ex-H's funeral-super long

[dr.girlfriend]

I'm so very sorry for all that you guys are going through. It will always be a tragedy, but the jagged edges will fade with time, and then maybe you guys will have a few good memories to hold on to, even if they were few and far between.

[phunluvin82]

Dec 4, 2012 12:00:22 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am so upset for you about the grandma. How inappropriate. Your story reminds me of what my Dad's funeral would be like. No advice, but it has me wondering how much of a relationship I should pursue. Sounds like your son and I have a lot in common. Just be the best Mom you can be to them, they need you right now. And don't fret about how you treated him in the past, you were doing what you thought was right at the time.

And it probably WAS right. It's a sad situation all around, but try not to feel guilty about that part. It's not like you can or should just sit back and allow your kids to be exposed to someone like that just in case they may pass away at some point later on. You could not have known this would happen...and either way, that's just not how it works.

[orangeblossom]

I am so sorry.

[CloudBee]

I am so sorry your family had to go through that. You're a strong woman, and a good mother. It sounds like you've offered incredible support to your children.

[jene]

I'm so sorry, your kids are so lucky to have an amazing mom like you.

[kateausten]

Dec 4, 2012 12:48:26 GMT -5 @randomcdn said:

Oh, I thought he was younger for some reason. I agree with the other poster, tell him you're just worried and would he go a few times for your peace of mind. It seems like it's what he needs, but he's reluctant to take the first step.

I can't help think that if I knew why he didn't want to talk to his dad my answer and anyone else's would have been "i'd have done/said the exact same thing." (not asking you to tell me. Just reading this post, that's my gut reaction. That it must have been bad. And there must have been a lot of crap piled on this kid before he finally said 'enough is enough. You're toxic, I don't deserve this and won't put up with it anymore")

Basically his dad was a loser. He never graduated from high school, was into drugs/alcohol, couldn't keep a steady job, arrested several times, would stay wherever someone would support him, etc. When we were together he tried getting his shit together but couldn't sustain it. I got tired of it and left for good when DS was 8 and DD was almost 2. I was in my last semester of the nursing program and finally realized that I could do better.

Once we split he really went downhill. Got 2 DUI's, hardly worked, didn't pay child support and moved all over the place. He saw the kids semi-regularly at first but then moved to Illinois and after that he would go years without seeing them unless I took them to him.

DS was embarrassed that he didn't finish high school and was pissed that he wasn't around like he should have been. I tried to encourage him to talk to his dad so DS wrote him a long letter about how he felt and how upset he was. Ex-H wrote him back making up all kinds of excuses about his life and actually told DS that the reason he didn't finish high school was because DS was born. What a load of shit. He didn't finish because he hardly went and just gave up. No one in his family gave a shit if he went so he didn't go. The last time DS saw his dad was 2006. The time before that was 2003. You get the picture.

I'm guessing life was too painful for ex-H to deal with so he just drank himself to death. So sad.

[Deleted]

How awful.