Hoping I can get some advice here. I've been having a hard time lately with DH. We live like roommates and aren't intimate often. I have been mean and condescending towards him in the past and it is getting worse. I love him, he is a great dad and husband, but I'm not in love with him I don't think. I've been on an rx for depression, which I take randomly. I've been thinking about going to counseling to see if that would help some issues.
Can anyone give any advice? I hate feeling like this and he doesn't deserve it.
Post by fussbucket on Nov 25, 2012 22:13:34 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Depression sucks for the sufferer and their loved ones.
My advice:
1. Go to counseling straightaway for your depression in general and to figure out why you're being mean and condescending to an otherwise "great" dad and husband. Have other people in your past treated you like this (parents, other trusted people you've been close to)?
2. Take your depression meds as prescribed. If there are side-effects you do not like, talk to your doctor about them. There are lots of options out there and many people try out a few different drugs/dosages to find what works best for them. Sexual side-effects are a common complaint with anti-depressants (to say nothing of depression itself), so this specifically is something to talk with both your doctor and your H about (doesn't have to be at the same time, of course!).
Post by bullygirl979 on Nov 25, 2012 22:38:38 GMT -5
Those meds don't work unless you take them everyday for ~6 weeks. They are doing jack by taking them randomly. And I would recommend both individual and marital counseling.
Like the others have said, find a therapist and take your medication consistently. If you don't like something about it, go see your doctor/psychiatrist (whoever prescribed it) and ask about other options.
My recommendation for a therapist is someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) because it has good evidence showing it to be effective in alleviating depression. In fact, the combination of meds & talk therapy has the best outcome in studies.
Also, if you're overwhelmed by seeing a therapist (which I think you should do no matter what), you could start with something like the book "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns.