I need to vent about SIL

[Ashley&Scott]

This is long & rambly, sorry...

I talked to SIL yesterday, she tells me that when we have M's birthday party Jane (her 35yo 3rd cousin) is going to come out too because she really wants to attend the party. SIL, nephew, MIL & FIL will pick Jane up on their way out to our house. (6hr drive) Jane was at SIL's house when I was talking to her & I'm 90% sure I was on speaker phone. I was just like "ummm ok... "

Geesh, we haven't even decided where or when we're having this party & now SIL is inviting people without asking us.

I know it's just one person & really not a big deal. On the other hand, WTF?... it is not her place to invite people, especially without asking me or DH. This is going to be a small party with immediate family. It actually makes me feel a little bad that I'm not inviting my cousins, aunt & uncles.

[anna7602]

That is really weird.

[vanillacourage]

I would respond with "actually, it's so far out that we haven't set an invite list yet. We'll get invites in the mail when we get closer to his birthday."

Shut it down now.

[Ashley&Scott]

Vanilla- that's what my mom said too. We may do that this weekend when we see SIL. I do feel a little bad that Jane has already been told she can come & now I have to be the bad guy.

To clarify, we are not close with Jane. (she' perfectly nice it's just we're not close) SIL on the other hand is fairly close with her, Jane goes to SIL's for the weekend 3-4 times a year.

[Ashley&Scott]

Yes Starry same SIL. (DH's sister)

[Deleted]

That is weird.

You aren't being the bad guy even if it feels like it. Your SIL is the one who is responsible for this. Plus, it seems weird that Jane really wants to attend and I'm inclined to believe that it was SIL's idea to begin with. Sorry you're in that position!

[BAMFMrsB]

Nov 19, 2012 13:59:28 GMT -5 @applesauce said:

That is weird.

You aren't being the bad guy even if it feels like it. Your SIL is the one who is responsible for this. Plus, it seems weird that Jane really wants to attend and I'm inclined to believe that it was SIL's idea to begin with. Sorry you're in that position!

It's weird that Jane/SIL have invited themselves to M's party, I totally agree. But people seem to just lose their damn minds when it comes to our offspring.

EX: Random familial aquaintance "oh, I can babysit your child at ANY time". The hell you can... "oh we haven't discussed future babysitting yet!" ^o)

Jane and SIL were probably discussing your baby and how much Jane just lovvvvvvvvves babies and well OF COURSE she'll be invited to his 1st birthday party! :-|

[Ashley&Scott]

Nov 19, 2012 13:59:28 GMT -5 @applesauce said:

You aren't being the bad guy even if it feels like it.

Thanks I needed to hear that.

[cherry1111]

Nov 19, 2012 14:48:42 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Who wants to go to a one year old's birthday party? I don't even particularly like kid birthday parties if I know and love the kid. Weirdo.

LOL, that was my thought too. Is Jane also 6 hours away? That is just insane to me.

[Ashley&Scott]

Nov 19, 2012 14:57:29 GMT -5 cherry1111 said:

Nov 19, 2012 14:48:42 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Who wants to go to a one year old's birthday party? I don't even particularly like kid birthday parties if I know and love the kid. Weirdo.

LOL, that was my thought too. Is Jane also 6 hours away? That is just insane to me.

Jane is actually about 4hr away, SIL is 6hr.

[Deleted]

Just say no if she brings it up again. We wanted a small immediate family only first birthday for V. FIL and GMIL kept trying to invite extended family and I just said no. I agree that you aren't the bad guy here- SIL is.