WWYD

[mel]

So our beautiful son just recently turned 1 and things between us are better than ever. We are planning to start TTC #2 in March. We plan to stop after #2 and take a year or so to decide on #3. More than likely we will stop after 2. I will be carrying again. Our donor has been sold out for a very long time but we were lucky enough to be able to purchase vials from someone that had extra. So currently we have 5 vials of our donor in storage. He recently made another donation so there are currently vials in quarantine. Our bank is running a sale through the month of December that is buy 3 and get 1 free. I was lucky enough to conceive our son on the first try with 1 well time insemination and therefore only used 1 vial. If you were in our spot would you purchase additional vials? If so, knowing about the sale, how many would you buy? I am leaning towards purchasing more as just having 5 makes me a little nervous but at the same time I don't want to be paying a ton of money for sperm that we may or may not need. Any suggestions?

[ElsaVonM]

Nine (the 5 you have + 3 more purchased + 1 free) is a lot, especially since you know that you work, he works, you work together, and you probably only want one more kid. I would probably buy one more and leave it at that. We are undecided on having more and our donor is retired; we have 7 in storage and will only be concerned if we decide that I should carry instead of Jen, since my fertility situation is unknown.

[joyseattle]

I think these decision are so hard.

For me, personally, 9 isn't a lot. We knew we wanted two and it is very important to us that they be with the same donor. We bought 12 IUI, used 3, donor sold out, then 2 ICI became available which we bought, then 2 more IUI which we bought, used 1 (this past cycle) and now have 12 left (10 IUI and 2 ICI). Now that we're pregnant much more quickly than anticipated, it seems like a lot, but I personally would rather have the insurance of extra than the disappointment of not enough (and this is coming from someone with deep money issues who hates to waste money on anything). C really doesn't want three, but I love the idea that if we had "extra" I may be able to convince her, but we have to see how this all pans out.

I think though it comes down to a few questions:
How important are full siblings?
How (medically) aggressive are you willing to be if necessary to get pregnant with that number of vials (i.e. if you were down to one or two vials, would you do injectibles or IVF)?
Are you concerned about fertility changes due to age and health between pregnancies?

[mel]

It's a very hard decision. Jenn thinks 9 is too many. The ironic thing is the person we bought the 5 from originally had 9 she was selling and Jenn said we absolutely did not need that many. Now here he went and donated again and we are considering buying more and would end up with 8-9 anyways. She has left the decision up to me but I know that she's thinking that's a lot. It is very important to me that our son has a bio sibling. When we conceived our son, I had lost quite a bit of weight and we were able to conceive doing it at home without any medical intervention at all. I have since gained a little weight back that I am currently attempting to lose while we are just starting to track my cycles again. We have much better health insurance coverage now that does include infertility testing and treatment including IVF so I am open to medical intervention if necessary. I am in the camp of buy as many as we can possibly afford but I want to be reasonable and sensitive to her wishes as well.

[bluedaisyus]

I'm probably not the best person to answer given my situation, but I would want more than I thought I needed. Then again it took my wife 6 cycles to get pregnant with our son, and after 13 cycles of trying and 12 IUIs over the last two years I have yet to have a successful pregnancy, so I'm sure my response is colored by my own experience.

[mk]

I agree with Blue. We've gone through 9 vials in the past two+ years with no baby. Buy what you can afford. You can always sell what you don't end up needing.

[quinny]

Does your health insurance require 6 or 12 failed attempts before kicking in? If not, than I'm sure you'd be fine with what you have. My RE said she could break 1 vial into countless vials for IVF but my insurance needs 6 failed attempt before it'll pay for IVF. If that's the case, obviously I'd say but more. It took us over a year to conceive our son, though 7 months of that was my wife trying and she's a bit older, and now I'm on my 3rd tww. Our donor is retired and we bought what was left, 10 vials. It makes me so nervous to know we only have 7 left and we are pretty sure we want more than 2 kids. I'm the wrong person to ask. Buy 8

Does your bank have a buy back? If so why not? I know you loose a little money but you said it's important, I think it's worth the piece of mind. That is, if your insurance won't kick in right away. Sorry I'm on my phone and was up every 45 min last night, I am sure this is scattered

[twotrue]

Quinny asked the questions I was going to. With DD we bought 3 vials of IUI and she was try number 3. After she was born, I called the bank to buy more and they only had IVF vials left. I bought all 10. Because they were IVF vials, we used two vials for the IUI that achieved this pregnancy. That means I have 8 vials left that will never get used. I don't regret having the extra at all.

If you think you could do 3 IUIs and then move to IVF (using the IUI vials you have) than perhaps stick with your 5. If you're comfortable buying vials, leaving them at the bank, and then selling them back if you don't use them (if your bank allows), than I would also buy more.

I'm a buyer though as you can tell since I bought 10 vials at once - lol!

[quinny]

Over a year = more than 30 vials. It keeps me up at night knowing we only have 7 and if we use 6 now with IUI and I conceive with IVF, any subsequent kids will be !~\ of pocket IVF which is crazy to think about. I'd buy em all

[thiswillbe]

As someone stuck in the position of TTC #3 with ONE vial, and therefore forced to do IVF in an attempt to have full bio siblings, I'd say buy as many as you can reasonably afford. Especially if you are able to sell them back to the bank (I know our bank has a program where you buy them but leave them in storage there, and then you can sell them back for a partial "refund" down the road). Sperm is expensive, but we could have purchased SEVERAL vials for what we're going to end up spending on IVF.

[tattooedmeegs]

I would say buy the 3 more (plus 1 free), and if you happen to get pregnant with just 1 again, you can always sell the rest.

[mel]

I'm a buyer too. My first reaction when I found out he had donated again was "buy them all"! However when I voiced that opinion Jenn looked at me like I had two heads. So therefore I think I will buy 3 and get the one free so that we will have 9 vials in storage. Even though we were so lucky to conceive quickly the first time around, I am still very nervous about fertility the second time.

[kershnic]

My experience is like MK and Blue. I've used 10 and do not yet have a baby. And that's without any b2b jazz that some people put stock in. My RE also strongly preferred 2 vials for IVF, in sharp contrast to what quinny's RE said. I'd buy 'em all, especially if your bank has a buy back policy.

[hlke]

I'd buy at least four more, and maybe more based on insurance and RE requirements. Our RE strongly prefers back to back IUIs, and based on our treatment plan, we conceivably could use 14 vials just to achieve one pregnancy. 3 natural IUIs, 3 medicated IUIs, IVF. If vials were limited, we could probably get by with 5 or 6 with different treatment options, but it wouldn't be ideal.

I guess I feel like I've seen so many people struggle with infertility (and secondary infertility) that I'm not willing to assume getting pregnant will ever be easy. Sounds like you feel that way too, and vials in the bank will make you feel better. I think DW will be able to understand that if you communicate it that way. 4 vials should run around $2100, and at least for us, OOP expenses for IVF would be higher than that.

[mel]

I did order an additional 4 vials so now we have 9 in storage for a bio sibling. I'm hoping that turns out to be enough but only time will tell.