Moms of 2+ - equal # of Christmas gifts?

[vanillacourage]

We have gone admittedly completely overboard with DS1 this year and he has a lot of stuff to open under the tree. I have not gotten nearly as much stuff for DS2, because a.) he won't know the difference and is happy with a cardboard box and a spoon and b.) soon he'll just move up to a new grouping of DS1's old toys.

But, I'm wondering if DS1 will notice the disparity and ask about it? I don't want to buy a bunch of baby toys just for the hell of it.

[h]

When DS2 was a baby I didn't really worry about it. I made sure he had presents so that DS1 wouldn't wonder why his brother was left out, but I didn't worry about DS1 actually counting them or anything.

Now that they are 5 and nearing 3, I am trying to make sure that the gifts are pretty close to equal. And they are getting a few identical gifts, since there are things I know they will fight over or be jealous of otherwise.

[Brie]

Growing up, my mom spent TO THE PENNY the same amount on my sister and I. She kept receipts, LOL. Literally, we would get single Hershey's Kisses in our stockings to even out the amount. I do appreciate that she was so serious about keeping everything fair because my sister and I were really competitive.

That said, I don't think it matters when they're this little.

[cjeanette]

We try to keep a similar amount of presents. Not really dollar value. Though their big gift is often joint.

[vanillacourage]

Dec 12, 2012 13:10:00 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

No kids yet, but when we were really little, my mom made up a rule that kids got a number of presents equal to their age. So when my sister was 5, she got 5 presents, but I was only 2, so I got 2 presents.
.

OK, DS1 is approximately 45 years old then. I told you we went overboard. :-( Someone save this thread for when I post next month about what an ingrate my child has become.

I think my issue is the age gap. DS1 is 4.5 and notices everything. Now, he picks and chooses what to remember - like, if I say something about my MIL, he will be sure to parrot it back in front of her, but apparently goes stone deaf when I ask him to hang up his coat.

[h]

I worry about a similar number of presents more than monetary value at this point. My kids are too little to have a sense of how much things cost.

Example: DS1 will get a Wii game, and DS2 will get a $5 DVD. They look like the same size present to the kids, and they have no concept that one cost more than the other. DS1 asked Santa for Legos, and DS2 asked for Thor's hammer. Legos are pricey. The lame plastic hammer that DS2 has coveted for months is $20. That means that Santa will be giving DS1 a pricey Harry Potter Lego set and giving DS2 a plastic Thor hammer and a $10 plastic Thor helmet. DS1's gift will be worth more, but the kids won't know that, and they will each get what they want.

(FWIW, both kids are also getting tickets for a trip to Disney/Harry Potter World the day after Christmas from Santa, so their "big" gift will be shared anyway.)

[mrssandro]

Growing up my mom always tried to match the number of gifts for me and my brother.

That said I doubt she did when we where babies...at least I don't remember then. I think I become conscious of Christmas around 4 or so.

[hilwithonelary]

I did make sure that they're getting the same number of gifts, but I did not worry about spending the same amount of money. DS's presents were a lot more expensive than DD's. I'll worry more about the money as they get older.

[6fsn]

My mom always does the same number of gifts. My brothers and I didn't care, but my sister always counts. Yes, that's present tense. She's 42 and counts.

Right now they are 4, 20 mos, and newborn. I did make sure they have the same amount because the 4 yo is super into counting and he notices everything. It's not the same $ amount and we have some things we are wrapping for baby that are just things we'll need at some point.

[savannah11]

My kids are 3 and 5 and I still don't bother making them equal. Christmas morning has just been a free for all so far with neither of them paying attention to the other. At some point this will change and I will give it more thought.

[Deleted]

My oldest nephew was the only grandchild for the first 5 years of his life. The year my other nephew (his cousin) was born, the family Christmas was at my house. Before the gift exchange, my oldest nephew took my mom to the side and said, "Grandma, do me and John have the smae number of presents?" Luckily they did. It was a major concern of his and they weren't even siblings.

[divajane]

I had this problem last year (DS was 3.5 and DD 14 was months), so I just wrapped up some of DD's clothes that I had in her drawer. That way she had the same amount of things to open. Even though they weren't toys, the fact that there were the same number of presents is all that seemed to matter to DS.

[MadamePresident]

My husbands mother still works hard to keep the dollar value of gifts extremely equal and not just at Christmas. Sometimes we get a random $100 check because she bought something for my SIL.

Her kids are 28 & 32.

[mollybrown]

My kids are similarly spaced, and I did buy similar amounts of things. But DD's gifts include clothes as well, so I don't know how much they count. And if I had 2 boys, I probably wouldn't have bought clothes, so DC2 would have had fewer presents.

To be honest, I was also pretty conscious of having similar numbers of presents so that my MIL can't comment on me favoring one child over the other. She has been known to make foolish comments like that in the past.

[ijack]

I haven't gone through and counted, but I tried to keep the # pretty even. It will become more apparent as they get older.

[rootbeerfloat]

My parents to this day make an effort to keep presents equal between my sister and me, so I try to as well. When DD was a baby this meant she got some small, cheap things. But really, DS was only concerned with his presents. This year, DD will get one more present than DS, but it makes the dollar amount equal.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Growing up, my mom always made sure my brother and I had the exact same number of presents. I will do that for DD and #2 as well.

I'll probably start next Christmas, even though #2 will only be 6 months old, because DD will be 4, and I think she'd notice if she got more presents.

I'd just wrap up tiny little teethers or something to even out the numbers.

[Deleted]

I have a question for all of you who say the older child would notice the difference in the number of gifts so you buy the same amount.

What is so bad about the older child noticing? Couldn't you just explain that they are older and get more gifts and that things will be equal next year when little brother/sister is no longer a "baby".

Maybe I'm missing something. And I'm only referring to situations where the younger kid is around a year.

[Deleted]

Dec 12, 2012 13:15:40 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Dec 12, 2012 13:10:00 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

No kids yet, but when we were really little, my mom made up a rule that kids got a number of presents equal to their age. So when my sister was 5, she got 5 presents, but I was only 2, so I got 2 presents.
.

OK, DS1 is approximately 45 years old then. I told you we went overboard. Someone save this thread for when I post next month about what an ingrate my child has become.

Are you exaggerating on the 45 gifts? It you are already aware of the fact you went overboard then I would return some of the gifts. It's not too late at all considering your child will never know what they almost got for Christmas. 45 gifts is crazy to me!

Unless you are joking which I know is possible. Or if money isn't an issue....

[6fsn]

Dec 12, 2012 17:28:33 GMT -5 @bearysweet10 said:

I have a question for all of you who say the older child would notice the difference in the number of gifts so you buy the same amount.

What is so bad about the older child noticing? Couldn't you just explain that they are older and get more gifts and that things will be equal next year when little brother/sister is no longer a "baby".

Maybe I'm missing something. And I'm only referring to situations where the younger kid is around a year.

There's nothing BAD per se. It's just not a conversation I want to have on Christmas morning. On a Tuesday morning when DS gets something DD didn't sure.

[GailGoldie]

when the twins were babies (6mo) at their first xmas, we just got them a bunch of new pacifiers and some sippy cups and wrapped them up. There was NO reason to buy real gifts.

DS1 was almost 3 at the time and could not have cared less what the twins got. He never even noticed.

Still, we don't do an = number of presents.... we try, but my kids don't count what they get - and they also know that most toys = sharing with everyone in our house- so it's not like what one gets the other won't be playing with.