Just when I thought the IL's to be were normal....

[crabby]

So, until the last month, I really enjoyed FI family. They don't live around us and we only see them a few times a year, but I always thought I would love for them to live closer.

WRONG!!!!

(This is probably going to get long, sorry in advance)

We were going to rent a house on a lake for our wedding and get married in the back yard. My family was going to stay for the first few nights and we offered to his family that they could rent the house the rest of the week for next to nothing if they wanted to. FMIL and both FSILs and their families were going to do that. FI called his mom to tell him that he had to extend the offer to his dad and stepmom to stay at the house as well, just to give her a heads up. She seemed totally fine with it, so he called his dad and he and his wife wanted to stay too. FMIL calls a day later all emotional and saying she can't stay with his dad for a week, blah, blah, blah. (Mind you they are both remarried) The best part of it was that after she had her say, she said her H was having surgery on Thursday (this was on a Monday) and she would talk to him more about it after the surgery. This was about a month or more ago and she has never brought it up again.

So, FI tells his sisters and dad that the cost has likely changed, but they are all still ok with it. So, we sign the contract and pay the deposit, figuring if his mom decided to stay, it will just be cheaper for everyone.

Cut to this past Sunday. FI is at work and I'm shopping. He texts me to tell me that his family is ridiculously redneck and am I sure I want to marry into that. I ask what's going on and he tells me he'll tell me when we get home, but to think Jerry Springer and Cops without the sex. As it turns out, one of his sisters and his dad had a huge falling out that resulted in his dad going to the cops only to find out that the sister had already called the cops. So, sister calls to tell us she'll pay her part of the house but she won't be staying there. (and FI would never have her pay because she doesn't have a lot of $).

We've decided we will not be getting married at the house way too expensive for just a couple of nights), nor will we be covering the cost of any of his family to stay anywhere for the wedding. We are now out the $500 deposit. I so wish I didn't feel strongly about having our families at the wedding so we could just elope.

If you made it through all of this - here's a drink for you! :drink:

[BettyBookWorm]

Yikes!!! I'm sorry. Family weirdness is the worst.

[Chirp]

Ah... weddings.

Bottoms up!

[partiallysunny]

[Muddled]

Elope!

[motzie]

Nov 21, 2012 13:59:14 GMT -5 Muddled said:

Elope!

For real.

[cuddlyevil]

Nov 21, 2012 15:48:13 GMT -5 motzie said:

Nov 21, 2012 13:59:14 GMT -5 Muddled said:

Elope!

For real.

Indeed.

[ECB]

Eh, remarried or not, I don't blame your MIL for not wanting to stay in the same house as her ex for week. I think that's 100% normal.

[Deleted]

Boo! That sucks crabby!

[mandimija]

I'm on the elope bandwagon, though I do get where your FMIL is coming from. Couldn't she just have said, up front, that she wasn't comfortable staying in the same house as her XH and his family? I'm sure that you and your FI would have thought this was NBD.

[crabby]

Mandimija - that was our thought. Just tell us upfront.

[ECB]

Nov 22, 2012 20:24:05 GMT -5 crabby said:

Mandimija - that was our thought. Just tell us upfront.

But what would that do? You say you "had to" extend the offer to his dad. That comes across as it was going to happen no matter what. So - what's the point of her saying it bothers her? Would tha have changed anything?

[mandimija]

Nov 22, 2012 20:49:53 GMT -5 ECB said:

Nov 22, 2012 20:24:05 GMT -5 crabby said:

Mandimija - that was our thought. Just tell us upfront.

But what would that do? You say you "had to" extend the offer to his dad. That comes across as it was going to happen no matter what. So - what's the point of her saying it bothers her? Would tha have changed anything?

Good point, ECB. Ask the FMIL if it would bug her for her XH to stay under the same roof, *then* decide whether to extend the offer to XFIL. Or just solve the issue altogether by not extending the offer to either of them to avoid any slighted feelings (whether the 'slighted' feelings should exist or not is another story).

Regardless, it's water under the bridge now. *shrugs* The whole situation stinks.

[crabby]

Yes we probably would've figured out another arrangement. Oh well, it is water under the bridge. We are researching options to go away and get married by ourselves.

[Muddled]

I understand her not wanting to stay in the same house. Eloping is just better.

FAmily obligations are stressful and I like to avoid them.