I'm beginning to think my life is much like a soap opera. You guys want to hear some drama? This is what I got to deal with today. Forgive me, as this will get lengthy. I'll try to keep it as concise as possible.
Here is the cast of characters (names have been changed):
Wes – H’s former bff. He was the best man at our wedding. He has since become a very dear friend to me, as he was the one that told me H was still with the other woman, when he swore he wasn’t. I joke that I get him, his wife & baby in the divorce.
Susie – The other woman
Holly – Susie's bff.
Now, another bit of background info. H, Wes, Susie & Holly all work for the same company. H & Holly work in office in AZ. Susie works from home in AZ. Wes has more of an executive position, in CA. Wes & Holly have become friends, as Wes is often in AZ for business at that office. Wes doesn’t really know Susie, since she works from home, but he has some contact with her, as he & H used to be bff's, and they work for the same company.
Holly had begun to see H’s ways, and that he was likely lying to Susie. Her & Wes have had many conversations about the situation. Wes passes on a lot of things I’ve told him to Holly, in hopes that she could maybe get Susie to see that H is a lying liar who lies. This has been going on for the past month or so.
It all came out today. I got a FB message from Holly, (she found me via Wes’s FB) telling me that she was with Susie, and that she told her about a FB tag from when H & I went to Vegas to try to “work things out”. She asked if I’d be willing to talk to her. I said yes, I would, I’d prefer not to actually speak with her, but would text or email. I gave her my info, and she passed it on to Susie.
A couple minutes later, I get a text from Susie, asking what H & I’s status is, if we went to Vegas. She had plenty of other questions, which I answered completely honestly. So it opened up a huge shit storm. I found out so much, which absolutely sickened me.
Some of the gems:
He told her our marriage had been over for years. He said we slept in separate beds, in separate bedrooms. (not the case at all. Our marriage was far from perfect, but we shared a bed until the day I left)
He finally admitted he went to Vegas with me. He told her it was a miserable time, filled with tears, and we slept in separate beds then too. (Again, definitely not the case.)
He had her take care of the cats for him, while he was in Vegas with me.
They have never broken up. Even after I discovered the affair. When he swore he broke it off, and we were working things out.
He told her that he filed for divorce before I ever left AZ, in May.
I sent her several screen shots of text messages between he & I, where he professed his love to me, asked me to move back to AZ, talking about him trying to move back up here. Messages where he flat out denied his relationship with her to me. The most recent slew of them this past week. She would forward the messages to him, and he’d claim that I altered them, and didn’t send the ones where he told me he was happy with Susie, and to move on. She says she doesn't believe anything he says anymore, which I hope holds true, as she has a daughter that has been innocently dragged into this.
Oh it goes on. And on. And on. It’s way way worse than I ever imagined. And yes, papers are being drawn up now. I should get them this week, and then just need the signatures & to file. I cannot freaking wait. I’ll have a countdown to my divorce being final in my siggy, I’m sure.
If you got through that, you deserve a cookie. And maybe an adult beverage. I'm too lazy to search for a cookie image, but here's a drink: :drink: :beer:
I am so sorry, i can't believe that people live like this, lying to people they should care about I'm glad for you though that you're able to move on and start over!
Post by camelblossom on Nov 26, 2012 2:13:39 GMT -5
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I just accidentally stumbled across this thread, and we don't know each other at all, but ((((hugs)))). Hopefully this is where things turn around for you.
Thanks. It's ridiculous. I have had no desire to reconcile for quite awhile, and his constant manipulations & lies haven't affected me. But this? Ugh. It makes me sick. Why waste my time? Seriously. He had no intentions of breaking things off with Susie. Ever. Why not just let me go? I moved 1000 miles away, and he still effed with me. It's disgusting.
Sorry to vent here. But it's late and I don't want to bother anyone. Ugh.
I know it's an awful thing to have to go through a divorce....but really, you are lucky that his true colors came out and you are free from that. I don't understand how grown men can act like this....just baffles me.
I know it's an awful thing to have to go through a divorce....but really, you are lucky that his true colors came out and you are free from that. I don't understand how grown men can act like this....just baffles me.
I agree. You are the lucky one in all this. You're away from his crap.
Omg, thinking of you through all this. It is seriously like one of those movies where you're rooting for the girl to leave that fucker. i'm so sorry llh! I'm so happy you got out and are moving on. And i'm so sorry that it is all so much more hurtful/crazy than you imagined.. i can't imagine how it would feel. Sending vibes that things hurry up.
Thank you ladies. I appreciate the support. I'm just in awe of the length he's gone, and all the lies he's told both Susie & I. It's crazy.
I am saving all the text messages from her. I don't think things will get nasty in the divorce. There's nothing to fight about... We have no kids, no property. I took everything I wanted when I moved here. But yes, I will save them. As I've saved all our text messages.
And, yes, I am so thankful that his true colors have come out, that we don't have any kids together, and it'll all be over with soon. It still makes me sick that he could lie to me so easily. And for so long. It seriously has me questioning every little thing throughout the entiretly of our relationship.
I met H online. He was living in CA at the time. We talked for a few weeks, and he came up here to visit his parents. We met in person at that time. After that, we did long distance for another month, and he moved up here.
We dated for 2 years before we got married. Two years of him living up here... not counting the couple months before he moved.
He had friends in CA before he moved. I have become close to Wes, his former bff. I never became very close to his others. Just aquaintances. We would see them maybe once a year or so.
He never made any really close friends here, in WA. We would do things with my friends, but he never really developed friendships of his own.
Wow, just...wow. I guess that makes it a little easier to forgive the other woman, since she was behaving under the impression of separate beds, etc. Ugh, I'm so sorry it makes you even question the validity of the good times, too. Oh I just want to scoop you in a big hug and then go break his knees!!!!!