Appropriate behavior as a guest

[Muddled]

Let's define it. Please tell me if the following things are approprate for a guest.

If you answer yes, please tell me if YOU would feel comfortable doing them in someone else's home.


A. Taking up the entire couch at all times so that no one else has a place to sit

B. Not offering to help with cooking

C. Not offering to help with after-dinner clean-up

D. Hanging your legs over arm-rests on couches or armchairs

E. Leaving the door open when you change clothes

F. Brushing your teeth in the living room

[imoan]

You want I should stab your MIL?

And the answer to all these is OBVIOUSLY no, not appropriate.

[bowies]

E., but only if I'm staying at your place.

I do B and C at my parents' house but that's because my mom is totally OCD about that stuff. It stresses both of us out if I try to help.

[fussbucket]

I don't think B or C are necessarily deal-breakers if you are a known liability in these areas, but if you are you make up for it by taking your hosts out to a nice dinner one night or finding other ways to help out around the house.

[Muddled]

Bowies, I like seeing your boobs! MIL's, not so much.

Regarding B and C, I would have said no to C had she offered, but I might have given her a cutting board and some onions or something. Our kitchen is too small for people to be in there. Whether the answer is yes or no, I still think it is a nice thing to at least offer.

I realize I am super extra sensitive to this particular guest, but, my word, she just makes herself right at home.

[Deleted]

None of these things are ok.

[partiallysunny]

B and D I would answer yes to.

B: I would offer to help but no way would I offer to cook. I think that would offend the chef.

D: I'm a draper. I'm sorry. Edit: this depends on the persons house, of course. I do it at the ILs and my parents but I don't do it at grandma's.

[margarita]

I'll admit, I'm occasionally guilty of B and C, depending on who is hosting.

The rest of it though? Not okay. How hard is it to shut the door when you're changing your clothes?? Ew.

[bowies]

I do have nice boobs. It'd be inappropriate not to share.

[dixienormous]

Um... at least OFFER. My mom was annoying the shit out of me with the offering to help but still.

As for the rest, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Did I mention ew?

[sparksfly]

At my cousin's house I do not help with the cooking. I stay out of the way. I do however assist with getting the food to the table.

And I do help clear the table, most year's anyway.

At my in-laws, by the time we get there, everything is about done and my MIL makes her kids help set the table.

The rest.....ummmmm....Hell to the no!

[Deleted]

I would also at least offer.

[cuddlyevil]

None of them are okay, though you may get a pass on some based on your age.

If don't help cook or set the table, I will help clean up and put away food.

[interro]

None are okay. Your MIL sucks.

[Muddled]

It's true, Bowies. You should have shared more.

[BettyBookWorm]

A. Taking up the entire couch at all times so that no one else has a place to sit -- not appropriate


B. Not offering to help with cooking -- not appropriate


C. Not offering to help with after-dinner clean-up
-- not appropriate

D. Hanging your legs over arm-rests on couches or armchairs -- not appropriate


E. Leaving the door open when you change clothes -- not appropriate


F. Brushing your teeth in the living room-- WTF? -- not appropriate

[malibu]

Wow, your MIL is pretty inappropriate.

[Muddled]

There's something to be said for stating the obvious. lol

[dixienormous]

Can you trade her in for a not broken model?

[Muddled]

Wouldn't that be lovely, Dixie? Unfortunately, I really like her son.

[dixienormous]

Keep him, get rid of her. Throw Mama From The Train or something.

[macmars45]

I do A, D and F when I visit my parents' house. I use to do E before there were BILs and my H in the picture. I only have sisters so it was never a big deal growing up.

Anywhere besides my parents' house they are inappropriate. Except maybe B & C depending on where/with who you're staying.

[smock]

Oh god, my mom brushes her teeth in the living room when she visits. It drives me bonkers. Last time I even said, "You know, some people consider it inappropriate to brush your teeth in the living room." She just kept brushing and the next day said, "I got your hint, but I like doing it my way."

Now Mr. Smock knows where I get my obstinacy!

[Muddled]

Nov 26, 2012 22:25:18 GMT -5 smock said:

Oh god, my mom brushes her teeth in the living room when she visits. It drives me bonkers. Last time I even said, "You know, some people consider it inappropriate to brush your teeth in the living room." She just kept brushing and the next day said, "I got your hint, but I like doing it my way."

Now Mr. Smock knows where I get my obstinacy!

Why oh why do they do this? What is the benefit? Will you PLEASE ask your mom?

She left her little bag with her toothbrush in it in the living room and brushed her teeth dry. So weird.

[Muddled]

Y'all, I get what you're saying regarding B and C, but I do not think it is appropriate not to offer. You don't have to help, but you do have to offer (of course you should help if your host takes you up on your offer). And if you are the only one drinking coffee in the morning, you should just clean it up yourself. You don't have to put your mug away away, but you do have to empty out the grounds and wash your mug or put it in the dishwasher. This is what is appropriate in this situation. If you expect people to serve you, you should be staying in a hotel or eating at a resaurant.


srgw, I do not think you will be invited to stay with me ever. lol.