SAHM rights after divorce?

[stinkyfeet]

I know I need to talk to a local attny, but I wanted to get an idea of what rights a SAHM mom has during a divorce. Is alimony a given? What about schooling? I just supported H finishing his masters and the plan was for me to go next. I can't afford to do this on my own and wasn't sure if it was even an option right now. Any thoughts are appreciated!

[Deleted]

It will depend on a lot of things.

What is the highest degree you have?
How long have you been out of the workforce?
How old are you?
Do you have any disabilities?
Do you have a good lawyer? (lol it is important in this case).

To sum it up, if you have let's say a Bachelor's degree, you're under 40 and you have been out of the workforce for 5 years or less and you are fully capable of working, your chances for alimony are slim to none. You could get temporary alimoney i.e while you complete your Master's degree if your lawyer is good.

I was in a somewhat similar situation. I gave up my career so XH could finish his Bachelor's degree (I have a Master's and had 3 years of work experience). I was working but doing a job paying just above minimum wage. As soon as XH got his 1st real job out of college, he said sayonara to the marriage. I had to now survive on my low income. I asked for temporary alimony while I could go back to my career and make a decent living. My attorney and I faught for this and I got 10 months. But it was hard!

While we didn't have kids and I was working, I have sworn to NEVER EVER become a SAHM/W. In case of a divorce, you're screwed. You'll never be at your full salary potential in case of a divorce. Alimony nowadays is more for women who have been out of the workforce for 20+ years and who are above 50 years old. It's harder for them to find a decent job.

[stinkyfeet]

Wow, great information. Thank you! I've been out of the workforce for 7 years, have my bachelors and was making a great living before I SAH. I'm 38 so it sounds like temporary alimony is my best hope. Ugh.

I'll check with some local attny's and got from there. Thank you!

[Deleted]

Yeah, you're not a good candidate for alimony. You could ask for temporary alimony while you go back to school. Make sure your attorney fights for this with the right arguments (loss of professional opportunities, loss of promotions....).

[formerlyak]

It actually depends on your state and how long you were married. Here in CA, if you are married less then 10 years, there is a calculator to figure our who gets the alimony and how much. And you pay for a term equal to half the time you were married. I got my ex to waive his right to that (I would have owed him for 4.5 years). My brother had to pay and his ex worked during their whole marriage and through their divorce.

More than 10 years it is a bit more tricky.

[Deleted]

Well keep in mind there are no laws for alimony. Just guidelines. So many factors come into play. Eventually, if you can't come to an agreement, the decision will be left at the discretion of the judge. In my State, judges are more and more against lifetime alimony.

Also, getting child support is a big factor. Child support takes precedence over alimony. And eventually, you can't have someone pay for alimony if they don't have the financial means to do so.

[stinkyfeet]

Thank you all so much, I'm glad I'll be going into a convo with an attny with a realistic expectation of what alimony is like.