WWMLD? IMPORTANT

[aance]

Here are the specifics:

Son is 5.

Son is going through that independent phase where he wants to be a 'big kid'

Son is a fearless maniac and will charge into any potencially dangerous situation with gusto.

I am not a strong swimmer
Husband is a very strong swimmer

Son knows how to swim - but clearly not strong enough for the Ocean

We live at the beach (literally and figuratively)

When we go if it's just me - I'm a wreck - I'm terrified he will be swept away in a current or get pummled under a wave (which both happened to me as a kid - hence my healthy fear of the Ocean)

If my husband is with us - he goes into and around the water with son - sometimes they play with sons boogie board.

Husband is much less "afraid" of Son going into the Ocean than I am - but he's generally calmer and wants to give Son some space to have fun - but he's also certified in life saving and swimming in about 10 thousand different ways

I just got back from Costco and bought son a life vest to wear while playing in the water.

My husband says it's overboard, BUT, understands and agrees with wanting to keep son from possibly drowning etc. Still - thinks that a life vest for playing in the water (not all the way in - like knee deep and the occasional wave tumble) is too much.

To me - it only takes once.

WWMLD?
Thank you.

[aance]

I'm having serious anxiety about all this - I don't want to shield him from everything - just potencially life threatening incidents...

I have to go pick up son from school - be back later to get feedback - thanks so much guys.

[eightangryreindeer]

If there's no lifeguard on duty I think it's a fine idea.

If there is a lifeguard on duty, I think it's a bit much, as long as you also are watching him (which, duh, of course you are).

There's nothing wrong with knowing that you couldn't handle a rip current taking S out on your own, and they do happen.

I got tumbled a lot in the ocean as a kid, but it only made me love the ocean more!!

[Deleted]

Sounds fine to me.

[aance]

Also - Any one saying that it's ridic, I'll obviously need your name to know whether or not I think you're a genrally a psycho and if I should take your advice on child rearing.

[Deleted]

By that, I mean the life jacket sounds fine.

[bonquiqui]

Seems smart to me if you aren't a strong swimmer. Not overboard

[loveday]

Definitely a good idea. Both of mine don't swim yet (lessons are on the books this summer). I would definitely feel safer if he were wearing the lifejacket.

[aance]

OK- You're totally calming my fear of being too "psycho Mom". It's SO hard to find that balance sometimes..

Be back soon.
thanks so much again!!

[housegeek]

Mine would wear a life jacket. I can't swim for shit.

[purrbox]

I'm thrown off by the poll answers (I don't think it's ever "gay" to where a life jacket--especially on a 5 year old kid). Anyway, if you're worried about your son in the water, no matter how far in he goes, and if you're not confident in your swimming abilities, then do what you feel is right.

[Deleted]

I'm of the mindset that you can never be too careful so I'd say yes to the lifejacket. Also, if you're not a strong swimmer yourself, have you considered taking some classes that could boost your confidence so you wouldn't be such a nervous wreck? The beach is such a relaxing place to me, I'd hate to feel nervous all the time.

[sprky79]

There are worse things than a mom who makes their kid wear a swim vest. Stick to your guns, mom.

[scotty]

It's fine, there's an undertow and he's very young.

[purrbox]

May 25, 2012 12:59:29 GMT -5 hungrycaterpillar said:

I'm of the mindset that you can never be too careful so I'd say yes to the lifejacket. Also, if you're not a strong swimmer yourself, have you considered taking some classes that could boost your confidence so you wouldn't be such a nervous wreck? The beach is such a relaxing place to me, I'd hate to feel nervous all the time.

Yeah, you should consider swimming lessons. You'd feel much better at the beach--where you should be relaxing!!!

[gretchenindisguise]

I answered sounds psycho. How big are the waves and rip currents there?

I've yet to see a single kid at our beach with a life jacket on, but our water doesn't get very deep very quickly. And it's cold so kids don't get in very far.

[saraandmichael]

my thoughts are that it takes one time, just one, for a kid to drown. there is no do-over. the atlantic is rough. i'd totally do the life vest.

e has a healthy fear of the ocean, so he won't try to go much past his shins on his own. but if he did, it would be life vest city.

[greylady]

I think if you do this you need to drill it into his head that life jacket =/= unsinkable. If he's already fearless it could make him even less risk adverse. I'm not trying to make you paranoid, but that's exactly how my young nephews would think of it: "I'm impervious to danger, chaaaaaaaaarge!"

[Deleted]

i'd say no, because A) it's probably lifeguarded; B) he's better off with swim lessons and some life lessons; and C) a lifejacket isn't really going to protect him from the threats posed by that shallow-in-front-of-the-breakers type water play.

keep in mind that i WAS a lifeguard for 6 years, so i'm kind of psycho about relying on self-propulsion/keeping your eyes out (swimmer and parent)/learning how to cope without crutches. and that i go to the beach as often as i can, but my main parenting near a body of water is pool-related.

