Oh it's Tuesday, isn't it??

[Deleted]

May I present Carolyn Hax vs deleted emails

My wife is friends with a former co-worker (also married). I have always supported their friendship and never thought much of it, until one night when I saw an e-mail from him that read, “Can I see you tonight?” Immediately something struck me as off — the wording of the e-mail . . . it just didn’t strike me as a “friend” tone. I thought if it was nothing (i.e., just getting together to chat about work), then my wife would mention it to me, but she didn’t.

I went into her e-mail later to see her reply, and found the message deleted from her inbox, as well as her trash folder, which made me think it was something she didn’t want seen. Later I looked at our phone bill and found she was making multiple texts and calls to him on an almost daily basis — so much so it rivaled what she and I make day-to-day.

I brought it up with my wife, who claimed she had no idea it was so much, that they are simply friends, and that it’s not a big deal. Am I reading too much into this? I just can’t shake the feeling something is going on outside of being just friends.

Anonymous

It sure appears as if you have something to worry about; people don’t double-delete innocent e-mails. Presumably there were other e-mails from the same dates in her trash folder that hadn’t been wiped out?

I think you need to go back to her and say that you’ve thought about it, that you want to believe it’s nothing, but that you can’t shake the feeling that she’s not telling you the truth. Cite the double-delete and whatever else you’ve seen that doesn’t track with “simply friends.” Then say you’d rather have a bad truth here than false reassurance.

Of course, if she decides to stick to her story, you do hit a wall; you either get to act on the evidence you have, twiddle your thumbs waiting for something to happen — unappealing options, both — or you become a chronic snoop, which is among the lower roads to travel.

Until you hit that wall — and in the interest of avoiding it — I suggest you make telling you the truth as palatable for her as possible, whatever that truth may be.

[fussbucket]

Carolyn is always so much nicer than TIP.

[Deleted]

Dude, her answer sucks!

Homegirl is banging that dude, for real. Can I see you tonight. pfft.

[partiallysunny]

So her advice is to sit around and be a dunce? Fuck that noise.

[Deleted]

Because the husband in that story is the one that should be making it a safe environment for the wife to tell the truth. WTF?

[Deleted]

Dec 4, 2012 12:19:19 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

So her advice is to sit around and be a dunce? Fuck that noise.

Or snoop.

Dude, make a judgement call. Bitch is cheating. Put bitch out. The fact that he called her on it and she was all, uhm who me?? Fuck that noise. Youse gots ta go.

[motzie]

Dec 4, 2012 12:20:12 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Dec 4, 2012 12:19:19 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

So her advice is to sit around and be a dunce? Fuck that noise.

Or snoop.

Now, now. That would be the low road.

[Deleted]

It ain't the road when it avoids finding out you're crotch is festering.

[motzie]

Ew.

Is this woman's advice usually so passive and sucky?

[Deleted]

IDK. Let me find another one.

[bowies]

This is almost as bad as Dear Prudence.

Acting on evidence is an unappealing option? WTF?

[Deleted]

In the words of TIP:

Make copies of all financial statements and lawyer up.

[maucat]

This is why I like Dear Margo. If only I could remember the website she's on now that she's no longer Dear Prudence.

[Mrs.Rad888]

Dec 4, 2012 23:45:49 GMT -5 maucat said:

This is why I like Dear Margo. If only I could remember the website she's on now that she's no longer Dear Prudence.

I found her on Creators.com/advice

[maucat]

Dec 4, 2012 23:54:42 GMT -5 Mrs.Rad888 said:

Dec 4, 2012 23:45:49 GMT -5 maucat said:

This is why I like Dear Margo. If only I could remember the website she's on now that she's no longer Dear Prudence.

I found her on Creators.com/advice

Thank you! I also found her on wowowow.com, a site I'd completely forgotten about, during my googling.