Post by UMaineTeach on May 25, 2012 13:32:02 GMT -5
what mad me the most mad in that whole thing is the counselor suggesting you have to pitty him due to his fear of abandonment - I bet abandonment is high on every abuser's list of things he doesn't want to happen - ruins all his fun.
woman needs a counselor who is not falling victim to his manipulation just like she is.
Dollars to donuts ole boy is gearing up to whooping her ass. He's just one slippery slope away from beating her ass on a routine basis. Many moons ago, I dated a guy like this, it starts with the isolation and manipulation. I broke up with him after a very, very ugly and heated argument. He never laid a hand on me, but it was easy to see that would have been the road traveled if I had stayed.
Dollars to donuts ole boy is gearing up to whooping her ass. He's just one slippery slope away from beating her ass on a routine basis. Many moons ago, I dated a guy like this, it starts with the isolation and manipulation. I broke up with him after a very, very ugly and heated argument. He never laid a hand on me, but it was easy to see that would have been the road traveled if I had stayed.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. A man who won't look at you while you're wearing sunglasses he doesn't like will start being ass once that tactic no longer works.
(funny the security check word this time is "evil genius" ;D)
You guys can despise your FB "friends" for posting their weight loss, exhubby rants and pictures of organic foods, but I can't despise a spineless dumb bitch who not only can't protect herself, can't even figure out when she needs protection?
The dude isn't as sorry a case as the chick. He is just a seriously insecure asshole and won't find much happiness in life unless he changes. I don't think that chick can be fixed.
(funny the security check word this time is "evil genius" ;D)
You guys can despise your FB "friends" for posting their weight loss, exhubby rants and pictures of organic foods, but I can't despise a spineless dumb bitch who not only can't protect herself, can't even figure out when she needs protection?
The dude isn't as sorry a case as the chick. He is just a seriously insecure asshole and won't find much happiness in life unless he changes. I don't think that chick can be fixed.
Put her down! Abort abort!
He's not an insecure asshole, he's an abuser who knows exactly what he's doing.
Sister ought to take a closer look at her MIL. Bet she has some bruises from "falling down the stairs."
That whole post makes me so sad. I hope she doesn't go to dinner with her tonight. HAB, you said some really awesome things to her, and I hope she listens to you.
And she needs to find a new counselor, STAT. What the hell is up with that counselor? She/he sucks donkey balls. There's nothing in that relationship worth fixing.
I heard quite a number of places that couples' counseling is the last place a couple dealing with any form of spousal abuse should ever go because the abuser always succeeds in snowballing the counselor. Because the victim believes what the abuser is saying anyway, they don't contradict the abuser and thus, the counselor is often unaware it's an abusive relationship for quite a number of sessions.
Usually, the abuser takes what the counselor says and uses it to further abuse and isolate his victim and the couple leaves counseling before the counselor can see the signs.
HAB - I can see that. My ex-h TOTES snowballed our counselor. Our counselor was dumbfounded when all the deets came out after my ex-h just stopped coming to counseling. And to think now, I was not doing what homechick is doing in that thread. I didn't make excuses. In fact, the counselor told me I needed to be less confrontational if we were going to make any headway.