I would think go 1/2 & 1/2: Use the jacket when you're alone, but when he's with his dad or if/when you feel confident, let him without it too... that way he can learn to swim without it and still give you peace of mind
<3 thanks guys. I really appreciate all the feedback.
To clarify - He's playing near the shore - not swimming in the ocean, that's just out of the question. He goes in to his knees and of course then always tries to go further - which of course we're up his ass about (holding his hand or whatever) When he's with me in the ocean I keep a death grip on his hand and he's all "LET GO!!! and I'm all "NO!" LOL. It's ridic. But I've been tumbled so many times, and then you lose which way is up and it's effing SCARY. Imagining my 5 yr old in ANY danger terrifies me obviously, but I don't want to be a maniac either - so I wanted to get input.
Your answers were all really thoughtful and made me feel better, and I REALLY listened Cville - I completely get what you mean about saftey devices possibly inhibiting skills. He is an excellent swimmer otherwise, and I'm way more relaxed pool Mom - just the ocean is a whole different thing. I've never seen a kid at the ocean with a life vest on in my entire life, and I was afraid that I was being TOO Mommy. xo