronxgirl]

Nov 16, 2012 15:49:46 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Lu is almost three. We still take baths together and I can't imagine that feeling weird for a while. But I still see my mom naked on occasion, so I don't think I'll ever avoid having her see me naked unless she seems uncomfortable at some point.

DH doesn't really like to be naked around Lu because she makes a big deal about his penis and asks questions and tries to grab him LOL.

I am unable to answer the question b/c I am too busy laughing at this.

[SusanBAnthony]

In our family we don't worry about nudity at all. I am the crazy naked lady in the gym locker room,it just doesn't bother me.

Growing up I have vague memories of seeing my dad naked, so I am guessing around age 5. For same sex, well, we had one bathroom growing up, so my mom, sister, and I shared the bathroom every morning. Then my dad and brother had their shift.

So far with our kids, we don't worry about it at all. Te kids both know the parts, and we have always been very open about it, so it isn't some big deal, they could care less. Whenever they get squeamish about it we will be more private, but so far no one cares.

[jena]

Nov 16, 2012 17:26:57 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

When do kids see their parents naked? I don't see my kid ever seeing me or my husband naked.

Um, really? Never ever? Not even partial nudity? How about...

When you are home with kid and dh is out, if you want to shower or change clothes, chances are your toddler-5yo will need something "right now" and walk in to tell you that they need juice or that brother is watching tv or something else immediate and dire.

If you take your kid to a pool or splash pad and need to change into swimsuits in the concrete cave they call a locker room at the park.

If you ever plan on trying on clothes in a fitting room again, ever.

If you have to pee when you are in a public place will you let your 3yo roam the mall bathroom to protect your privacy?

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[dr.girlfriend]

I always thought I'd cut DS off around age three, but he's turning 4 in a few weeks and I still can't figure out how to do it. He's always in our room as I'm getting dressed in the morning, and how on earth do you go to the bathroom without taking him in the stall with you when you're out somewhere? There's no way I'd leave him unattended even for five minutes. He has made a few comments about how pee comes out of my butt instead of a penis and I just correct him, but otherwise he hasn't seemed too interested.

[GailGoldie]

my oldest is 5.5 and still sees me naked- and he's a boy... it doesn't even phase him when i get out of the shower and get dressed...

I guess when he starts to be uncomfortable by it then i'll put a towel on when i get out of the shower - but until then I see no reason to cover up - it's just a body - we all have bodies... and i want my kids to feel comfortable with their bodies, not think it's something shameful. They know about private parts- and how we dnot' show them in PUBLIC but home is OK, etc.

[Shreddingbetty]

DD is 2.5 and she sees us naked daily when we get out of the shower. Her bedroom is between our bedroom and our bathroom (as in her bedroom is attached to our bedroom and you have to walk through it to get to our bathroom). There for a while she would talk about daddy has a penis, her friend M has a penis because they are boys and how she and mommy have vaginas because we are girls. She hasn't done that in a while though. At this point it is no big deal. When DH gets out of the shower he wraps a towel around himself while brushing his teeth etc but then takes it off while getting his clothes. So far DD (and DH) could care less.

She will get her own separate room next fall so I suspect that there will be less opportunity for her to see us naked then but we won't actively avoid it for a while. It is not like we are galavanting around the house naked all day long, it is just when getting out of the shower for the most part.

I'm still nursing too and DD thinks breast are called milkies she saw my sister without a bra while we were visiting. Recently and said: oh, big milkies....(unlike her momma)

As far as when would kids see their parents naked....I rarely get to go to the bathroom by myself, even at this age. And like PP said, when changing at the swimming pool or trying on clothes.

[frlcb]

Nov 16, 2012 17:26:57 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

When do kids see their parents naked? I don't see my kid ever seeing me or my husband naked.

Never? I can't imagine feeling this way.

We still shower with our kids, who are 19 months (dd) and 4.5 (ds). He isn't phased by me looking different and until he does I have no issue with it. I won't be showering with him when he is 12 but at 4 it is fine. I will let dh decide when he is uncomfortable doing so with dd.

[whitepicketfence]

Since I have girls, I'm not concerned about them seeing me naked. It"s NBD to me. I still remember seeing my mom naked at times as a teenager and it didn't even phase me.

DH is already uncomfortable with DD1 seeing him naked or being in the bathroom with him and she's just shy of 3.

[whitemerlot]

I agree that seeing the same sex parent is no big deal ever. I have a 3 year old boy and he barges in on me in the bathroom and I'm starting to lock the door when I'm using the toilet. I don't mind him seeing me change yet, but he is way too into what I'm doing on the potty and comments on how I don't need to wipe in front, etc. It's tough in a public restroom!

[GailGoldie]

I don't get why "asking questions" is bad?
My oldest has asked a lot of questions- and I answer them - he knows about girls having a vagina, babies come out of it, women's boobies make milk after they have a baby - etc... NBD to me. It's our bodies - you can tell them about bodies without talking about sex.