Vent: The holidays make me sad in my pants. (long)

[Deleted]

H has a terrible attitude towards the holidays, but on the other hand I love it. He is anti putting up lights on the house, won't let me get on the roof to do it and thinks its a waste of money to hire someone to do it. He grumbles at me listening to Christmas music and changes the station or starts making snide comments after 3 songs.

We've never put up a tree in the 6 years that we've been together and he's already said that if we ever do then the tree doesn't go up till December and it comes from a parking lot stand and not a tree farm. I grew up only going to tree farms. :-(

I'm already done Christmas shopping and I'm just waiting for the cards to be delivered (Friday) so that I can get those out. I know it's not just him being sad about his friends death since its always been like this. I know things won't change, but it still makes me a little sad. Especially now, realizing this might be my last Christmas in Seattle, at least for a while. I realize I'm not religious and it doesn't mean the same thing to me as most of you, I love the feeling of the holidays, the magic and the fun.

It just makes me sad that the holidays are always done before they being at the husky house.

So, thanks if you've made it this far. :-(

[georgeharrison]

Oh boo. That's sad.

[karebear219]

hugs UW! I'm sorry Mr. Husky is such a scrouge. My dad never got into the Christmas spirit growing up but we just did our own thing any way. Any time you want to do something Christmasy give me a ring. I'd love to go.

[dawnyp]

Sorry Mr Husky sounds very much like me. I really dislike anything Christmas until December. H loves to listen to Christmas music which will drive me nuts. I like music starting at about December 23rd and then it is over in 2 days. We have a small artifical tree as I'm allergic and that's the only way a tree is going up.

Don't get me wrong I love the holiday and enjoy decorating the house I just dislike the length of time.

[tacocat]

I am sorry husky! Does he know how much it means to you? Maybe you could compromise on a tree from a tree farm in December? I would go to tree farm with you

[mkate710]

Ohhh UW that sucks!! My H wasn't into the holidays at all when we met, but they've totally grown on him and he went kind of really overboard putting up lights outside yesterday. I would be really sad and honestly, probably resentful if he hadn't come around. I'm sorry your H isn't into it. The holidays are an awesome distraction from the mundane-ness of everyday life, and they're worth getting into.

And yeah, I would totally go to a tree farm with you. We have a fake tree, but I was secretly hoping it wouldn't light up this year so we could go cut down a fresh tree. Maybe next year.

[FrozenSunshine]

I wish I still lived there. We could celebrate Christmas together and our husbands could be bah humbugs on the couch together.

Does he get mad if you decorate around him? That's what I do.

[Deleted]

I'm really sorry! Is there any particular reason why he's such a major scrooge? And since it matters to YOU, why can't he just suck it up for YOUR sake?! I say, get yourself a damn tree in spite of him. Give him options: either I get on the roof for the lights or we hire someone, A or B, there is no option C.
**HUGS**

[sarack]

That makes me feel really bad. I feel like relationships are about compromise and it doesn't sound like he's budging at all. It's not fair for you to not have any of your holiday things and should still be able to enjoy them in your own home. I say, if you wanna use your money to hire people to put lights up, do it, its your money. mr uw gets a thumbs down from sarack today.

i'm going to miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[larzhope]

My H is the same way. I had never had a fake tree til I met H. I finally convinced him to get a real tree last year for the first time and it was a disaster and he bitched the whole time we are going back to the fake tree this year since we'll be traveling during the holidays, but if it were up to H, we wouldn't decorate at all.

It's definitely a bummer. I try to ignore it, but I feel your pain.

[fiddles]

Aww big hugs husky. J is being a grinch this year and it's pissing me off. We are going to SD and he feels we don't have to decorate because "We are leaving before Christmas."

How come he doesn't like decorating or putting up a tree?

[llh0211]

Aw, I'm sorry. H used to be a bit of a grinch as well. It definitely puts a damper on things. I'm sure you have, but maybe tell him how important it is to you, and how much you'd appreciate him putting in a little more effort?

hugs!

[madDawg228]

I'm the grinch in my household. My advice would be to voice your feelings to your H (like you did in the OP). If my H were to tell me something like that, I would feel like an ass and try to fake at least a little holiday cheer.

[InBetweenDays]

I'm sorry

I'm not religous at all either, but Christmas is very special to me because of the excitement, time spent with family, memories, etc. I agree with sarack that it doesn't sound like he is compromising at all and I would speak with him about it. Find some middle ground.

I'd see if he'd be willing to get a tree this year, and maybe just get one from a lot. You can go to Swanson's Nursery - not the same as going to a tree farm but they have reindeer and cider, a little Christmas train and during certain weekends you can take your photo in a sleigh pulled by a live reindeer.

[jennlin]

marriage is not only about compromise, but making the other person happy. would your h be UNhappy if you put up christmas lights? if not, then pay someone to do it. end of story.