MIL has buyers remorse

[CakeLover]

I'm pretty sure my MIL has buyers remorse. She had a minivan for over 10 years. She recently bought a used Honda Pilot. I think she was looking for something smaller (CR-V and such). She's the type that can't confidently make a decision. I think she rushed herself due to the reliability of her van and the fact that we are coming home for the holidays.

We've talked on Skype and over emails. Each time we talk she encourages us to skip renting a car and just use the new car. Its not a feasible solution. We'll be splitting our time between 2 cities 2 hours apart for 3 weeks. SIL and her family are coming to town too and they'll need to use a vehicle to get around because they have no funds to rent a car. Shes offering the unreliable van to them and desperately wants us to use the Pilot. This would leave her with nothing. I've told her multiple times that we appreciate the offer but we're going to rent instead. We don't want to leave her without a car, we knew the SIL would take a vehicle, we can afford to rent and finally we don't feel like we should take the Pilot.

I think she would feel more confident in her decision if we would use the Pilot. I don't know if there is any point to this post.

[rosebudred]

I'm confused - Why would you using the Pilot make her more confident in her decision? Does she want you to drive it and compliment her new ride?

[dexteroni]

Nov 28, 2012 21:09:43 GMT -5 rosebudred said:

I'm confused - Why would you using the Pilot make her more confident in her decision? Does she want you to drive it and compliment her new ride?

Yeah I don't get this either. Does she think your refusal is because you don't like it, and therefore she shouldn't like it either? Just tell her that it's not because you don't like it, it's because you don't want to leave her with no car. And are there other reasons you think she doesn't like her car? Because her offer alone doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't like it. This is an odd situation all around.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Nov 28, 2012 21:35:22 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Rent a Pilot.

Like this one:

[CakeLover]

Nov 28, 2012 21:09:43 GMT -5 rosebudred said:

I'm confused - Why would you using the Pilot make her more confident in her decision? Does she want you to drive it and compliment her new ride?

I think she would feel more confident in her decision because it would be used by us. She doesn't need a vehicle that big at all. It's just her. And she mentioned to SIL she was thinking about getting a car but was thinking about van or equivalent for us (all of us, our family plus SIL's). All of us have moved away, SIL is in FL, we're in Australia. We wouldnt use this vehicle. We don't come home that often.

Its less about compliments and more about feeling useful to us. I just don't think she thought this one through.

[CakeLover]

Nov 28, 2012 21:17:47 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Nov 28, 2012 21:09:43 GMT -5 rosebudred said:

I'm confused - Why would you using the Pilot make her more confident in her decision? Does she want you to drive it and compliment her new ride?

Yeah I don't get this either. Does she think your refusal is because you don't like it, and therefore she shouldn't like it either? Just tell her that it's not because you don't like it, it's because you don't want to leave her with no car. And are there other reasons you think she doesn't like her car? Because her offer alone doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't like it. This is an odd situation all around.

We have told her multiple times that we don't want to leave her without a car. We've told her it's a reliable brand, car, yada, yada. Our last conversation she said 'I just wish you would use the Pilot'. Again this was after we told her we will not leave her without a car. I don't know how else to communicate it to her that we're fine.

[audry80]

Why don't you rent a small car and let her use it while you use the Pilot. She will not be left without a car and she will be happy you will be using the pilot.

[ellipses84]

Nov 28, 2012 22:09:00 GMT -5 audry80 said:

Why don't you rent a small car and let her use it while you use the Pilot. She will not be left without a car and she will be happy you will be using the pilot.

You could do this, or to make it more MM, just rent a car for half the time you are there, for the days you are traveling elsewhere.

[dexteroni]

So she based the car she drives every day on a car you might want to use while visiting once or twice a year? That is so bizarre. If she had bought a small car instead, she could have treated you to a lifetime of rental cars with the savings.

[CakeLover]

Nov 29, 2012 6:01:21 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Nov 28, 2012 22:09:00 GMT -5 audry80 said:

Why don't you rent a small car and let her use it while you use the Pilot. She will not be left without a car and she will be happy you will be using the pilot.

if you do this, be careful to list her as a driver. If she's not an identified driver and has a wreck, there will be insurance issues.

Good advice!