s/o dogs and babies

[whitterbugk]

I went to my book club at an acquaintance's house yesterday evening, bringing my 4 month old along. Another friend had her 3 week old there. The hostess said she was fine with kids coming (and it's not unusual to have babies at our group).

The hostess's dogs were very, very friendly. The kept licking my baby, were pretty much standing on top of me while I was holding him on the sofa, etc. I wasn't very comfortable with this. I had never met these dogs before, they didn't know me or my son, etc. I just kept pretending to pat the one who was standing on me while actually trying to keep a little distance from the baby with my hand.

The hostess kept saying, "Oh, they just love babies!"

I feel like she should have offered to have put them up in another room, or outside, or something, maybe? We were there for a hour and 15 minutes, so not a terribly long time. Am I wrong for thinking that?

I didn't say anything to her, of course, just smiled and said what cute dogs they were.

[arch01]

yes, IMO the dogs should've been elsewhere, but this is something we do as a courtesy to our guests. i don't necessarily know about allergies or if people (acquaintances) like dogs. even when we have good friends over, the dog goes somewhere else.

[ssmjlm]

I would have at least re-directed the dogs so they weren't constantly around.

I wouldn't have put my dog outside though b/c I do not agree with dogs unsupervised outdoors.

[whitterbugk]

Dec 3, 2012 13:19:54 GMT -5 @lauralynne said:

If you were uncomfortable, you should have said something...otherwise as the hostess, I would have assumed it was fine.

I know, I should have . I kept waiting for the girl with the younger baby to say something (she also knows the hostess much better than I do), but I should have went ahead and said something myself.

[gnomesweetgnome]

She should have done something about it. I discipline my dogs when they are bothering my guests - that's just a common courtesy, since many people aren't comfortable telling the dogs to get down/go away/whatever (especially if they don't have dogs of their own). I'm surprised she didn't offer to put them outside/in their crate/away from you, or at least keep an eye on them to make sure they weren't bugging you. Definitely say something next time (maybe even in advance of coming over), but I'm giving your friend the side-eye for not taking initiative herself.

[CloudBee]

Next time speak up. You can ask if there's a command you can give the dog to keep them down or off.

We usually let our dog roam the house when guests are over. We rarely let him into the backyard (fenced) unsupervised, and he gets upset if he's closed onto the deck because he can see us through the windows.

From time to time well put up a baby gate to keep him away from guests, but typically only if he's being a pain.

If a guest doesn't speak up and allows our dog in their space, I typically assume they are comfortable/happy. Especially when they continue to pet and engage my dog.

[kangaroo11]

Dec 3, 2012 13:37:54 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

If a guest doesn't speak up and allows our dog in their space, I typically assume they are comfortable/happy. Especially when they continue to pet and engage my dog.

Yeah, how is the owner supposed to know you do not want the dog on you when you are petting it? When our dog gets too excited, I will tell her to leave people alone, even if they tell me "oh, it's okay" when she jumps on them.

[rosetyler]

I would have assumed by your behavior that you were okay with it.

The owner perhaps should have been more aware, or asked if you were okay with it. I always leave my dogs out when people come over, but warn them beforehand that they are super exuberant for a few minutes, and tend to want to be all up in your business if you let them.

We can't put them outside unattended, one barks, and the other is prone to catching squirrels and birds and bunnies. If we put them in a closed room, they would probably go nuts and bark.

[froggy76]

I don't put my dog in another room when guests are over- he would just bark the whole time. If he is bothering a guest, I scold him and ultimately put him on a leash and hold him if I have to. However, a lot of people really love dogs and will tell me it's okay. If the person seems comfortable and is petting my dog, I don't worry. You were probably giving her cues that you were okay with it.

[MadamePresident]

If you are petting the dog, then you are accepting and encouraging it to be near you. If you were bothered you should have said something.

But as a host, if I see my dog bothering someone, I will say then can tell him "off" if he is getting annoying.

[pamela]

Yes, they should have offered and given you the opportunity to say if they could stay. I don't consider "patting while trying to keep it away from the baby with my other hand" a "I'm ok with this dog's actions" behavior.

[mollybrown]

My husband is uncomfortable around dogs, and he's never had to ask someone to remove/re-direct/crate their dog. I think it's usually pretty obvious if someone is uncomfortable with the dog in my opinion, even if they don't specifically tell the host.

I think it's fairly obvious that no one wants their baby continuously licked by a strange dog. I'd say something to her in the future, since she's apparently a little oblivious.