How does one go about "toughening up"?

[Deleted]

My boss told me that he recommended my for promotion(yay) but if I am going to go anywhere then I need to "toughen up" because I am too sensative.

How exaclty does one thoughen themselves up?

[MyName]

There's no crying in the executive suite!!! LOL

Have there been instances where you've demonstrated this sensitivity? Or is your boss just sexist? I would probably be offended and ask him what he meant by that, thereby giving him another example of me being oversensitive. Ha.

[lucky513]

start taking testerone



do you get offensive at criticism?

[Deleted]

Yes, shamefully my boss has seen me cry. He caught a perfect storm of stress, pms, extreme anger, a big fight between H and I and it bubbled over and exploded.

I get that this is not exceptable in a business environment, I am not disputing any of it (though I don't think I am really that sensative, it was just an accumulation of circumstances).

What baffles me is that he hinestly thinks that someone can just stop being so sensative. Like a switch you can just turn off.

[sapphire bou]

May 24, 2012 16:22:32 GMT -5 @kjewell said:

What baffles me is that he hinestly thinks that someone can just stop being so sensative. Like a switch you can just turn off.

If you really want the promotion, you'll figure out how to better handle the stress.

[sapphire bou]

But to offer advice:

If someone says something that strikes up that emotion, hold it in until a later time. Release either to your husband, by doing a deep breathing routine, yoga, running, something to get that anger/sadness/whatever out. After you've calmed down, if it's an issue that needs to be addressed, revisit it with that person in a calm, collected manner.

[alabasterangel]

It is not acceptable to cry in the office.

[darkling_glory]

Just excuse yourself from the situation any way you have to if you think you're going to cry.

Good luck with the promotion!

[honeydew1894]

May 24, 2012 21:07:39 GMT -5 alabasterangel said:

It is not acceptable to cry in the office.

This. Time to start acting your ass off When I get worked up (mind you, I get angry not sad), I just take a few breaths and say something like, "I'll need to think about this."

[eureka1017]

May 24, 2012 16:31:34 GMT -5 sapphire bou said:

But to offer advice:

If someone says something that strikes up that emotion, hold it in until a later time. Release either to your husband, by doing a deep breathing routine, yoga, running, something to get that anger/sadness/whatever out. After you've calmed down, if it's an issue that needs to be addressed, revisit it with that person in a calm, collected manner.

This :Y:
I usually go to the gym and work out my frustrations or I get an hour lunch so I usually do something that makes me happy rather than express the emotion. If its really been a hard day, I come home and tell my hubby.

[duff]

May 25, 2012 7:20:25 GMT -5 honeydew1894 said:

May 24, 2012 21:07:39 GMT -5 alabasterangel said:

It is not acceptable to cry in the office.

This. Time to start acting your ass off When I get worked up (mind you, I get angry not sad), I just take a few breaths and say something like, "I'll need to think about this."

This. There's nothing wrong with excusing yourself from the situation when you start to feel overwhelmed.

And even though it's nearly impossible to completely separate the two, you need to leave your home stress at home - the same way you'd leave your work stress at work.

[Deleted]

I think that with criticism, keep in mind that they aren't tearing you apart for fun...it's a way for you to do your job better.

[lizo11]

May 25, 2012 10:04:23 GMT -5 @otterama said:

I think that with criticism, keep in mind that they aren't tearing you apart for fun...it's a way for you to do your job better.

This is a great thing to remember.

[winofairy]

I am still trying to figure this one out.

[cowgirlcutie]

I'm also trying to figure that out but, I've been going by the "Fake it till you make it" mantra lately!