Whiney whine whine. MH makes me crazy

[wawa]

I know I've beaten this horse. I know nobody cares.

But I have got to vent so I don't shake the man.

We've been emailing all morning about paint colors for the rest of the house.

Background: I've been planning the look of this guest room for over a year now. I've done half a dozen variations on a mood board for it. He knows this. Also the comment about the cats (see below) has a whole ridiculous backstory - he says that he's not willing to spend money on any new upholstered furniture or rugs until my cats are gone. My cats are only 7 years old and perfectly healthy. They aren't going anywhere. He asks me daily if I've found anybody willing to take the cats because he persists in this weird delusion that if he keeps asking everybody he knows if they want our cats that 1. somebody will say yes and that 2. I will suddenly be ok with giving them up.

So pretty much...when it comes to the cats, he's a total asshole.



******Email exchange below****

Wawa:
My thoughts - I'm not married to these exact colors. Just wanted to give you an idea of what i was looking at.

[insert lots of swatches. Laundry room and pantry = orange, baby room = purple-gray, basement = tan, back bedroom = light griege, guest room = pale creamy yellow, office = cool gray (with a note about how I don't want the guest room and office to be the same color. He'd suggested that a few days ago)]

Mr.Wawa:
office = yellow

back bedroom should be something easy to paint over since it is likely to change color with a second kid.

Wawa:
Right, that's why I'm thinking a light neutral.

Why so set on yellow for the office?

I guess I'm fine with that - but then I think I want to do a soft gray in the guest room. I don't want to paint them the same color.

Mr.Wawa:
didn't you want to pick a color for the guest room from that picture?


Wawa:
I wanted to pick something that will go with that picture. I was thinking that a soft gray would be nice with white bedding and teal and either light green or soft yellow accents. And maybe a touch of the slightly pinkish color that is in the middle of the flowers. (like in a pillow or something) You suggested yellow for the walls - which would also work - but I don't like the idea of having the office and the guest room the same color. so if you want yellow for the office, then gray for the guest room is my fallback.

Mr.Wawa:
What about cream for the walls, with a teal rug (once the cats are gone), black furniture and light green/yellow bedding.


***end email exchange.****

AYFKM??? No, no, no and no. No. Stop it. I've wanted to put white bedding in here since before we started demo. I hate the idea of black furniture for this room - which you would know if you'd paid attention to half the damn links I've sent you of "hey, I like something like this for the guest room." I'm fine with a teal rug I guess, but good fucking luck finding one. And most importantly what part of I DON'T WANT THE OFFICE AND THE GUEST ROOM TO BE THE SAME FUCKING COLOR do you not understand? The office is not going to be blazing yellow so for adjacent rooms - cream and "soft yellow" are essentially the same damn thing - and seperated by the tan hallway our entire downstairs is going to be a big 'ole pile of yellowtoned MUSH. JUST LET ME PICK THE DAMN COLORS.

I've spent over a year coming up with ideas for this and it's driving me fucking insane that now that it's actually coming down to making decisions he sees nothing wrong with inserting his opinions at the 11th hour. If you care so damn much - how about YOU put together mood boards, and find inspiration pieces and obsessively shop for fucking rugs and lamps and drapes for 12 months. How about that?

And while we're at it - if you comment one more time about how we can't buy any rugs until I find a new home for the cats I'm really going to smother you in your sleep. The cats are staying. Yes they occasionally claw at the rugs. Yes they get fur on things. That does NOT actually mean we can never have nice things. Stop it. By that logic we shoudln't buy anything new now anyway because the baby is just going to destroy it anyway. Get a fucking grip man.

GAH. He's frustratingly stubborn at the best of times. Add in pregnancy hormones and I might actually kill him.

[thewop]

Posts like this make me glad my H is color blind. He couldn't give a crap what I pick for paint because he usually has no idea what color it really is.

[Deleted]

Nov 16, 2012 14:55:11 GMT -5 thewop said:

Posts like this make me glad my H is color blind. He couldn't give a crap what I pick for paint because he usually has no idea what color it really is.

This is my H. He says if I like it, he likes it. Wawa, that's really frustrating, especially him assuming the cats are going to another home!!??

[mrs.jacinthe]

The cat thing would drive me up the wall. You're more patient than I am, too. I'd have seriously lost it by now.

