Should I go visit the IL's without J?

[kwpnjumper55]

So I kinda dislike my MIL right now. Besides the last minute stay at my house, she brought a kitten, told us it was up for adoption, and refused to give it to D even though J said it was ok.

Beside the point, MIL asked us to go to Cali to visit their side of the family for Xmas because SIL ( the one family member I like) will be visiting from Texas and MIL's sister is supposedly dying and won't be around much longer. ( I say supposedly because no diagnosis has been made)

I have 4-5 days where I could drive down and spend time with the IL's. this would be a 14 hour drive with 2 toddlers that would probably take place at night. J can't go because he can't take the time off of work. MIL wants me to go anyways, but I feel like the yellow sheep ( haha) of the family when I'm around them.

Should I say no? Or should I suck it up and drive down?

[BlackCanary]

What about this kitten thing? Wow...just wow...

If it was me, I wouldn't want to make that drive without DH. Especially with two toddlers. I've made that drive to Cali a few times by myself, it's tiring.

[amandasw]

Nope. No way, no how would I do that.

[dana86]

No, for that long of a car ride with two young kids it wouldn't happen. Not to mention if things are going real well with people that are going to be there it's not worth the stress and everything else that you would be putting yourself in.

[jennlin]

say no. it's not safe to drive through the night alone with the kids.

eta: if you can fly, i would go.

[kwpnjumper55]

Yeah he will back me up, she's just guilt tripping me over the dying aunt

[FrozenSunshine]

No way I'd drive with two toddlers for 14 hours, if I only had a few days to spend with IL's. I'd save the $$ in case the whole family needed to go for a funeral.

[kwpnjumper55]

Oh yeah, and this is the MIL that doesn't give the boys presents for Christmas, Birthdays, ect

[FrozenSunshine]

Teases them with kittens and not acknowledging holidays? Why does she expect you to?

[Deleted]

Absolutely not. Ditto Jennlin's excuse.

[amandasw]

Nov 27, 2012 0:13:43 GMT -5 FrozenSunshine said:

Teases them with kittens and not acknowledging holidays? Why does she expect you to?

this pretty much sums it up perfectly, lol

[mkate710]

Noooooooo. My in-laws also aren't big into holidays, and I am. H and I made an agreement that while they may be welcome to spend holidays at our house, we won't spend holidays visiting them. We did Thanksgiving a couple years ago and it sucked. H and I also have an agreement that I don't spend time alone with his mom, period. H will stand up to his mom, and she knows it, she she treats me even worse if he leaves the room.

Long answer, but the short answer is no. Don't put yourself through that!

[Deleted]

Driving alone? No way jose. Flying? Possibly, but probably not.

[sarack]

i wouldn't go.

[georgeharrison]

I'm late to the game, but no I wouldn't go.

[llh0211]

Also late to the game, and also agreeing with everyone else. Don't go. 14 hours in a car, with 2 toddlers sounds terrible. Especially without J to help out.

[fiddles]

No. Not sure where in California you're going but wherever it is you're probably driving through the mountains. Driving through the mountains at night in the winter time? Hell no. We did that a few years ago and it was so bad we had to drive via the GPS unit because it was so bad we could barely see in front of our car.

[madDawg228]

Nov 27, 2012 12:32:05 GMT -5 fiddles said:

No. Not sure where in California you're going but wherever it is you're probably driving through the mountains. Driving through the mountains at night in the winter time? Hell no. We did that a few years ago and it was so bad we had to drive via the GPS unit because it was so bad we could barely see in front of our car.

I agree with everyone else, I wouldn't do it.

fiddles is right to be scared to drive in the mountains during the winter, it reminds me of a story I saw on 20/20: (be warned: it's very sad ) abcnews.go.com/2020/kati-kim-tells-heart-wrenching-story-family-ended/story?id=12884927#.ULT5pGcgwdU
eta: and that was the result with TWO parents, I can't imagine what would have happened to the poor family with only one adult.

[hallows]

I wouldn't. That sounds like a nightmare.