Ugh...from FB

[lemondrop]

A female friend just posted a picture of her son (who is biologically my cousin's son) with his stepdad and the phrase "Any man can be a father; it takes someone special to be a dad."

Two people I know have liked it, and I'm fucking irritated. Before defending him, I will admit my cousin is a horny idiot.

In his defense this girl is a major fucking liar and always has been. (We all went to school together.) After graduation she ran into him and gave him a sob story that she'd had ovarian cancer and they removed her ovaries and ute. I know he's telling the truth, because she also told me this story as we were partying two days after her "surgery."

So she convinces him to have sex without a condom. (I know diseases. See: he's an idiot.) And, major surprise here, she gets knocked up. She and her family kept my family and my cousin from the kid. And now people are convinced he's just a deadbeat.

Ugh, I'm irritated by this. I think I should defriend her. But if I did, I'd never see pictures of the kid.

[Deleted]

I don't get it. Has he not sued for parental rights? If he is the biological father and he wants to see his son, he should take her to court and then she cannot call him a "deadbeat".

This isn't making sense...

[lemondrop]

Nov 20, 2012 16:02:22 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

I don't get it. Has he not sued for parental rights? If he is the biological father and he wants to see his son, he should take her to court and then she cannot call him a "deadbeat".

This isn't making sense...

I'm not really sure what he's done or what he wants to do. Or even if he wants anything to do with the kid. I know his parents did, but they don't have any rights.

[Captain Serious]

I have so many questions. How old were you all when she got pregnant? How did you think it was possibly to be partying two days after major surgery like a hysterectomy?

Just because she lied about that doesn't mean she was the one who did the convincing to have unprotected sex. How do you know he didn't convince/pressure her, since after all, she was sterile as far as he knew?

How did they "keep your family" away from the child? I agree with the pp; the courts are there for precisely this type of thing. Has he filed suit to enforce his parental rights?

[thebamker]

can I share a similar story.

My own cousin's husband got a tattoo of that saying after she called him a crappy father. She called him a crappy father b/c he started cheating on her and was living at his mistresses house and claimed that he couldn't see his kids b/c he didn't want to bring them over there.

ok dude.

[Captain Serious]

Nov 20, 2012 16:07:48 GMT -5 lemondrop said:

Nov 20, 2012 16:02:22 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

I don't get it. Has he not sued for parental rights? If he is the biological father and he wants to see his son, he should take her to court and then she cannot call him a "deadbeat".

This isn't making sense...

I'm not really sure what he's done or what he wants to do. Or even if he wants anything to do with the kid. I know his parents did, but they don't have any rights.

How do his parents not have any rights? I thought grandparent rights have been pretty much established in most states by now, at least for visitation.

It sounds like you have been fed a story you've been willing to believe.

[sprky79]

I call bullshit on the "Kept away" business. Biological parents have legal protections. Did he not utilize them? Is he maintaining his obligations to this kid?

[lemondrop]

I have so many questions.
How old were you all when she got pregnant? 19

How did you think it was possibly to be partying two days after major surgery like a hysterectomy? I knew it wasn't possible, which was the main reason I knew she'd lied to him.

Just because she lied about that doesn't mean she was the one who did the convincing to have unprotected sex. How do you know he didn't convince/pressure her, since after all, she was sterile as far as he knew? I wasn't there, so I don't know 100%, but my cousin and I used to be very close and he always told me the truth about a lot of things. I'm more inclined to believe him than her.

How did they "keep your family" away from the child? I agree with the pp; the courts are there for precisely this type of thing. Has he filed suit to enforce his parental rights? See above.

So, really, since I'm not sure what contact he wanted, she may be right that he's a terrible father, but I just don't like that most people don't know the full background.

[lemondrop]

Nov 20, 2012 16:14:08 GMT -5 @sprky79 said:

I call bullshit on the "Kept away" business. Biological parents have legal protections. Did he not utilize them? Is he maintaining his obligations to this kid?

No, my cousin's family has been kept away, so the kid's grandparents.

[lemondrop]

Nov 20, 2012 16:10:37 GMT -5 thebamker said:

can I share a similar story.

My own cousin's husband got a tattoo of that saying after she called him a crappy father. She called him a crappy father b/c he started cheating on her and was living at his mistresses house and claimed that he couldn't see his kids b/c he didn't want to bring them over there.

ok dude.

A tattoo? LOL. I'll settle for a picture on FB.

[sprky79]

HOw is one "KEPT AWAY?" Is his name not on the bc? When he found out he was the father, did he not petition the court for custody/visitation? Right now, its soundling like she might be on to something.

[Captain Serious]

Thanks for answering my questions. I know it hurts to see her talk shit about your cousin, even in a backhanded way, and you are welcome to vent away, but it really doesn't seem like he is white as snow here.

[lemondrop]

Nov 20, 2012 16:17:31 GMT -5 freedom said:

What full story do you want everyone on FB to know? Faking a hysterectomy doesn't make your cousin a better father to his son.

No, doubt. I just don't like that people think she's so wonderful.

[thebamker]

Nov 20, 2012 16:21:11 GMT -5 lemondrop said:

Nov 20, 2012 16:17:31 GMT -5 freedom said:

What full story do you want everyone on FB to know? Faking a hysterectomy doesn't make your cousin a better father to his son.

No, doubt. I just don't like that people think she's so wonderful.

that's an honest, fair answer.

[lemondrop]

Nov 20, 2012 16:20:43 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

Thanks for answering my questions. I know it hurts to see her talk shit about your cousin, even in a backhanded way, and you are welcome to vent away, but it really doesn't seem like he is white as snow here.

