I am too awesome to feel this way.

[Deleted]

Plus you have cool hair and cool dogs

[wrathofkuus]

My first instinct is to list people who should never be loved by anyone ever, and show you that you're not on that list. Heh.

The stuff you listed is good, but I think that you're probably loved most for your silly, inconsequential little details.

[bullygirl979]

And you take awesome pictures.

[winecat]

Nov 27, 2012 16:46:21 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

And you take awesome pictures.

Awesome pictures of dogs!

[formerlyak]

It messes with your head for a while. I totally get that. I have had several conversations with fi over the past two years about this, and how I know logically that he loves me but because of my divorce and things that ex said to me, sometimes I need him to remind me why (he says he loves me because I am smart and caring and am a good mom and he likes who he is when he is with me better than when he isn't with me). Over time, that feeling of being incapable of being loved kind of just went away.

Hang in there ... as they say, "This too shall pass."

[redredwine]

I was feeling in the dumps on Saturday, too...so I busted out my camera and did a personal boudiour shoot. Yes, ladies, I did. It's something I want to do for a while and my last set of b-pics were for XH. While they were awesome and made me feel amazing, they had bad association and I didn't have the files anyways (I had them professional done and made an album).

THe shoot was fun and out of about 200 shots (posing yourself and auto-timing is difficult!) I had a couple that were actually pretty damn awesome! (ETA: They are classy & artistic)

So much that I just framed one and put it above my dresser when I might be feeling down.
Besides, this pic was post-divorce and I'm still fab.
I was pleased.

Just a small amount of what makes me awesome.

[Deleted]

Nov 27, 2012 16:51:30 GMT -5 redredwine said:

I was feeling in the dumps on Saturday, too...so I busted out my camera and did a personal boudiour shoot. Yes, ladies, I did. It's something I want to do for a while and my last set of b-pics were for XH. While they were awesome and made me feel amazing, they had bad association and I didn't have the files anyways (I had them professional done and made an album).

THe shoot was fun and out of about 200 shots (posing yourself and auto-timing is difficult!) I had a couple that were actually pretty damn awesome!

So much that I just framed one and put it above my when I might be feeling down.
Besides, this pic was post-divorce and I'm still fab.
I was pleased.

Just a small amount of what makes me awesome.

This is amazing! :Y:

[jojoandleo]

When my dad was sick from his alcoholism and I was with asshole, erm, XFI, I struggled with this. Why am I not good enough? the thing is, it isn't about ME not being good enough, it has to do with THEIR issues.

I love you, so you are totally loveable!

[dakotadangerdog]

Hugs mp! We've all felt like that at one point. Cheer up pretty girl! Lots of people love you

[jojoandleo]

Nov 27, 2012 23:26:51 GMT -5 mp said:

Thanks DDD & gypsy.

Gypsy, I'm 27. I started dating exH when I was 15! I know nothing else in my adult life... so the transition has been interesting to say the least.

WHOA! How did I not know this? Breaking up with your first love is ALWAYS the hardest, and the fact that you all were together THAT LONG, man. I am sorry.

I dated my HS BF for 4 1/2 years and when I broke up with him everyone was all "No, why? He's such a good guy!" But he wasn't the guy FOR ME. and I wasn't the girl for him, he just didn't have the guts to end it. had we stayed together, we probably would have ended up married and divorced within a few years.

[blackkitty]

This is probably obvious but it sounds like a self esteem issue.
Do you know what is at the heart of this? It's likely from childhood or maybe your marriage. I know for me my issues were extremely "deep" and very old. Like started when I was like 7. Once I got to the heart of the problem it was easier to solve but I am still a work in progress!

[mandimija]

I grew up very religious. I still am, but much more privately than before. XH was also very religious, but was more about the show than actually living it at home. My religious upbringing is part of what prevented me from living with him beforehand (I like to think that I would have discovered his abuse earlier and saved us both a lot of heartache), and part of the reason I stayed with him for so damn long. Lucky for me, some amazing people in our religious circle figured things out before I had to say anything. The ones who judged hurt, but I finally figured that if they couldn't see past their own judgment and see that the fact that a couple is still married does not mean that the home is not broken, then I had no need for them in my life. Their judgment was their issue, not mine.

XH *really* screwed with my head. Add in that I'd been with him from the time I was just barely 20 until I was 24 (I'm 26), and it was a scary thing to leave him. I can only imagine what it was like for you after so many years, and I applaud your bravery to do what was right for both of you.

I met Mijo about a year after leaving XH. For a while, I fought Mijo. He loved me so completely, and some of the things that XH had said had taken root in my head. I did not understand *why* this incredible, grounded guy could see me for what I was and not find fault with it. It took me a while to realize that XH's abuse was because of his issues, not mine. Like formerlyak, I had to ask him to remind me *why* he loved me. After a while, that need just went away.

You will get through this, and there is not a damn thing wrong with you. Sometimes God gives us specific experiences for reasons we don't know yet, or turns a bad situation into something for our good and His glory. We won't know until later. Until then, hang in there. You are awesome.

[bowies]

Nov 28, 2012 11:07:24 GMT -5 @gypsy said:

Wow, mp. You have me beat. I was 21-30+.

Not a first boyfriend or anything, but all of my 20s, basically.

I don't really remember life any other way.

Yeah me too. I met my XH right before I turned 20 and officially ended it a month before I turned 30.

Now I'm knocking on the door of 33 (gulp) and life is much better without him. WTF took me so long?

[lovelybb]

Nov 28, 2012 22:31:18 GMT -5 mandimija said:

I grew up very religious. I still am, but much more privately than before. XH was also very religious, but was more about the show than actually living it at home. My religious upbringing is part of what prevented me from living with him beforehand (I like to think that I would have discovered his abuse earlier and saved us both a lot of heartache), and part of the reason I stayed with him for so damn long. Lucky for me, some amazing people in our religious circle figured things out before I had to say anything. The ones who judged hurt, but I finally figured that if they couldn't see past their own judgment and see that the fact that a couple is still married does not mean that the home is not broken, then I had no need for them in my life. Their judgment was their issue, not mine.

XH *really* screwed with my head. Add in that I'd been with him from the time I was just barely 20 until I was 24 (I'm 26), and it was a scary thing to leave him. I can only imagine what it was like for you after so many years, and I applaud your bravery to do what was right for both of you.

I met Mijo about a year after leaving XH. For a while, I fought Mijo. He loved me so completely, and some of the things that XH had said had taken root in my head. I did not understand *why* this incredible, grounded guy could see me for what I was and not find fault with it. It took me a while to realize that XH's abuse was because of his issues, not mine. Like formerlyak, I had to ask him to remind me *why* he loved me. After a while, that need just went away.

You will get through this, and there is not a damn thing wrong with you. Sometimes God gives us specific experiences for reasons we don't know yet, or turns a bad situation into something for our good and His glory. We won't know until later. Until then, hang in there. You are awesome.

Great post! Thank you for sharing!