Stupid fight with DH

[pitterwoo]

I don't have social anxiety but I am very introverted so I've definitely had my moments. One of the foremost things for me with social events is that I'd just rather be at home. The idea of spending time with a large group of people just doesn't always seem fun to me. Also, if the situation is out of my control because I rode with someone else, or I don't know what the plan is that can make me feel much more anxious.

One situation that I remember was in college one of my classes required us to go to a job fair and we had to report back that we spoke to someone and turn in a business card. I remember wandering around the exhibit hall looking at all the booths and being absolutely terrified. I ended up crying in the bathroom. This type of situation wouldn't make me bat an eye now, so I guess it was more about it being a really unfamiliar situation for me that made it so scary. That makes it much easier to deal with than actual social anxiety.

[rubytue]

Reading all these posts, I have to wonder how many of people are dealing with real social anxiety vs just being an introvert (and conversely, where is the line between extreme introvert and social anxiety). Really, its OK to not want to in forced social situations where you don't know anyone. To an extrovert, its fine. To some introverts, its tolerable. But to others, its hell. And that is OK. Its just the way people are.

There is a really good book out there about understanding introverts: www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352145/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355103743&sr=1-1&keywords=introvert

[Deleted]

I do not have social anxiety and I go to a ton of networking events with h. Yet i would find it odd of he left me for half an hour. We go as a couple and we usually socialize as a couple.

Now if its a friend thing that's different. But a work or networking thing? imE couples work the room together.

[yourmother]

Dec 9, 2012 15:58:53 GMT -5 momof2boys said:

My husband has social anxiety and it sucks. While its mostly controlled with medication now(as in he no longer has severe panic attacks and chest pains), its still rough. I do find it embarrassing when he's sitting around with a miserable look on his face. He does this whether I am sitting with him or not, he just looks miserable and i always feel like i'm trying to make excuses for him. That said, most events I go to alone now. Work functions, friends parties etc. It helps that I have the kids excuse, someone has to stay home with them!
I do make him go to family events, they are used to his miserableness and while they don't like it they know the deal. My family is VERY social so they have a hard time understanding it.

What I really hate is we have cut out almost all social events during his worst time. Unless it was imperative we be there we didn't go. I grew up with a social family, and although shy, could handle myself. I almost feel like i've become more socially awkward b/c of him. I sometimes get stressed out now, and have to force myself to go to events. Once I get there I have a good time, but its become so easy to just skip out on these things.

Anyways, basically I can relate. My husband see's a therapist and is on meds, it sounds like your husband could benefit. Until then, there is nothing wrong with attending certain events without him. If they ask where he is, you can always make an excuse...work, another commitment, sick etc. Not that you want to lie but sometimes it beats the alternative...a function with a miserable husband and you becoming embarrassed.

This is pretty much my experience, except I don't have children. My DH suffers from Major Depression and PTSD. The anxiety is off the charts. Although he's heavily medicated, it sometimes doesn't matter. He comes across as aloof or as if he's pouting. The reality is that he feels as if he wants to crawl out of his skin. I've been with my husband for many, many years and his anxiety has certainly curbed my own social schedule and behaviors. We both have very social families who have finally come around and understand. My friends are now used to seeing me attend their events without my DH. Like the prior poster wrote, it can really suck. What sucks the most though, is when new people don't understand anxiety and make snap judgements about my DH's condition and think he can just pop a Xanax and be ok.