Moms of 2, 2+-what did you do differently?

[Willis Jackson]

I chilled the eff out.

With my first, I didn't realize that babies/kids change ALL the time so when DS had a few days of good sleep I'd be all "Wheeee!" but then it would go to crap again and I'd try to figure out how to fix it. With my second I just rolled with the good and the bad, knowing that as soon as I got used to something it would change.

I also don't let the tantrums and stuff bug me as much. I just stay consistent with my expectations and consequences and know that it's possible my kid will still act like an asshole for 3 months straight.

[ijack]

I agree - I chilled out. Part of it was also the difference between having a preemie with eating issues and term baby without issues, but I'm so much calmer this time around. I haven't really done things differently, but I feel more confident in my decisions and realize that this too shall pass.

[cjeanette]

Agree on the chilled out. Babies are a lot of work but caring for them is not that complicated and I realized that.

[cjeanette]

Oh, and I let both kids sleep in the swing. No one ever made a comment to me. If they sleep they sleep!!

[Deleted]

I think I am going to get an Angel Care monitor for our next. I under estimated how much of a worry wart my DH is ( he has OCD, and anxiety). DS has been STTN 99 percent of the time since 7 weeks, but I can count on my hand how many nights DH has slept through, he is always up looking at the monitor, checking on him ect.

Uggh

[satama]

I stopped feeling guilty about stuff. Well, some stuff. Like giving formula in the hospital (DS was in the NICU briefly and we had latch issues), I had to suppliment in the hospital with DS1 due to weight loss and I felt all this guilt about it. I also thought I had to be engaging him constantly. I am way more likely to let DS2 just play with some toys in the floor and not feel like I need to be singing/talking/reading to him 24/7.

Basically, like everyone else said, I chilled out. Lol.

[h]

I was more laid back in general.

I wore DS2 more than I wore DS1 (as in, DS2 was almost constantly in a sling for the first few months) because I needed my hands free to do stuff with my other kid.

I was less bothered by the tough times and sleepless nights since I knew that those times would ultimately pass fairly quickly and that I had not, in fact, ruined my life forever.

I was more lenient with TV and food with DS2. With DS1 we tried to do no TV before 2 and fed him almost all organic whole foods. DS2 was watching Diego and eating Goldfish with his big brother long before then. It was tough to avoid letting DS2 do certain things that DS1 was allowed to do.

Similarly, DS2 plays with age-inappropriate toys. At 2.5, he spends most of his time playing superheroes, Star Wars, Legos, etc. because that is what DS1 is into.

[knitty]

I made sure I started bottles early enough and offered them consistently. I made sure my birth plan had no formula written all over it. That's about it -I was relaxed the first time round, if I'd relaxed any kire I would have dropped the baby!

[SusanBAnthony]

I baby wore a lot more bc I had to. I was also great for dd as she screamed otherwise

She slept on her stomach. Shhhhhhh.

I started nursing side lying in bed from day one.

I didn't do cloth diapers at all bc they suck! I knew i didn't have the time or patience for more laundry and more frequent diaper changes (both my kids peed constantly and had to be changed every 30 min if they were in cloth).

I did teach dd to pee in the potty as a baby (ec). It worked great for h in the summer. In the winter we quit. She potty trained by herself in one day at age 2, and I attribute that to ec. It is pretty easy to potty them right when they wake up and right after eating (that is all we did).

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 3, 2012 13:20:55 GMT -5 @lauralynne said:

I'm on #3...this poor kid has THE MOST laid back parents ever. Ask me in 20 years if this is better or worse...right now I'm loving it.

I'm #4. My oldest brother used to come visit, open the fridge, and be appalled that we had ginger ale because Mom and Dad never let him have soda. lol.

[rootbeerfloat]

I agree with the others. I was much more relaxed. I didn't stress as much over eating or sleeping, and I took DD out much sooner, a necessity since DS didn't like being stuck in the house.

I introduced a bottle later with DD, but not on purpose; I just couldn't find time to pump. And DD learned about TV and junk food much sooner than her brother did, but that's one of the perks of not being the first kid.

