would you let a family member stay with you

[aliceinfairyland]

For an indeterminate amount of time? What ground rules would you lay down? Would you charge them?

My favorite BIL got a new job but hasn't been able to find a place to live closer to his new job. His lease is up. I don't care if he stays here, provided he has his own bedroom, picks up after himself and contributes something toward the household (monetary).

What would your other conditions be?

[bowies]

Yes, but there would be a strict timeframe. I'm all about being supportive to a family member in crappy circumstances, but I do not tolerate someone without a plan for independence. My XH wanted to move his little brother in with us when our marriage was in the shitter and I said no. His brother was/is a rolling stone without any real sense of responsibility. Last I heard he was still unemployed and living with XH and his wife. It's been over 3 years. I assume it's a permanent way of life for them at this point.

[macmars45]

Yes, but H and I talked that 2 weeks to a month would be as long as they could stay. We live in a tiny 1BR/1BA apt so that factors in somewhat.

They'd have to clean up after themselves, be quiet after 10pm (only because even quiet sounds carry in our little place) and do their own laundry. I wouldn't charge them.

[fussbucket]

I'd probably discuss expectations around sharing of food and/or costs of family meals. Maybe figure out what his incremental share of water and power bills would be if it's something of any consideration. Beyond day-to-day household "operating costs" like food/utilities, I'd only charge rent for the room if there was some opportunity cost to me of their using it. IOW, if it was a room I'd never set foot otherwise, I wouldn't bother charging for the room.

[moolarkey]

We let our SIL stay with us. H's brother was in college in town, she wanted to move down here to be near him but not live together. She lived with us about 6 months. She made a small amount of rent, just to cover water/electric. It worked fine for us but it doesn't always work for everyone.

Clarification: She was not SIL then, she was BIL's new girlfriend. They got married the day after he graduated from college.

[gbck]

It would depend on the family member.
Both of my sisters and my 'almost sister' have open invitations to 'couch surf' if they ever needed to.

BUT, I would 1-put a lease and expectations in writing. This is for EVERYONE'S protection--and because things are easy to forget and 2-put expectations and 'house rules' in said lease/list o' expectations. "obvious" things are not obvious. So rules for houseguests/sleepovers/boyfriends/girlfriends, rules for our pets, cleaning/chores/whatever etc. 3-have a timeframe I expected them out by. And a secondary 'drop dead date' that we'd acctually start evictions on.
Any of the above could be changed during the thing--life changes.

(and I know I've got a good setup, since if someone moved into our basement, they have a shower and a kitchenette down there, the half bath at the top of the stairs can be 'theirs' and...it's almost a separate apartment. almost)

[dixienormous]

there would need to be a time frame and he'd have to be actively looking (going out after work to see apartments etc). He would also have to clean up after himself, assist in the chores and if possible, kick in for groceries and the like.

[partiallysunny]

Maybe a cousin or one of my sister-in-laws, but (like others have said) there would be a timeline and a contract laying out all of the guidelines.

[Muddled]

Like others, I would not charge for the room. I would expect him to contribute to groceries and other costs that would increase due to his staying there. I would not allow him to stay indeterminately. There would be a deadline for sure. We would have a sit down to go over all house rules and expectations.

[ECB]

I've recently offered a room to my aunt. Doesn't look like she'll be taking us up on it, but I did offer.

But as others said - if this were to happen, there would be a discussion around it. How long, basic expectations (house rules, so to speak), etc.

As for charging - it would all depend on the 'why' of why they are staying w/ us. Even if I didn't charge rent, though, I would expect (in my case) my aunt to help buy food, and that sort of thing. She wouldn't be getting a full free ride.

If it's for a short period o ftime, I would NOT expect them to help w/ the bills. The real impact on our electricity, water, etc, would be so minimal - I just couldn't see insisting she pitch in.

Thta's where the rent would play in, for me.

[Muddled]

If this is to be a long term thing, you probably actually don't want to charge rent. If you do it the right way, you technically have to count it as income and whatnot and declare it on your taxes. It's better to have him spend the same amount of money on something else- pay a bill for you, buy groceries, etc.

In my case, 2 weeks with 3 people (one of them being BIL) in this place would be about a week and a half longer than it would take for me to go crazy.

[aliceinfairyland]

I was thinking $20 a week for groceries- that would cover groceries and electricity, which would be the major expenses. DH was thinking something like $25.

We have a basement room that he could make his own.

Really, at this point, my biggest concern is that I'm going to have to start wearing clothes around the house.