As regards color, R tries to do this. He'll wait until I've pretty much made up my mind and then be all "BUT wait! I want to do THIS color here." Really? you didn't think that was important to mention ... oh ... 3 weeks ago when I was holding up color chips and going "What do YOU think?" Argh.

[thewop]

Nov 16, 2012 15:04:14 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

I'm sorry that your H is so damn opinionated.

And if I were you, a very shitty "I'M KEEPING MY DAMN CATS! AT LEAST THEY DON'T ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT PAINT COLORS!" Would be in order.

Ah, but you are so much more level headed than me. I would probably throw in a "I'm growing a human being!" Lol

Haha. Yeah I would have turned into crazy biatch by now and said "I'M HAVING YOUR BABY, I DO WHAT I WANT! NOW SHUT UP!"

[mrs.jacinthe]

::stands behind fia and wop nodding::

[bunnymendelbaum]

You need to put your foot down about the cat thing.

My advice: Split the rooms up. That's the only way my DH and I are not divorced. You do guest room, he does office.

[boiler717]

Aww, I'm sorry! I hope you guys figure it all out soon.

[darkling_glory]

Does he think it's cheaper to paint the two rooms the same color? That would be my husband's reasoning.

So frustrating! And I would have flipped a table about those cat comments long ago. Not cool, hubby, not cool.

[emisi]

Ditto pretty much everything everyone else said. What's with his obsession with getting rid of your cats? Does he hate cats or something?

And I have to say, in my head his idea for the guest room looks very 90s.

[emoflamingo]

H bought paint last night and then went to the house to drop it off and he sends me a picture of our new master bedroom and goes "was it always this color?" and I said yes. So he asks "Why do we need to paint it?" Because I don't like light blue, that's why.

And I lol'd at "at least my cats don't argue."

[kaylie]

I'm sorry Wawa! You know I think you have the patience of a saint and hell, I would have hauled off and clubbed him by now. Probably with a copy of what to expect when you're expecting. The 11th hour thing is extra annoying. Have you told him you've already been planning for a year?

The Kaylie-approved solution to this problem is to go to the paint store, buy the colors you like and just start putting them on the walls (I'm sure you could blame it on pregnancy-crazy).

On the cat thing, that's just not cool. Can you drop a "the cats were here before you, and if you keep this shit up they'll be here after you, too." ? Does he think women just give up their cats? I wonder if at work they call him "the guy who tries to give away cats".

H is sort of ridiculously nice to my (now our, except when the litter box needs changing) cat. We made pizza and she was licking up some spilled parm, I told him she'd been really into cheese lately. He asked if I thought she'd like to try the fontina. Like seriously, the dude was going to do a cheese tasting for a cat. The other thing is that she'll only drink out of the toilet. If H goes to use the bathroom and she's drinking, he'll either wait for her to finish or go to another bathroom. He refuses to shoo her off and it just cracks me up every time.

[amblor]

Nov 16, 2012 15:13:51 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

You need to put your foot down about the cat thing.

My advice: Split the rooms up. That's the only way my DH and I are not divorced. You do guest room, he does office.

I like this suggestion! That way, you can keep all of your hard earned hopes for the room! Why does he care so much about the guest room? Will he ever really stay in there? Oh, maybe he will if he doesn't STFU about your cats.

I'd seriously sit him down and have a calm, serious conversation about the cats. If it were me, this is something that could really grate on our marriage. I'd just tell him calmly how much it really bothers you when he continues to say things about the cats and that you really adore your cats and will not be letting them go regardless of if someone wants them.

Funny cat story: DH treats our male cat and female cat like babies. Before we found out the sex of the baby, he had a serious talk with (while cradling) the female to "let her know" she may not be his only little girl anymore. Haha. Then when we got home from finding out, he told the male "well, you're going to have to be a man now pal because we have another baby boy on the way." Hah he seriously treats them and tries to reason with them like adults.

Oh and also re: rugs and kitties - our living/family room brand new wool rug is currently covered with a painter's canvas tarp because as soon as we rolled it out, the male went to town on it. But in the guest bedroom you would be able to just close the door!! And also I think it depends on the type of rug you get. The looped wool obviously was a bad choice bc they love to get their claws in it!