[whitepicketfence]

As others have said, I'm much more relaxed now.

I also wore DD2 a lot more when she was younger since I had 2u2 and needed my hands free.

DD2 also slept in our room (just moved her out a week ago at 15 months) but that was more out of necessity as well since we only have a 2 bedroom house.

[Brie]

I don't have #2 yet but the one thing I know is that we are not having any visitors that stay for more than half an hour for at least two weeks. And nobody is staying overnight under the guise of 'helping'.

[SusanBAnthony]

I thought of another one. With DS, I was antsy to get out of bed and out of the house. With number two, I took full advantage of the first two weeks, and laid in bed as much as possible. The baby mostly slept and I got a chance to relax and read books, nest, etc. I knew that once I was back in a normal routine I would have very little free time, so I took advantage of it while I could.

[mollybrown]

Ditto much of what's been said about being laid back.

In addition, I was a total germophobe with my first. If his bottle fell and hit the floor, well we just pulled out a new one. With the second kid, there usually is no second bottle. We wipe it off the best we can and give it right back to her. She's eaten off of plenty of restaurant tables (although we still discourage it).

I remember someone posting about how shocked they were that many people didn't use wipes, and how their baby got wipes and vaseline/diaper cream at every diaper change. We did all of that for the first kid. The second got the vaseline treatment for her first month maybe. Her bedtime routine is much less organized than her brother. He got full body lotion, bath, face wash, hair brushed, a certain number of books, etc. The only rules for the second is that her teeth are brushed and she gets an overnight diaper.

Like you, I will be more open to formula. I think being so focused on breast feeding with my first that it really made the first few months less enjoyable. I wasn't able to breast feed my second, and I found it easier to bond with her because I was so much less stressed, and getting more sleep. I'll aim to BF number 3, but I won't let it take over my life.

[bunch]

I'm not sure that I can be much more laid back, but I won't worry about what other people think as much. And I won't give a second thought to worrying if my NB is stimulated. I still trying to decide how I want to handle sleep, but ill probably sleep train/night wean earlier.

[Deleted]

So many things...I learned so much & realize that being flexible based on each child's personality/temperament is so important. I do not have expectations going in anymore. I am really a much better mother, definitely more fun & definitely better to around now. I think I was a good first time mom but I was so worried, unsure, racked with guilt, etc, compared to now. I really feel so much more "grown up" now at 37 than I did in my late 20s with my first.

[8675309]

Definitely less of a germaphobe with #2. If the binky hit the floor with #1 we scrubbed it clean. With #2 we implement the 5sec rule.

We also leave #2 in the jumper while we get ready for work. If I can hear the jumper squeeking away, I know he's fine. With #1 we had to have an eyeball on her ALWAYS. I dragged every piece of equipment to the bathroom/kitchen etc JUST so I can make sure she was ok while I did XYZ task. So much time wasted on worrying.

Overall, we are just so much more relaxed this time around.

[Mrs.Syntax]

Someone mentioned letting baby #2 play by themselves more. This is one of the things I intend to do with the upcoming baby... I doted on DD #1 wayyyy too much, every waking moment I was stimulating and playing with her. And now I have a kid who will not play by herself.

[niki]

I won't be in denial that I will become a stay at home mom, so I will start building a stash right away instead of waiting until my supply is too regulated. Not having a good supply of back up frozen milk was a big source of stress for us.

I will also encourage people who want to see the baby to come to the hospital instead of visit at home. It was much easier to tell people to leave at the hospital when I needed to rest/nurse than it was at home. I also stressed too much about the house being clean enough when they were there.

[cjeanette]

Dec 3, 2012 22:40:30 GMT -5 niki said:

I won't be in denial that I will become a stay at home mom, so I will start building a stash right away instead of waiting until my supply is too regulated. Not having a good supply of back up frozen milk was a big source of stress for us.

I will also encourage people who want to see the baby to come to the hospital instead of visit at home. It was much easier to tell people to leave at the hospital when I needed to rest/nurse than it was at home. I also stressed too much about the house being clean enough when they were there.

I loved hospital visitors no one stays long unless they are my mil...lol

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