[eightangryreindeer]

gretchen, they can be bad. Every once in a while you'll get a rogue wave that is just out of sync with regard to its size and there are rip currents and the undertow can be very strong.

Sometimes the waves break really close to shore because the Atlantic drop-off in places is pretty steep. Low tide you can walk out forever in some places but high tide you're up to your ankes and then suddenly you're up to your waist or almost over your head.

It's definitely not outside the realm of possibility that he could get knocked down by a wave and then caught in the undertow.

[eightangryreindeer]

Right now the beaches in NJ are not lifeguarded, but that will change over this weekend. Many of the State Park beaches are not lifeguarded at all.

[cleo29]

If I were you, I would honestly start practicing going in the water myself. I would get comfortable being in there alone, learning the best ways to get in and out of the water (this does matter), learning how to work with the currents and practicing swimming in the ocean in general.

If you can start to feel more secure yourself, that will translate to how you are with your son. I never wore a vest in the ocean or when I was playing by the water, and perhaps I would use it when the water is looking rougher.

The reality is, he is going to get tumbled, I did too many times to count. The bigger thing to really work with him is keeping calm. Learning to work WITH the water and not against it. People tend to panic and that is when bad things can happen. Being smart about when you go in the water (in terms of it looking much rougher than usual, looking at riptide warnings, etc) is smart and that is something to teach him too. I dove my first wave in the ocean when I was about 5. I've been part fish ever since.

I think if you can up your own confidence and then instill respect, not really fear, for the water and the ocean and how powerful it can be, you will feel better. I think it is really important to try and not let your anxieties become his anxieties.

[Deleted]

He is 5. I would do the same. Wonder what people thought of my 3 year old in a life vest in the kiddie pool at great wolf lodge. Oh wait, I don't care because it made me comfortable and kept him safe

[Deleted]

May 25, 2012 13:09:35 GMT -5 eightangryreindeer said:

Right now the beaches in NJ are not lifeguarded, but that will change over this weekend. Many of the State Park beaches are not lifeguarded at all.

ah, gotcha. i was the special snowflake answer anyway, since i def didn't think it was "ridiculous." i recognize that my lifeguarding experience makes me a bit crazy about water-assist devices, and how very different pool and beach safety is.

i remember having the crap knocked out of me numerous times as a kid at the jersey shore, but i can't remember how old i was when my parents were cool with me just figuring that out on my own. i know i was swimming competitively at 6 or 7, so that probably helped them a ton in their comfort level (and mine).

[onesweetworld]

A 5 year old needs a life jacket if he is swimming IN THE OCEAN! No question. Not gay at all. Undertow is no joke and can pull out grown adults so yes, kid wears a life jacket.

[eightangryreindeer]

I remember being knocked down a ton, too, as a kid and sometimes resurfacing to very freaked-out looking parents. I always had about a pound of sand in my crotch-liner, lol.

I love playing in the ocean/on the beach.

[drrn04]

You don't have to be in deep water to get knocked off your feet, especially if you're a kid. I pulled a little girl (about 6) from the surf last year, on a lifeguarded beach. She was tumbling around, completely disoriented, sputtering, and terrified, and her mom was nowhere to be found. Turns out mom went for a stroll on the beach and told the daughter to go back to the towels. by herself. Waaaaay down the beach. So the mom obviously sucked, but that's beside the point. The kid could barely keep her head above water, and couldn't get up to get out of the water because the waves (small ones, not even a rough day) kept knocking her feet out from under her.

Keep the life jacket. Stuff happens.

[cleo29]

May 25, 2012 13:21:09 GMT -5 eightangryreindeer said:

I remember being knocked down a ton, too, as a kid and sometimes resurfacing to very freaked-out looking parents. I always had about a pound of sand in my crotch-liner, lol.

I love playing in the ocean/on the beach.

It took me years to figure out to cute a part of the lining so I could just dump the sand out. lol One time, my friend and I were on Assaeteague and the waves were huge, so big we couldn't even get out past breaking point. Good for the surfers, not so much for us. So we just let them knock us down all day and it was actually fun.

I've been in the water days after huge storms and even hurricanes. I love the water, but I also respect it. I know what to do when caught in a rip tide and have practiced. I think most accidents happen when people 1) panic (which is understandable) and 2) are not strong enough swimmers to be out in the water, in the given situation.

[sugarplum]

While it might be a bit overboard if he's just kind of doodling around and the water is below his waste, but a 5 year old will love to test boundaries and it can take a split second for him to take off deeper.

I also agree that continue to improve your comfort level in the water and explain dangers and what we do as precautions to him would be a good thing.

[iamgrace]

You don't fuck around with water. He can wear the jacket.