sorta@ s/o whats the best way to say i dont want k

[Deleted]

Kids?

Yesterday's convo about kids has really been swirling around in my little brain. Like I said yesterday, I never bring up this topic irl, but will answer when asked.

From a mom's view, what's the most appropriate and least offensive way to respond to the "you don't want kids?" question.

[jennlin]

"kids aren't for me" would work just fine with me...but to people who are more picky, you would need to say something along the lines of "i like being able to have flexibility to travel as soon as i see a great opportunity, and not worry about child care, school schedules, or homeschooling. i'll be the cool aunt that shows pictures from around the world."

[karebear219]

I would just say I'm not interested in having my own children.

I think a lot of people think when a couple makes that choice it means they don't like kids and that's not always true. I'm not sure how to get around that though.

[Deleted]

Nov 21, 2012 11:20:14 GMT -5 @lauralynne said:

"you know all that sleep you're not getting...."

LOL :Y:

I do love to sleep.

[amandasw]

I don't see anything wrong with "we just decided not to have children" if pressed for an answer. I guess I never really thought it was *that* big of a deal to anyone whether someone has kids or not. You have different priorities. I don't see any point in pointing out what you supposedly can do that other people can't - they obviously value having kids more than you so it doesn't matter. My parents have traveled a ton, kids didn't stop them, they just brought us along and I don't think they saw that as a bad thing.

[fiddles]

I seriously don't get why people get up in arms if someone doesn't want kids. It's their own personal choice. I would never go and say to someone, "But kids are a blessing! They are the best!" I look at it the same way if someone says they don't want a dog. I don't go to them, " But why? Dogs are the best!"

It's their own personal choice.

[picksthemusic]

Nov 21, 2012 11:05:18 GMT -5 jennlin said:

"kids aren't for me" would work just fine with me...but to people who are more picky, you would need to say something along the lines of "i like being able to have flexibility to travel as soon as i see a great opportunity, and not worry about child care, school schedules, or homeschooling. i'll be the cool aunt that shows pictures from around the world."

I like this a lot. It's a lifestyle choice, and it's nobody else's business but yours. But I do like the answer of being the "cool aunt".

[amandasw]

Nov 21, 2012 12:26:09 GMT -5 kooshball said:

"I love kids but we decided to not have kids"

When people tell me they don't want kids but say nothing about how they like them, I just assume they are hateful childfree people. I have known a few too many hatefull childfree folks so maybe I am sensitive to that.

ok, this is the winner. I mean, you like your niece right? Therefore you don't hate all kids and THIS answer should satisfy anyone.

ETA: it could end with "I love kids but we decided to not have our own, I love being the cool aunt!"

[Deleted]

I would just say something along the lines of, "I love being the cool aunt/family friend but being able to give them back. We're happy with our lifestyle right now the way it is."
You leave it a little "open" so that people who stupidly get offended think you're not dead set against it while also saying you do like children, just don't want your own.

Of course, I'm a brat and any one who would get offended by someone not wanting children deserves to be offended. It's not THEIR life.

[mkate710]

Yeah, I think the "we love kids, but they're not for us" thing is fine.

It irks me when people hassle us about this. We're undecided, but definitely not planning on kids any time soon. For all I know, we could have kids if we wanted. But what if I really wanted kids and had just found out I couldn't have any? You never know what people could be dealing with, and to just assume and bring it up is just impolite IMO. I can't imagine doing that. Nor would I try to convince someone wanting a kid that they should not have one. Mind your own beeswax. /hops off soapbox.

[tacocat]

I hate that people think it is any of their business. I am fairly private (well not with you guys) and I don't want to share our issues with people and think it is the same for anyone. I don't have rights to question anybodies uterus...

[Deleted]

Nov 21, 2012 12:37:45 GMT -5 @amandasw said:

ok, this is the winner. I mean, you like your niece right? Therefore you don't hate all kids and THIS answer should satisfy anyone.

ETA: it could end with "I love kids but we decided to not have our own, I love being the cool aunt!"

This!

Or, if its people that won't somehow get back to your mom, end all discussion with, "We're unable to have them. I don't want to talk about it." I have no issue with being rude to some nosey people.

[dawnyp]

I find that brutal honesty or a very snarky answer always works to stop additional questions. I don't get why people feel the need to ask this question.

[larzhope]

Nov 21, 2012 15:17:13 GMT -5 @sfgal530 said:

So I am reallllly late to the game... but what kids convo was this yesterday?

sfgal, YGPM