Ok. She's throwing a party for you and her dh tomorrow. You're one of the guests of honor. You did not clear with her about staying overnight there until yesterday; and the answer was a kind and appropriate no, not this time. Now that you cannot stay over, you don't want to go; but your real reason for not going is that you cannot get hammered at this party like you used to in the past because the other guest of honor (whose house this is at) is not a drinker (or is it that your dh is not going because HE's a nondrinker?).
I think it would be appalling to back out at this point, and I don't know how you'd explain it without really hurting some feelings. Get a hotel room, drink there all you want, and go home in the am.
She can't get drunk b/c she'd have to drive 2.5 hours home, alone. She also said the party is primarily for bil. I truthfully think it's a bit dick she said no, I mean, what they fuck do they need to do that they can't do while you're drunk sleeping?
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
That really freaking sucks. I would back out. If you've gone in the past and you've spent the night each time, it's understandable that you would assume the same would go this time. Especially if there is always drinking involved. Just as it is understandable that she would refuse your request to spend the night, it's understandable for you to not attend under these new circumstances. Do you have girlfriends in town that you can blow it out with?
I'm sure that if you tell her you're not going, it will suddenly be ok for you to spend the night. How would you handle that?
I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I think it's really, hugely sucky that your H went back to JW.
Ok. She's throwing a party for you and her dh tomorrow. You're one of the guests of honor. You did not clear with her about staying overnight there until yesterday; and the answer was a kind and appropriate no, not this time. Now that you cannot stay over, you don't want to go; but your real reason for not going is that you cannot get hammered at this party like you used to in the past because the other guest of honor (whose house this is at) is not a drinker (or is it that your dh is not going because HE's a nondrinker?).
I think it would be appalling to back out at this point, and I don't know how you'd explain it without really hurting some feelings. Get a hotel room, drink there all you want, and go home in the am.
She can't get drunk b/c she'd have to drive 2.5 hours home, alone. She also said the party is primarily for bil. I truthfully think it's a bit dick she said no, I mean, what they fuck do they need to do that they can't do while you're drunk sleeping?
yeah, i'm not sure where suesue is getting the whole she can't drink because of bil idea.
anyway, of course you can say no. it's 5 goddamned hours round trip, one of those trips at night. alone. even if you were a teetotaler, that blows.
find a gracious way to say it, and then make alternative plans with your local girlfriends. i'd last minute go out for a girls' night for a friends birthday in this situation, FOR SURE.
If there is no one attending the party specifically to celebrate your birthday, I would that while it's was sweet to include her in the festivities, that you're concerned about having to drive 2.5 hours back home alone late at night. Just tell her you completely understand but think you're going to pass on this party, but hope you guys can get together soon.
And then having a smashing time with booze and cake at home.
Whatever you end up doing, I hope you have a Happy Birthday. Treat yourself well.
I didn't read all the responses but a hotel and taxi seem in order here. If that can't happen, just tell her that's too much driving in one day for you.
oooh. I hate stuff like this. You are 'put out' by going, but it will now look like you're upset if you don't go.
I don't know what you should do, but what you shouldN'T do - is over expain yourself if you end up not going. lol. that's what I do. I talk to the point that even I'm left wondering if I'm upset or not.
I hope you go. but imo - "H is away, it's a long drive alone, and someone needs to be here for the boys." is a good enough excuse.
Post by MixedBerryJam on May 25, 2012 14:59:01 GMT -5
I don't mean to sound ignorant, but why can't/won't your husband go to the party? Do JW's not party in addition to not drinking? Because I don't understand why he wouldn't go to the party and just not drink.
Post by retardy4thaparty on May 25, 2012 15:04:03 GMT -5
Clearly people are also missing that her husband is also out of town. I say you tell her you can't go. Driving home 2.5 hours alone at night is a good enough excuse. If she asks why you didn't tell her before, just be honest.
I texted her shortly after I posted this and said I'm sorry, I can't find a reasonably priced hotel, I don't think I can make it.
I do want to clear this though - this party is mainly for her H and has ALWAYS been a big drinking event. There is no one coming to see me per se. I'm also not mad at her/them in the least, I just wish I had known ahead of time that I couldn't stay, maybe I could have worked something out ahead of time if that was the case, but it's not.
I don't mean to sound ignorant, but why can't/won't your husband go to the party? Do JW's not party in addition to not drinking? Because I don't understand why he wouldn't go to the party and just not drink.
JW's don't celebrate Birthday's or Holidays or vote for that matter. Also he's not in town.
This is perhaps intolerant, but just because he pulled a bait and switch on you doesn't mean he gets to opt out of life. I don't see why he can't drive with you, find something else to occupy his time while you visit, and then he can drive you home. Your life shouldn't have to be put on hold, and i think he needs to be on the receiving end of the inconvenience of HIS choices.
This is exactly what I was going to say. He can go find something else to do for a few hours (or hang out with his parents) and then yay! sober driver.
Eekkkk - one more thing, my actual birthday was last Friday.
Some of you probably remember my b-day pity party last Friday night. The party for my BIL (and me I guess) is this weekend because he was working last weekend.