Yeah, I know. And I've always known he was an idiot. I've defended him my entire life.

[imoan]

I can't get past "she convinces him to have sex without a condom". I know he's your cousin and I know it sucks when someone is busting on him... but dude seems like he's just as big of a fuck up in this situation as she is.

[lemondrop]

Nov 20, 2012 16:31:31 GMT -5 imoan said:

I can't get past "she convinces him to have sex without a condom". I know he's your cousin and I know it sucks when someone is busting on him... but dude seems like he's just as big of a fuck up in this situation as she is.

I know. He's so dumb sometimes. :-(

[Deleted]

Nov 20, 2012 16:07:48 GMT -5 lemondrop said:

Nov 20, 2012 16:02:22 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

I don't get it. Has he not sued for parental rights? If he is the biological father and he wants to see his son, he should take her to court and then she cannot call him a "deadbeat".

This isn't making sense...

I'm not really sure what he's done or what he wants to do. Or even if he wants anything to do with the kid. I know his parents did, but they don't have any rights.

So you don't know if this man has any interest or has really made an effort to be there for this kid but you're upset that some other dude is clearly stepping into the role?

Yeah, given the circumstances, I would move it along here.

[Captain Serious]

Nov 20, 2012 16:25:14 GMT -5 lemondrop said:

Nov 20, 2012 16:20:43 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

Thanks for answering my questions. I know it hurts to see her talk shit about your cousin, even in a backhanded way, and you are welcome to vent away, but it really doesn't seem like he is white as snow here.

Yeah, I know. And I've always known he was an idiot. I've defended him my entire life.

But why defend poor choices? I get feeling sad when he messes up, but you don't have to leap to his defense.

[Deleted]

Also, if she's a grade A fuck up anyway, people already know this. A reposting of a trite phrase doesn't negate over all shebeastness.

[imoan]

I think you need to stop clinging to the fact that you need to keep defending (or getting mad on his behalf) this dumbfuck just because you share genes.

[sprky79]

Nov 20, 2012 16:42:21 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Also, if she's a grade A fuck up anyway, people already know this. A reposting of a trite phrase doesn't negate over all shebeastness.

Good heavens I'm glad you're here :-)

[Deleted]

Nov 20, 2012 16:44:09 GMT -5 imoan said:

I think you need to stop clinging to the fact that you need to keep defending (or getting mad on his behalf) this dumbfuck just because you share genes.

Exactly.

My brother is in an almost similar situation. Got his HS gf pregnant but he stayed with her for a year and a half before breaking it off. He says she tricked him into signing away his custody to his kid, but that's total bullshit. He's just too dumb to read the fucking papers. My mom isn't allowed to see her grandson, yet she doesn't try to get grandparent rights or whatever the hell they're called.

Now my nephews mom is partying her ass off while her kid deals with major attitude and aggression, makes him sit in crusty diapers because she spends all her money at the strippers and on tattoos, and what's my brother doing? Oh yeah, nothing. I tried defending him for 2.5 seconds before he told me he "accidentally" signed away his rights. Now I just think he's a fuck up, deadbeat dad.

[Deleted]

Nov 20, 2012 16:44:43 GMT -5 @sprky79 said:

Nov 20, 2012 16:42:21 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Also, if she's a grade A fuck up anyway, people already know this. A reposting of a trite phrase doesn't negate over all shebeastness.

Good heavens I'm glad you're here :-)

LOL, I do what I can.

[EmilieMadison]

Sometimes lying bitches get knocked up by guys who turn out to be deadbeat fathers.
Him being a deadbeat dad doesn't make her truthful or nice, just like her being a lying bitch doesnt make him an involved dad.

[lemondrop]

Nov 20, 2012 16:57:08 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Sometimes lying bitches get knocked up by guys who turn out to be deadbeat fathers.
Him being a deadbeat dad doesn't make her truthful or nice, just like her being a lying bitch doesnt make him an involved dad.

Ughhh, you guys are right. He definitely didn't come out of this (the whole situation) smelling like roses.

[sprky79]

So why are defending this guy? Please tell me you are just lookign out for your similar DNA....

[lemondrop]

Nov 20, 2012 16:40:26 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

Nov 20, 2012 16:25:14 GMT -5 lemondrop said:

Yeah, I know. And I've always known he was an idiot. I've defended him my entire life.

But why defend poor choices? I get feeling sad when he messes up, but you don't have to leap to his defense.

Some of it is because people have always brought it to me. They've felt a need to come share with me the latest shit they heard he did, even if none of it was based in fact. I never understood why people had to do that. I mean, if the situation were reversed, would they want to discuss the same thing about their family member?

Old habits and all...

[EmilieMadison]

Nov 20, 2012 17:06:00 GMT -5 lemondrop said:

Nov 20, 2012 16:57:08 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Sometimes lying bitches get knocked up by guys who turn out to be deadbeat fathers.
Him being a deadbeat dad doesn't make her truthful or nice, just like her being a lying bitch doesnt make him an involved dad.

Ughhh, you guys are right. He definitely didn't come out of this (the whole situation) smelling like roses.

No, he isnt smelling like roses. He stinks, because he is CHOOSING to be a deadbeat dad. I hope you understand that.

[Deleted]

Okay but just because the specifics might now be true, doesn't mean dude isn't a douche of the highest order. I guess I'm trying to understand why he's worthy of defense. Does he feed the poor? Take in stray puppies?

What's so redeemable about this guy that it matters what people think?